You Get Me
by valsolo
Summary: Jacen Solo has returned from YV captivity and feels compelled to help Tahiri Veila move on with her life after Anakin. Will his gesture of friendship evolve into something more?
1. Default Chapter

YOU GET ME-a Jacen/Tahiri fic  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``` Chapter 1-  
  
Jacen was back from the dead it seemed. Tahiri had felt his death on board the stolen Yuuzhan Vong ship all those months ago just like all of the other Jedi had including Jacen's own twin sister. But now, he had returned and the whole station was buzzing with excitement.  
  
Tahiri fought back the flash of anger she felt as the thought entered her mind for the millionth time since Myrkr. Why did Anakin have to die? And now knowing Jacen was still alive the wound was ripped back open. Why couldn't it have been him instead of Anakin?  
  
She clenched her fists and blinked back the angry tears. This train of thinking would take her to places she shouldn't go. Her feelings would be easily sensed by the family full of Jedi she was to dine with in only ten minutes. Master Skywalker would most likely be the first to pick up on any anger, but then there was Leia, Jaina, Mara, not to mention Jacen himself. Would he know how much she despised him?  
  
Trying to clear her mind, she quickly combed out her blond hair and splashed a bit of cold water on her face.  
  
"Time to face the music," she muttered to her reflection in the mirror.  
  
As she made her way to the Solo family's private quarters she felt a twinge of guilt. Tahiri knew it was of the Dark side to have such ambivalence toward Jacen. He was not the one to kill Anakin. That had been the Yuuzhan Vong, and she had more experience than she wanted with them. And as she pondered that thought, she realized that Jacen was now the only other person beside herself with such close contact with the Vong who had lived to tell about it.  
  
All too soon, she was standing at the Solo's door. It had become a second home to her. a second family. After Anakin's death, they had welcomed her into their fold with open arms and warm hearts. Never had she felt more a part of something than now. She pushed the buzzer and in a brief moment, it was opened, and she was enveloped in a huge wookie-style hug by Han Solo.  
  
"Tahiri!" he exclaimed as he squeezed her so tightly that her bare feet left the floor. She'd never seen Han Solo so happy. "We've been waiting on you, kid." He let her go and the air rushed back into her lungs. She forced a smile and looked up into his rugged face shining with joy. "Isn't it great? Jacen's back!"  
  
She nodded silently and peeked around to say hello to Leia and the Skywalkers who were already seated at the dining table. Luke was holding Ben on his lap trying desperately to get the boy to eat something green and leafy.  
  
"Hi, Tahiri," the Jedi master offered casually. It still surprised her how the legendary man managed to remain so unassuming. He never held his status over anyone's head, even a lowly orphan from Tatooine like her.  
  
"Having trouble, Master Skywalker?" she asked with a chuckle. She slid into a chair across from him and grabbed Ben's chubby little hand. "Hi, handsome boy," she said and the baby grinned widely revealing his few tiny teeth. Luke seized the opportunity and shoved the food into his son's mouth. The Jedi allowed himself a moment of triumph, which instantly disappeared once Ben got a taste of the stuff and spat it out right onto his father's shirt.  
  
"Sorry!" Tahiri offered while she wrinkled up her nose. "You could always use the Force," she suggested teasingly.  
  
"Don't think I'm not tempted," Luke answered as he wiped off the mess.  
  
Tahiri surveyed the room and noticed that Jaina and Jacen were missing. As if reading her thoughts, Leia announced, "The twins will be here in just a moment. Jaina went to get Jacen." Tahiri couldn't ignore the looks of utter relief and delight that were present on everyone's faces. It was a palpable presence in the room, and she hoped she'd be able to convince everyone she felt the same.  
  
Just then, the doors swished open, and Tahiri froze in her chair. She couldn't seem to turn around to see who had entered, and she didn't need to. Jaina Solo's voice told her all she needed to know.  
  
"We're back and we're hungry!" Jaina had her arm wrapped through her brother's and led him over to the table. "Hey, Mom, Jace told me he's missed your cooking."  
  
Leia ran to greet her son and wrapped her arm through Jacen's other arm nearly beaming her love for him.  
  
"It must have been pretty bad then," came a sarcastic aside from Han. Leia's head snapped around and she glared sharply at her husband.  
  
"Han!" "Daddy!" Jaina added.  
  
"What?" he asked innocently. "I'm just trying to keep things light."  
  
"It's okay, Mom," Jacen assured her with a pat on her hand. "And it's true. I have missed your cooking--- but not as much as I missed you." He smiled and leaned down to place a kiss on his mother's forehead. She wrapped her arms around her son and hugged him as if she'd never let him go again. "Hey, when did you get so short?"  
  
Leia pushed him away indignantly and stared up giving him a playful swat. "I've always been this height, thank you very much. It's just that you've gotten taller."  
  
And bigger, thought Tahiri. At some point during this little familial exchange, Tahiri had gotten up the courage to turn and face her demons, and what she found had not been what she'd expected. To put it lightly, Jacen Solo was different than the last time she'd seen him. Not only was he taller, but it was evident even underneath his loose Jedi tunic that he was much more muscular. His brown hair was a bit shaggy, curling just a little on the ends. However, what struck her the most were the changes in his face. He wasn't as pale as she thought he would be. In fact, he had very healthy coloring. except for the several scars that she knew hadn't been there before Myrkr. There were two small ones on each cheek, close to the bone, and another one at the corner of his left eye.  
  
As she examined this new Jacen Solo, a strange mix of emotions swept over her. They were two of a kind.  
  
"Hello, Tahiri," he said smiling at her. She jolted and forced herself to stop staring at his forehead. Offering a weak smile, her eyes rested on his. An understanding look passed between them, and she instantly felt more comfortable around him.  
  
"Hi, Jacen. I'm glad you're back."  
  
**Did I just say that?** she wondered. She certainly hadn't intended to say any such thing, but it had escaped her lips before she could think about it. Slinking back into her chair, she suddenly felt very confused.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're all glad you're back, Jace," Jaina added. "But that's enough mushy stuff. Can we eat dinner now?" She plopped down beside Tahiri while Jacen moved to take a seat across from his sister and next to Luke.  
  
"Where's Jag tonight?" Mara asked her niece. That got Jacen's attention and he studied his sister from the other side of the table.  
  
"Jag Fel?" he questioned with a raised eyebrow. "What's this?"  
  
Mara, seated on the other side of her husband, leaned forward and peered down to Jacen, a mischievous grin plastered on her face. "Jaina and Jag are becoming an 'item'. Didn't she tell you about it yet?"  
  
"Aunt Mara!"  
  
"No, she didn't. yet," Jacen replied with a grin Tahiri noticed reminded her a lot of his father.  
  
"Oh, great!" Jaina declared.  
  
"Jaina!" Leia admonished from the end of the table.  
  
"It's okay, Mom," Jacen said again. "Really. I actually missed Jaina's complaining."  
  
Tahiri had to giggle at the look of shock on Jaina's face. "Ha-ha. Very funny," Jaina said with a roll of her eyes.  
  
"And what about this whole 'goddess' fiasco? That had to be your idea, Jaya dear," he couldn't resist adding. He shot Tahiri a conspiratorial glance and ended it with a wink.  
  
Han Solo watched the exchange between his children with a sense of utter contentment. For the first time since the war had begun, he felt as if there was hope for his family, and he now considered the barefoot blond sitting at his table one of his own. Her undying devotion to his son had secured her a place in Han's heart. He was only disappointed that Anakin was gone and she wouldn't be able to become a true member of the Solo clan. He'd have to settle for an 'adopted' daughter then, he mused.  
  
"Enough!" Leia announced with a grin. "Let's eat! Luke, would you do the honors, please?"  
  
Luke offered a slight nod as he handed Ben over to Mara and stood to address the small gathering.  
  
"We're here tonight to celebrate life." He turned and laid a hand on Jacen's shoulder. "We had lost hope, and now it's found. Despite our losses, our pain, we are all here together now and for that we are profoundly grateful. Welcome home, Jacen."  
  
Small cheers of "here! here!" sounded from around the table as the family delighted in the return of their son. Then the meal finally began. The menu consisted of delicacies no one had been privileged to since the start of the war, and Tahiri knew that a fortune had to have been shelled out to account for such treats. She was certain that Karrde or Lando Calrissian had helped supply food for the family. The two had been seen at the station earlier in the day.  
  
In spite of the fact that the meal was extremely rare and precious, Tahiri couldn't bring herself to eat much. She took a few bites of this and that, but mostly just managed to push her food from one side of her plate to the other as the conversation rambled on around her. It was apparent that everyone was still a bit unsure of how to act around Jacen. They tried to steer away from any mention of the Vong, which only succeeded in making the evening rather awkward. Several times she ventured a peek at Jacen who was remaining pretty quiet himself. Once or twice she was surprised to find him already looking at her and smiling as if he knew something she didn't.  
  
It was unnerving.  
  
Inevitably, the conversation turned to Jacen. All eyes were glued on him and his mother as she tried to persuade him to go to the med center and be examined.  
  
"I'm all right, Mom. really."  
  
Leia Solo was struggling to keep the tears from her eyes as she looked lovingly upon her oldest son-her only son, now. For so long, he'd been gone, almost a whole year without him. Everyone else was certain he'd died like Anakin, but not her. No, she knew and had known the whole time that he was still out there somewhere. her Jacen. And now he was back.  
  
But he wasn't the same. Anyone who looked at him could tell that much.  
  
"Even so," she managed to choke out through the uncomfortable lump lodged in her throat, "I'd like Cilghal to check you over."  
  
"Mom," he started to protest.  
  
"Just do it--- for your mother?" She was giving him the maternal guilt- trip, something she tried to avoid but was finding all too effective in her older years.  
  
Jacen grinned and sighed, "Okay! Okay! I'll do it for my mother. Politicians.," she heard him teasingly murmur under his breath as he took another bite. At that moment, he sounded just like his father and not at all like a young man who had just gone through a year of hell at the hands of the Yuuzhan Vong. She hadn't yet asked him to share his experience, but the curiosity was eating away at her. Soon, she thought. He'll tell me soon enough when he's ready.  
  
Tahiri found herself sneaking looks at Jacen Solo more often than she'd care to admit. It wasn't that she thought him more attractive than Anakin had been. No, no one could ever compare to her Anakin. He'd been her first and only love. However, something about Jacen and the way he looked at her kept her glancing over and over again. Maybe it was the tattoo, or the fact that he'd been thought dead all this time and was now 'risen' again. Whatever it was made her feel like a fool since he had noticed her staring one too many times. Relief came when the meal was finished and Jacen excused himself for the evening. He only left after being hugged by nearly everyone in the room. everyone except Tahiri. She managed to keep from looking in his direction until the doors closed behind him.  
  
Part of her was disappointed that he had gone--- another part grateful. She stayed a bit longer to help Leia clean up and then headed back to her room.  
  
In the process of opening her door, a strange tingle down her spine caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand up. She froze and then slowly turned around.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"H-hey," she replied, her heart pounding wildly in her chest at the sight of Jacen standing right in front of her.  
  
"I didn't mean to startle you," he apologized.  
  
"Oh, no, I'm-I'm okay," she said. Jacen cocked his head to the side and studied her closely.  
  
"You're lying," he stated with a grin.  
  
"Maybe just a little," she admitted, crinkling up her nose. An awkward silence slipped between them and Tahiri stared at her bare toes. They were painted bright red today.  
  
"Nice toes."  
  
She laughed at his silly compliment and shifted her weight from foot to foot.  
  
"I won't keep you, Tahiri," Jacen began sounding more serious, "but I just wanted to speak with you for a minute, if you don't mind."  
  
"Sure. .. Okay."  
  
"I saw you looking at me." She simply nodded her affirmation. "I can sense your unease around me, and I think I understand why. I still miss him, too."  
  
Tahiri was stunned to hear him speak so openly of feelings she'd been having all night. Was he reading her mind?  
  
"I wish it was me who died instead of him. I'm still not totally sure of why things happened like they did, but some good has come from all of it. I'd like to sit down with you soon and discuss what I've learned. what I experienced." Jacen had taken her small hand in his own and was softly rubbing her knuckles. It took a moment for Tahiri to realize what he was doing, and once she did, she pulled her hand away.  
  
"Why me? Why not talk to your uncle or your sister or someone? Why would you want to talk to me?" she asked.  
  
"Because you'll understand more than anyone else will. You've been there, Tahiri. No one else knows what it's really like. what they're really like." As she gazed into his brown eyes, she knew he spoke the truth. Someone who hadn't experienced the Vong up close and personal could never truly comprehend how they affected you--- or infected you, she thought snidely.  
  
Slowly, she nodded her head. "Okay," she agreed. "I'll listen to what you have to say."  
  
"That's all I ask," he replied with another Solo smile. "We'll talk soon. Goodnight, Tahiri."  
  
And then he was gone as suddenly as he had appeared. ~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~ 


	2. Chapter 2

You Get Me-- Chapter 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
  
The piercing scream jolted her from her sleep, if one could even call it sleep. It took her a moment to realize the voice had been her own and she had been dreaming once again. of him. The images were still fresh in her mind of the last time she'd seen him alive fighting valiantly against the Vong in order to save the lives of others including herself. Every night she was forced to relive the horror of seeing her love simply cease to be leaving only an empty, lifeless shell behind. So many people had told her that time would ease the pain, but with each passing day the pain seemed to be getting worse.  
  
Since Jacen had returned several weeks before, the hole in her heart felt like it was expanding, leaving her more alone than ever. So many things about him reminded her of Anakin. the way he walked, the way he laughed, even the way he smelled only served to taunt and tease her. Fate, it appeared, was a wicked thing, which delighted in the misery of others. or more pointedly, Tahiri's misery.  
  
Everyone else was deliriously happy that Jacen had come back and that the war seemed to be taking a turn for the better. They were full of hope for the future. But not her. What did she have to look forward to even if they did defeat the Vong? Her one true love was gone. She had no remaining family despite the Solo's insistence that she was part of theirs. There was no place for her in the universe. no purpose. What was the point of it all?  
  
At that instant, the door buzzer sounded causing her to jump and her heart to lurch. Taking a deep breath, she headed for the door wondering who would be stopping by in the middle of the night. It couldn't be good news. Nothing good ever came from the night.  
  
Opening the door she was startled to see Jacen standing there. His hair was mussed, and he looked as if he'd just awakened.  
  
"Jacen?"  
  
"Hi," he replied. "Can I come in?"  
  
Tahiri glanced down at her baggy sleep pants and ran a hand through her tangled hair. "I - I guess so," she conceded and then moved aside for him to enter. He walked hesitantly inside as if he was unsure about whether he should be there or not, and Tahiri watched him intently. The door swished shut and she flipped on a light.  
  
"Is something wrong?" she asked waiting for the bad news.  
  
Jacen looked at her in bewilderment. "Um, why don't you tell me," he stated.  
  
Tahiri stared back. "I don't know what you're talking about."  
  
"Well," Jacen began, "I came because I felt you call out to me through the Force. You woke me out of a sound sleep, and I got here as fast as I could."  
  
She studied him for a few moments trying to decide if this was a joke or if he was for real. "Jacen, I didn't call out to you," she finally declared as she turned and plopped on the edge of her bed.  
  
"Hmm.," he pondered. "That's strange. I was for certain that you had. It felt urgent. like you were in danger or something."  
  
Tahiri's gaze shot up, but then she instantly looked away. Surely he hadn't sensed her thoughts, the debate she'd been having about whether it was worth it to even be alive. She immediately put up a block on her emotions, despite the risk that Jacen would easily figure out what she'd done, and tried to sound nonchalant.  
  
"Well, I didn't call you and, as you can see, I'm perfectly all right."  
  
Jacen chuckled. "All right, huh?" Tahiri felt her temper flare, but she kept it in check, watching him as he casually sat down in the chair by her small desk. "Well, that's good to know. I was a little worried about you even though Mom and Dad seem to think you're doing okay. Maybe that's because I know better than them what you've been through."  
  
The serious tone in his voice took Tahiri by surprise, and her defenses snapped reflexively into place. He was headed down roads she didn't want to travel, ready to dredge up memories and feelings she'd been trying desperately to squelch for way too long.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" he invited, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His face and voice were both so sincere and comforting that part of her nearly jumped right in, divulging her deepest, darkest emotions. Being with Jacen Solo seemed so comfortable, so natural. However, she quickly reined in that wayward part, and reminded herself that he wasn't Anakin. and never would be.  
  
"No. No, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk about anything with you right now," she stated, holding her head up high without a single waiver in her voice.  
  
It was Jacen's turn to be taken off guard. He hadn't expected quite so icy a response even though he knew she was harboring feelings that needed to be released, and soon. No one else seemed to be able to recognize that Tahiri was near the breaking point--- or maybe they just didn't want to see it. But he had seen her despair the instant he'd first seen her at dinner with his family. Waiting for his next mission and for Vergere to be released from debriefing might take a while, so for now, Tahiri would be his next assignment. It was the least he could do for his little brother.  
  
"Okay," he finally muttered, "but when you are ready to talk, I'll be ready to listen. That's a promise." He rose to leave and took a few steps toward her. "Anakin loved you, Tahiri. He would want you to live."  
  
She stared up at him in shock. He smiled reassuringly and then turned to go.  
  
"Goodnight."  
  
And just like that, Jacen was gone as quickly as he'd come.  
  
For a few moments, Tahiri sat there simply staring at her door, the numbness of the last year struggling to survive. Then the last words he had uttered settled into her mind and then her heart demolishing all of the walls she'd worked so hard to build. The tears came slowly first, but soon the dam collapsed and so did she. With a moan of anguish, Tahiri threw herself into her pillows and sobbed. The pain was fresh, just like it was the moment she knew Anakin was gone back at Myrkr. All of those horrible images flashed repeatedly in her mind along with all of the good memories she'd almost forgotten, each of them eliciting a wail and a new round of tears.  
  
Time passed, but Tahiri didn't notice. She cried until it was physically impossible for another tear to be shed. Her eyes burned and her heart ached, but somehow she eventually drifted off to sleep.  
  
It was the sweetest slumber she'd had since the day her life with Anakin had ended. 


	3. Chapter 3

You Get Me-Chapter 3 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jacen found his twin sister right where he guessed she would be--- in a flight simulator. He alerted her through the Force that he wanted to speak with her as soon as she finished her latest practice run.  
  
Sure thing, bro, she shot back to him right before blasting through the three remaining coralskippers on her screen. Soon enough the cockpit popped open and Jaina Solo hoisted her petite frame out, landing gracefully on the deck. As she pulled off her helmet, Jacen noticed how disheveled her hair was and chuckled. She never was one to bother with her appearance, and she didn't need to. Her innate cuteness and air of unflappable confidence still managed to turn a few heads even if a few hairs were out of place.  
  
Once she drew nearer, however, he noticed something different. Even though they had just celebrated their twentieth Lifeday, the lines around Jaina's eyes made her look nearly ten years older. Both of them had experienced enough life for a fifty year old in less than half the time. Immediately, he wondered how old he looked, and his hand shot up to rub the scraggly beard on his chin. For the last year in captivity with the Yuuzhan Vong, Jacen hadn't paid much heed to his looks. The last thing a Vong wanted to accomplish was to look 'attractive', so mirrors and personal grooming products were nonexistent. However, one of the first things he had done once he returned was to take an extremely long, extremely hot shower. Cleanliness was a good thing even though he could probably do with a shave.  
  
"I agree," Jaina stated as she walked up to him grinning, "you do need to shave. You're beginning to bear a striking resemblance to a scruffy looking nerfherder."  
  
"Funny," he muttered flatly trying not to smile back.  
  
"I can't help it. I was born this way," she added jokingly. "So, what's up? What did you need to talk to me about?" She slid her arm through his, and he patted her hand. It felt good to have her next to him, his other half.  
  
"How much time do you have?" he asked. "I have a lot on my mind."  
  
"For you, dear brother, I have all the time in the world." Although she said it teasingly, he knew she was being truthful. Finding one another again had brought them both closer than they'd ever been before. The last few weeks hadn't given them much alone time. Jaina and her squadron had been sent on a short mission, and Jacen had split his time between debriefing meetings with officials, visiting Vergere, and spending time with his parents. Leia couldn't seem to hug him enough, as if constantly reassuring herself that he was indeed alive and well.  
  
Jaina offered her room, and they set off arm in arm. Jacen mentally sorted through the list of topics he'd written in his mind. It was overwhelming, so he just picked a starting point.  
  
"Um, how about Jag Fel?" he began. Jaina nudged her elbow into his side. "Ow! That wasn't necessary," he scolded. "So, it's true? You two are an item?"  
  
He noticed the faintest blush on her cheeks and knew the answer before she spoke it. "I guess," she acquiesced. "At least I think so. He's kind of hard to read sometimes."  
  
"Has he kissed you?" Jacen continued as he studied her reddening face. She wouldn't look at him or say anything. "Well, your silence has answered that question."  
  
"Next topic of conversation."  
  
Jacen snickered and received another elbow in his ribs. "Okay! Okay!" he surrendered. "No more teasing you about your new boyfriend. Tell me about Anakin's funeral." The lighthearted mood instantly vanished. Jaina glanced up at her brother, now taller than just a year ago, and struggled to hold back the tears forming in her large brown eyes.  
  
"I-I don't remember much," she admitted, hanging her head. "That was a bad time for me." They had reached her room and went inside. Jaina proceeded to tell Jacen of her near fall to the dark side after Anakin's death while he listened intently holding her hand and offering a hug every now and then.  
  
"So, Kyp helped to pull you back?" he finally asked when she finished her story. "Kyp Durron?"  
  
Through a sniffle, Jacen heard a chuckle. Apparently, he wasn't the first one to question the accuracy of her story.  
  
"Yeah, it was Kyp. He's actually been really great through all of this, believe it or not. The war has changed him. it's changed all of us."  
  
"Very true. very true," he added wistfully.  
  
"Well, there's the lowdown on my big adventure. What about yours? What happened while you were gone?"  
  
Jacen breathed in deeply and held it for a few seconds as he pondered her question. Slapping his knees, he exhaled and tried to figure out where to begin.  
  
"It started in a bubble." For the next two hours, Jaina sat enthralled by all that her brother told her, not knowing that he had withheld some of the more disturbing details. At some points she wept. At others she felt the rage swell up within her at the thought of all her brother had endured. When he finally finished, she sat speechless unable to move.  
  
"Jace," her voice began to break, "I'm. I'm so sorry." She threw her arms around her brother and cried--- for his pain, for her pain, and for the pain both knew was yet to come.  
  
"It's going to be okay, Jaya," he soothed as he held his sister to him and smoothed her hair back. "Whatever happens. it's going to be okay. We can do this. We can do whatever it takes. That's what Anakin knew, and it's what Ganner figured out in the end."  
  
Jaina's giggle was muffled in her brother's embrace. "Ganner," she chuckled. "Did Vergere really have a vision that he would be remembered as some giant hero?--- 'the' Ganner?" She pulled away and wiped her tears with her shirtsleeve.  
  
Jacen snickered lightly. "Yeah. Can you believe it?" She grinned widely as she shook her head from side to side.  
  
"Not really," she admitted.  
  
"I know how you feel, but what he did. it saved my life. Ganner is a hero, just like he always wanted."  
  
Again a serious tone settled between them, and a few awkward moments of silence passed before Jacen spoke again. "What about Tahiri?" he asked. "How has she been?"  
  
"Tahiri?" Jaina replied and then shrugged. "Fine, I guess."  
  
"You guess?" Jacen arched an eyebrow. "Does she talk to you?"  
  
"Not really," Jaina admitted, "but then I'm not around much. She seems okay though. It's not like she's still bursting into tears at the mere mention of Anakin's name like she did for a while there. She was a mess for about a month or so, just like the rest of us. Now, though, she acts fine." "Hmm.," Jacen mumbled, deep in thought.  
  
"What's that mean?"  
  
"Just thinking. I'm a little worried about her. I'm sensing something's wrong, but I don't think she'd let on if there were. Anakin was her best friend. They were inseparable. Heck, she was almost like a part of our family. If she's not bonding with anyone else, well. that concerns me."  
  
Jaina narrowed her gaze. "What are you going to do?"  
  
"Just be available," he explained. "Let her know she has a friend. We all need a good friend, and since everyone except me has duties right now, I figure that friend will be. me."  
  
Jaina snorted at his lopsided grin. "Lucky girl," she teased before clobbering him with a pillow. 


	4. Chapter 4

You Get Me-Chapter 4  
  
He was following her--- again.  
  
It wasn't that Tahiri could feel him approaching through the Force. No, it was simpler than that. She could hear his heavy footsteps as they padded up the corridor behind her. Sighing inwardly, she refused to stop, even when he called her name. Instead, she continued on into the dining hall wishing he'd just go away and leave her alone. For the past week he'd been practically stalking her. Every time she turned around, there he was. at meals, in the training room, even in the local library, a place she'd been using as a get away for the past few months. Life on the planet of Mon Calamari, the current capital of the Galactic Alliance, was too full of people. Studying in the library helped to balance out her life between the ruthless daily workouts she put herself through and the peaceful solitude she'd grown to crave ever since.  
  
Ever since Anakin had died.  
  
Increasing her pace, she managed to put more distance between herself and Jacen, enough so that he would have to push his way through several people to catch up with her in the food service line. Taking a tray, she hurriedly made her way down the line, taking fewer items than she normally would have. Curiosity got the best of her, and she couldn't resist a quick glance to see if he was still in pursuit. Peering around the Mon Cal beside her, she was met by the smiling face of Jacen Solo five people down the line. He offered her a friendly little wave, and she snapped her gaze away with a jerk.  
  
She sighed again, annoyed at his undaunting persistence, yet strangely amused at the same time--- something she hadn't felt in a long time. Surely, he had better things to do than baby-sit her, and it was clear that's exactly what he was doing. Until he had returned, she had been able to stay under everyone else's radar, making them believe she was well over Anakin's passing. She had nearly convinced herself that she was okay, too, until Jacen showed up. He had some kind of second sense about her inner workings, and he was just enough like his younger brother to bring the memories flooding back, and with it, the pain.  
  
Quickly, she paid the cashier droid and preceded to find a seat at an empty table in the large, open eating area. Glancing up at the transparent ceiling, she still felt queasy every time she came here. It didn't seem natural for a girl from the dry, sandy planet of Tatooine to be eating under water. Luckily, most of the time she didn't have to think about being submerged under the ocean, but here the ceiling of the dining hall was made of a transparisteel dome so that diners could enjoy the view of Mon Cal's wide variety of marine life.  
  
With a shudder, she returned to the food on her plate.  
  
"Credit for your thoughts," Jacen offered as he slipped into the seat across from Tahiri. She glanced up to find the Jedi smiling warmly at her. It was amazing how grown up he looked now, she noted.  
  
"No thoughts," she replied and then stabbed a fork into something fishy and pink. Avoiding eye contact with him was a necessity. He was way too perceptive for her comfort.  
  
"Oh, I don't believe that," he argued. "Why, there's steam coming out of your ears from all the brain activity happening inside your head."  
  
Tahiri simply glowered at him. Did she dare tell him the steam was a result of the anger at being followed around all the time?  
  
"Now, that's not a very happy face, Tahiri. Did I say the wrong thing?" Jacen was trying the innocent act she'd seen his father try so often on his mother. and it was extremely annoying. She sat her fork down and took a deep breath.  
  
"Look, Jacen," she began, "I know what you're doing, and really, you don't have to bother."  
  
His goofy smile was gone, a more serious expression taking its place, and suddenly she sensed waves of strength rolling off of him. "And what exactly am I doing that I don't have to do?"  
  
So, he was going to do this the hard way.  
  
Tahiri sighed heavily and gathered her thoughts. "You're baby-sitting me. Every time I turn around, you're right there, following me like I'm not capable of taking care of myself. I'm surprised you haven't jumped out of my refresher yet!"  
  
Jacen covered his mouth and tried to stifle a chuckle, which only served to irritate the young blond even more.  
  
"I'm not a kid anymore, Jacen. I don't need to be looked after like a child."  
  
He straightened in his chair and wiped the smile off of his face. "You're right, Tahiri. You're not a kid, and truly, I wasn't trying to act like your baby-sitter. I'm just concerned about you, that's all. You're part of our family, and---."  
  
"No, I'm not," she interrupted firmly. "I'm not part of your family."  
  
Jacen instantly felt the pain behind her words, words that really said, "I could have been a part. before Anakin died, but not now." At that moment, he knew that his suspicions had been correct. Tahiri hadn't worked through her grief. Not at all. And keeping all of that bitterness bottled up inside would only lead her down a path she'd later regret.  
  
"Well, whether you think you are or not, the rest of us look at you as one of us. We all care about you and want you to be happy."  
  
Tahiri laughed out loud and the coldness of it sent a chill down Jacen's spine. "Happy?" she asked unable to hide her frustration. "Happy?! And how would you suggest I do that, oh wise one?" She snorted and shook her head. "You have no idea."  
  
Jacen's hand shot out and covered one of hers. "Yes, I do know. And if you let me, I could help you."  
  
Tahiri pulled her hand out from underneath his large one and thrust her chin in the air. "I don't need your help. I'm perfectly fine."  
  
Jacen held her gaze for a few silent moments, studying her face, especially her eyes. He could see them begin to glisten with tears, which she was fighting bravely to prevent. She wasn't yet ready to let it all go, and so Jacen relented.  
  
"Tahiri, you're not fine. You and I both know it." She opened her mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to stop her. "I know you're in pain from all that's happened--- your capture by the Vong, Anakin's death." He noticed a tear escape and trickle lazily down her cheek at the mention of his brother's name and almost stopped. But it would do her no good if he gave up now. "I've experienced those same things and more, but I've learned that holding on to that pain won't do you any good. You've got to learn to deal with it, get over it, and move on to make yourself a better person or else it was all for naught."  
  
He stood to go and she refused to look at him. "When you're ready to stop suffering, I'll be here to help. All you have to do is ask." He waited for just a second, hoping she'd respond, but instead she stared blankly out the wall at a passing fish.  
  
Then he turned and left her more alone than she'd been in months. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next few days passed by and Tahiri saw no trace of Jacen anywhere. However, instead of feeling relieved, she was surprised to feel a little miffed. Deciding he must not have been as concerned about her as he implied, Tahiri slunk back into her usual routine. After a restless night's sleep, she'd get up early, shower, go to the training room and push herself past the point of all sensibility, clean up, grab some breakfast and then head to the library for some peace and quiet. Most evenings she'd spend alone in her room or sometimes strolling around the city.  
  
One afternoon after she returned from the library, a message was waiting for her from Jaina Solo. She wanted to get together for dinner and just catch up since she had been gone on a mission for several days with Twin Suns Squadron. Tahiri accepted. The company would be nice for a change, and besides. she had to eat anyway.  
  
They met in a small café Jaina had heard about from another pilot, and Tahiri was pleased to find the place did not serve any seafood whatsoever.  
  
"If I have to eat one more piece of fish, I think I'll throw up!" she exclaimed as she and Jaina were led to a small table.  
  
"Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm dying to have a good nerf steak, and this place is supposed to have the best."  
  
They settled in and took a look at the menu. In just a few moments, the waiter returned to take their order and bring them drinks. Tahiri realized as she sipped her beverage that Jaina was staring at her.  
  
Jaina plopped her elbows on the table and asked bluntly, "Are you okay?"  
  
A bit taken aback, it took Tahiri a few seconds to answer. "I'm-I'm fine."  
  
Jaina scrutinized the younger girl's response, trying to get a good read on her. "Are you sure?"  
  
"Jaina, I'm fine, really. Why--- why do you ask?"  
  
Jaina sighed and leaned back in her chair shaking her head. "I don't know. It's just that Jacen has it in his head that you might not be. you know. over Anakin."  
  
Tahiri froze and her heart lodged instantly in her throat. When would it stop hurting so badly every time she heard that name?  
  
"I'm sorry, Tahiri," Jaina offered. "I didn't mean to upset you, which I've apparently done a bang up job of. Jacen's just worried about you. You're almost like a sister to us, you know, and we just want you to be okay." Jaina took Tahiri's silence as the end of that conversation and decided to start a new one. "All right. Enough of that. Do you want to hear about my last mission?"  
  
Tahiri nodded her head and smiled weakly encouraging Jaina to continue, which she eagerly did. After a few minutes of Jaina's story, Tahiri tuned her out and began thinking about what Jaina had said about Jacen. Why was he so concerned about her? Why couldn't he just leave her alone like everyone else had done? He was sticking his nose where it didn't belong, and now it seemed he was bringing Jaina into it as well. Would he never be out of her life?  
  
". and then Jag and I shot down the whole squadron of coralskippers and." Jaina continued to ramble, and Tahiri continued to nod every once in a while. But if the truth were told, she couldn't wait to get back to her room away from other people.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`  
  
Dinner was not as good as she had hoped. Perhaps it was the pre-meal conversation that had embittered the taste. The rest of the night was a bit strained, at least on Tahiri's end. She wasn't sure if Jaina even sensed her discomfort or not, she was so absorbed in sharing the latest relationship news between herself and Jagged Fel. Tahiri thought he was a little dry and stuffy, but he seemed to make Jaina happy which was all that really mattered she supposed.  
  
She turned out her lights and crawled into bed, burrowing under her covers. After growing up on a desert planet with two suns, every other place seemed too cold for her liking. Using the Force, she tried to calm herself and stop thinking about dinner and Jacen. and Anakin.  
  
Anakin. He was always somewhere in there, hiding out in the back of her mind and corners of her heart. It wouldn't take much of a trigger to shoot him to the forefront either. At first, the good memories came. when they first met. when he came to rescue her from Yavin 4. when he kissed her in the locker for the first time. But as her mind cycled through the good reminisces, her heart would start to constrict because she knew what the next image would be. There he was fighting the Vong in order to protect the rest of the strike team, and then. then he was just gone, his body merely an empty shell.  
  
She tried to stop herself, but the sobs came anyway just like they always did, her only consolation being the fact that no one else could see her like this.  
  
Some time later, she wasn't sure how long; she felt a light touch against her cheek and brushed it away. It came again, almost like a whisper in her ear and she flopped over to her other side.  
  
"Tahiri."  
  
She paused to listen without opening her eyes.  
  
Silence.  
  
She snuggled back into her pillow and let her mind begin to drift back to sleep.  
  
"Tahiri."  
  
Her eyes popped open. Did I just hear my name? she wondered as she lay frozen in her bed.  
  
"Are you going to wake up?"  
  
That voice!  
  
She sat bolt upright and gasped. Sitting at the end of her bed was Anakin-- - or was it? He was smiling at her, his brown hair hanging down in front of his eyes like it always did, but something was different. All around him, an ethereal blue aura shimmered making him appear otherworldly. Was he real? She had had so many dreams over the past year that she didn't know the difference anymore.  
  
"Anakin?" she asked warily.  
  
"Have you forgotten what I looked like already?" he responded with a grin.  
  
"Anakin? Are you real?" she asked again reaching out as if to touch him, her heart racing with the possibilities.  
  
"Yes," he answered, "and no."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
He stood and walked over to her small desk. "I mean exactly what I say."  
  
"Well, that really clears things up for me," she retorted, and he chuckled.  
  
"Still got your sense of humor. That's good."  
  
Now Tahiri stood up, still hesitant to get too close afraid if she touched him he'd suddenly disappear. For a dream, this was the most realistic one she'd had so far and she didn't want it to end. "Anakin," she ventured, "what--- what are you doing here? And how did you get here? Aren't you. dead?"  
  
"I have something to show you," he stated moving toward her door. "Come with me."  
  
She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "Where?"  
  
Anakin smiled. "Just come with me, Tahiri." He motioned for her to follow. Then he waved his hand, opening the door magically, and took off down the corridor. She paused for just a moment wondering whether to play along with this vision or simply crawl back into bed and pull the covers over her head.  
  
She decided to follow.  
  
Anakin, if indeed it was he or his ghost, was already at the end of the hall waiting for her. "Hurry up, slow poke!" he goaded. "I have something important to show you."  
  
He led her through several dimly lit corridors, and she was concentrating so hard on keeping up with Anakin that she soon realized she had no idea where she was anymore. "Anakin, where are you taking me?"  
  
"So many questions," he called back over his shoulder. "Just trust me. It's for your own good."  
  
He picked up the pace and she had to break into a trot to keep up with him. After a few more minutes of travel in which she strangely passed no one else, he stopped in front of a door. "Here we are," he announced. Then the door slid open and he walked inside. Tahiri paused and peered into the room. It was dark except for the light emanating from Anakin. "Come in."  
  
She looked up and down the hallway before stepping into the room. Anakin was standing there smiling at her, his arms crossed against his chest. She couldn't see anything unless it was in his immediate vicinity, so she walked straight toward him. Just as she stepped to within inches of him, his image began to dissipate, breaking into millions of tiny shards of light, and then he was gone.  
  
"Nooooo!!" she cried falling to her knees.  
  
"Tahiri?"  
  
Ignoring the voice, she sobbed uncontrollably into her hands, not even noticing the strong arms that moved to embrace her.  
  
"Tahiri? What--- what are you doing here?" Her hands were pulled away from her face and she looked up into the eyes of someone familiar.  
  
"Jacen?" she choked out in between sobs. "He was here. He was right here!" she sputtered before breaking down again. Jacen pulled her tightly against his chest, rocking her back and forth.  
  
"It's going to be okay, Tahiri," he assured her. "You're going to be okay. I promise. I promise." 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5-  
  
"Now," Jacen urged softly, smoothing back Tahiri's short-cropped blond hair, "tell me what this is all about."  
  
Her body trembled as she tried to cease her crying, and he waited patiently for the sniffling to ebb. In a few moments, she pulled back and wiped her nose with a handkerchief Jacen had retrieved moments before from his small dresser.  
  
"Thanks," she muttered with a small smile. She situated her legs into a crossed position on the floor in front of Jacen, and he did the same. She remained quiet and simply stared down at her hands lying in her lap.  
  
"Tahiri," Jacen tried again, "I think I deserve to know how you ended up here in my room crying your eyes out in the middle of the night, don't you?"  
  
Daring a glance up into his face, she instantly felt like a little child who was caught trying to hide a secret. His brown eyes bored into hers until she knew she would have to answer him.  
  
"I-I saw him. He led me here," she said.  
  
"Who? Who led you here?"  
  
She swallowed hard and stared at him knowing he'd never believe her. Oh, well, she decided, here it goes anyway.  
  
"Anakin," she stated plainly. She waited for the shock and disbelief to erupt into a mocking laugh, but it never happened. Instead Jacen's face morphed into a very serious scowl as he sincerely contemplated her response.  
  
"What exactly do you mean 'Anakin'?" he questioned.  
  
Did he actually believe her?  
  
"Um, I saw Anakin in my room. He-he woke me up, and then he brought me. here."  
  
Jacen looked around the room; the serious look still etched on his face, as if searching for any sign of his younger brother. "Tell me exactly what you saw." For some reason, Tahiri didn't hesitate to explain all that had occurred.  
  
"He looked real. solid, you know? But there was this blue light surrounding him, so I don't know if he was actually there in front of me. I don't know, maybe I was just dreaming again, hoping that he was coming back." She paused and looked up at Jacen. He was listening intently to her every word, no sign of disbelief yet evident on his face.  
  
"Did he say anything to you? Anything at all?"  
  
She hesitated for a moment before nodding her head. "I asked him if he was real and he said 'yes and no'. Then he told me he had something to show me, something that was for my own good. Next thing I know, I'm here, in your room, and he just. just disappeared." A lump formed instantly in her throat as she fought back another round of tears desperate to escape.  
  
Jacen grabbed her hand and squeezed it gently, reassuring her with a warm smile. "Am I going crazy, Jacen?" she asked wiping a tear from the corner of her eye.  
  
"No, no," he said squeezing her hand more tightly. "You're not crazy, Tahiri, not unless I'm crazy, too."  
  
"What do you mean? Did you see him?" she questioned anxiously.  
  
"Not just now, but I have seen him before. on Coruscant."  
  
"You did?"  
  
"More than once, as a matter of fact," he added.  
  
"Was he real? When you saw him, was he for real?" she asked hopefully.  
  
"Yes. and no," he chuckled. "He was real to me at that particular moment, but was he real like we are?" He sighed deeply. "Not exactly."  
  
Tahiri pulled her hand from Jacen's and shook her head in confusion. "I don't understand. Why? How?"  
  
"I don't know how," Jacen attempted to explain. "I have no idea how it is possible, other than the fact that Uncle Luke was able to see his father, Obi-Wan Kenobi, and Yoda even after they were dead to this life. Perhaps that is what we saw. a Force vision.  
  
"The why," he pondered, "actually, I might have a theory on that. if you'd care to listen."  
  
Tahiri nodded in agreement. "Okay."  
  
Jacen shifted to get more comfortable and then started to share his hypothesis. He knew she might not like what he had to say.  
  
"If it was really Anakin, maybe his appearing to us was truly for our own good. When I saw him on Coruscant, I was ready to give up hope. Seeing him gave me the push I needed to keep living. Perhaps he's still looking out for you from wherever he is, and his appearance was to give you the push you need to move on. Or maybe he was just a manifestation of what is in our own hearts. our own deep desires taking shape, telling us what we already know to be true and necessary. Either way, the purpose is the same. It's time to let go, Tahiri."  
  
She frowned and bowed her head, biting back the flash of anger engulfing her upon hearing Jacen's words. How dare he tell her to let go!  
  
"I know you don't want to hear that message, do you?" he asked. She raised her head and glared at him. He continued. "But you need to hear it. You might have fooled everyone else into thinking you've gotten past Anakin's death, but you can't fool me. I've been in the same position, been through many similar experiences that you have, and I learned the hard way that you have to go on. Acknowledge the pain, accept the pain, and then put it behind you. He's gone, Tahiri, and he's not coming back."  
  
She jumped up and took a defiant stance. "Don't even!! You have no idea how I feel! You don't know me, and you don't understand what Anakin and I had! You couldn't! You've never loved someone like I love him!"  
  
She was shouting and crying at the same time, lashing out at Jacen, not realizing she was really fighting her own pain. He stood up and took a step toward her, offering her his hand in an attempt to calm her down. She jerked away, fire flashing in her green eyes.  
  
"Don't touch me! And how dare you tell me to forget about him! He was your brother, for Force sake! How can you say such a thing?!" Jacen simply let her go on, knowing it was exactly what she needed to do. "I won't forget about him! I won't give up, and I won't go on." Her heated tirade quickly lost steam and her shoulders slumped. "I can't," she admitted softly, "I can't go on, Jacen. I don't know how." She looked up at him, tears once again filling her eyes, and he swiftly took her back into his arms offering the comfort she so desperately craved.  
  
Burying her head into his strong chest, she sobbed weakly, wrapping her arms around his waist. He held her tightly, transferring a rush of peace to her through the Force. In a few moments, she began to calm, but wasn't in a hurry to leave his arms. It was a safe haven she hadn't known she desired. Finally, he spoke.  
  
"Let me help you, Tahiri," he offered sincerely.  
  
She sniffed and stepped back. Looking up into his face, she found she could fight the pain alone no longer. He was right. It was time to move on. Tahiri nodded once.  
  
"Okay," she answered quietly. "Help me." 


	6. Chapter 5b

Chapter 5b-  
  
Jacen Solo braced his arm against the wall of the shower and let the steamy, hot water cascade over his tired body. The heat and pressure helped relieve some of the tension that had built up in his muscles. The night had been a long one and very unexpected. He replayed its events over in his mind again.  
  
He'd gone to bed at a normal time, had no trouble getting to sleep. Then as if appearing from nowhere, Tahiri had woken him with a cry. How she had gotten into his locked room was still a mystery unless he chose to believe her story about Anakin's ghostly apparition. And he did believe her. One look at her and no one could doubt her sincerity that she in deed did see Anakin Solo.  
  
Broken, she had fallen into Jacen's arms, crying until she could cry no more, finally admitting she needed help to work through her grief. It had been a breakthrough, one he welcomed without hesitation.  
  
They talked for a while longer until she could barely keep her eyes open.  
  
"Why don't you try to get some sleep," Jacen suggested with his arm around her shoulders. "We can continue tomorrow when we're both a little more rested."  
  
"No!" she protested, shocking him with her firm reply. "I mean I'm okay. I don't need any sleep."  
  
Jacen chuckled. "Tahiri, you're ready to fall down right this very minute. You need some rest, and I'm not taking no for an answer," he asserted.  
  
She paused to glare at him and then plopped down on his bed in surrender. Glancing up at him, she looked like a frightened little child. "Jacen, I'm- I'm scared. I'm afraid to go back there. afraid to sleep. Sometimes my dreams are, well, I just don't want to go."  
  
Jacen stood there and studied her weary face, so young and yet so old, and his heart yearned to comfort her. Sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her, he took her hand in his. "Okay. You don't have to go. You can stay here, but you have to rest." He cut off her argument before she could get a word out of her mouth. "I'll help you sleep. How does that sound?"  
  
Slowly, she nodded her head. "Okay."  
  
"All right then. Why don't you lie back on the pillow and close your eyes." She shot him a suspicious look and he laughed. "Trust me. This will work."  
  
She did as he ordered even though it felt a bit strange having his brother's girlfriend lying in his bed. However, her fear of returning to her room alone and to the recurring nightmares she often must have far outweighed any apprehension she felt. Jacen scooted up along the edge to be closer to her.  
  
"Now, try to relax and don't block me out. You've got to work with me for this to be successful." She flinched when Jacen's fingertips touched her temples, but she forced herself to do as he asked. "Take slow even breaths," he said softly, "and just focus on resting."  
  
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, willing herself to calm. The feel of her face was surprisingly soft to his touch, and the last thing she said was, "I don't know if this is going to work."  
  
He stifled a snicker, not wanting to wake her. Well, that didn't take long, he thought. Now to ensure that she'd be able to sleep in peace.  
  
Jacen closed his own eyes and breathed in deeply as he delved into her mind. At first, he encountered a bit of resistance until he offered a reassuring brush through the Force. As he purged deeper into her thoughts, he found things he had expected would exist: sadness over Anakin's death, anger at the Yuuzhan Vong for their attempted shaping of her, fear of it all happening again. He saw flashes of her memories from childhood with the Tusken Raiders, when she first went to the Jedi Academy, when she first met Anakin. With each memory, he also felt the emotions that were so securely tethered to each one. It was as if he was watching her life play out like a holovid in his own mind.  
  
He braced himself as the scenes escalated toward what was surely the climax of her life. Anakin's death. He 'watched' as she and Anakin escaped the enemy on Yavin 4 after her horrible capture by the Vong shapers. Jacen felt her confusion as she struggled to rediscover her true self amidst the many false memories that had been implanted in her mind. He felt her hatred as she swiftly and effectively decapitated the enemy culprit who had stolen her mental innocence.  
  
Next, came a respite from the negative emotions as Jacen saw images of his own brother flash before him from her mind. He could feel the happiness, the concern, the love the two shared, and it nearly overwhelmed him when her thoughts jumped immediately to when she had last seen Anakin alive. His heart was sick with grief upon reliving that awful event, and he didn't know if it was only coming from her or also mingling with his own pain. Either way, this was ground zero-the main leash holding her back from the future that could be. Here is where he would focus his efforts.  
  
Jacen used the Force to extract some of her pain and bear it upon himself. It wouldn't be gone forever. No, she would still have to work through all of her issues, but at least he could give her several hours of peace from her turmoil. He felt his shoulders begin to tense from the weight of her sorrow, and yet he continued. He would do this for her. for his brother.  
  
Suddenly, he jerked his hands away from Tahiri's face and jumped up from the bedside, his heart pounding wildly. The last few thoughts he had 'viewed' had been quite unexpected. At first it had been a feeling of utter contentment coming from her memories of Anakin and the few kisses they had shared. Jacen almost felt like an intruder upon such private thoughts, but didn't really have time to because the next memory shocked him beyond his imaginings.  
  
'I hate him,' Tahiri thought.  
  
She didn't even have to say a name. Somehow Jacen knew it was he she was directing her anger toward. To know she felt so strongly against him was a bit sobering, and he needed to contemplate how to handle it. As he inhaled deeply again another thought sprang into his mind, only this one was his own memory and not Tahiri's.  
  
'Take her, Jacen,' Anakin had said. 'Kiss Tahiri for me.'  
  
How could I have forgotten? Jacen wondered as his gaze traveled back to the sleeping form on his bed. Amid all of the chaos of that terrible time, the memory of his brother's last request had been lost-- until now. The truth was, Anakin's words left him more shaken than Tahiri's. He knew she was just lashing out because of her pain and obviously was already getting past that feeling by letting him help her. However, his little brother's words were an all-together different story.  
  
Jacen paced back and forth along his bedside, stopping intermittently to glance back at Tahiri. She looked so peaceful, her long lashes gracing her unblemished cheeks. For the first time she didn't look like just another kid. Knowing now all she'd gone through in her life, Jacen would never see her in the same way again.  
  
He flipped off the water switch and shook out his wet hair. He stepped out of the stall and grabbed a dry towel, his mind still reeling from his experience. He pulled on his pants and walked back into his bedroom to retrieve his shirt when he noticed Tahiri stirring on the bed. Slowly, her eyes opened and she propped herself up on her elbows.  
  
"Good morning," Jacen offered as he slipped his shirt over his head and stretched it into place. "Did you sleep well?" he asked with a friendly smile.  
  
"What time is it?" she muttered sleepily.  
  
"Morning," he answered, walking over to his window and raising the blind to let the sun in. She shielded her eyes and groaned. "Not a morning person, huh?"  
  
"Not really," she admitted. She threw back the cover, slung her legs over the side of the bed, then stood and stretched out the kinks in her neck. "Did you get any sleep?"  
  
"A little," Jacen said glancing down to the rumpled blanket and pillow lying in the floor. "You hungry? Why don't we go get some breakfast?"  
  
Tahiri frowned as her hand came up to her disheveled head. "I think I need to clean up first."  
  
"Sure. I'll walk you back to your room, if you like. You can get a shower and then we'll get something to eat before we start."  
  
Her eyebrow lifted in confusion. "Start? Start what?"  
  
"Working through this pain together," Jacen explained. "I said I'd help, and I won't go back on my word."  
  
She blushed and looked away. "Oh, that," she mumbled. "You know, I think I feel fine now, Jacen. And surely you have something better to do with your time than spend it worrying about me."  
  
"Don't be ridiculous." He moved in close beside her and placed his hand on her back. "Now, time's wasting so let's go."  
  
She smiled slightly and he followed her out the door. 'This should be an interesting day,' he thought. As he watched her walking ahead of him, Anakin's words kept repeating in his mind.  
  
'Take her, Jacen. Kiss Tahiri for me.' 


	7. chapter 6

You Get Me-Chapter 6 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
For the first time in a long time, Tahiri was actually looking forward to a new day. She felt like she had been drifting in some kind of emotional limbo for so long that this glimmer of hope was like a drop of water to her thirsty soul. It wasn't that she expected Jacen Solo to work a miracle for her, but just the idea that he was taking time out for her helped to ease some of the pain she'd been wallowing in for the past year.  
  
Looking around her room now made last night's 'visit' by Anakin's ghost seem like it never happened.  
  
Ghost?--- Is that what he had been? Or was it as Jacen said?-a manifestation of her own heart's needs and desires. She chuckled and shook her head. If it was her own desires, then why in the world did she lead herself to Jacen?  
  
Her eyes shot to the door. Jacen was waiting patiently on the other side, ready to begin-but begin what exactly, Tahiri had no clue. Part of her was frightened, unwilling to confront the very pain she'd been clinging to, while another part of her-one that had been forced to hide since the entrance of the Vong into her life-was anxious at the prospect of the unknown and unpredictable future.  
  
Quickly, she jumped in the shower; then hurriedly dressed in a pair of black pants and a tan-colored tank. Glancing only briefly in the mirror to ruffle her still damp hair into place over her Vong mark, she grabbed a jacket and left the room. When the door opened, she found Jacen leaning against the wall, his eyes closed and a peaceful look on his face. A tiny grin escaped his lips.  
  
"That was fast," he stated, opening his eyes and standing up straight.  
  
"Were you sleeping?" Tahiri asked.  
  
"No, no-just meditating while I had the chance," he explained. "I find the older I get, the more I need it."  
  
Tahiri laughed out loud. "Oh, yeah, you're so old, Jacen Solo."  
  
His grin widened but then the expression on his face grew more serious. "Maybe not chronologically, but I think we're both mature beyond our years. Don't you?"  
  
"Um," the statement took her by surprise and she stammered out a response. "I guess you're right."  
  
Jacen sensed her uneasiness and knew he needed to take it slow. Tahiri tried to put forth a tough front, but he knew deep inside she was as fragile as a delicate shadowmoth.  
  
"You hungry? Because I'm starving!" he exclaimed. His move worked. He felt the tension leave her as she smiled and nodded her head in agreement. "Great! I know this neat little place."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Breakfast had been delicious. It was as if her taste buds had awakened from a long hibernation. Every bite tasted better than the one before it.  
  
Jacen had taken control of the conversation, a fact she appreciated. The topic eventually turned to Anakin, which Tahiri had expected would happen sooner or later. However, after the initial stab of pain in her gut, it gradually ebbed away, partly due to the stories Jacen was sharing. They were all good memories he had of his younger brother while they were growing up. Tales of trouble they had either caused or found themselves smack dab in the middle of-stories of their relentless aggravation of poor C3PO, of teasing Jaina until she ran to their parents crying. Jacen quickly added that it didn't take long for their sister to figure out all the advantages of being 'daddy's little princess'.  
  
"My rear end still smarts from those memories," he admitted with a chuckle. "Dad always did like her best." He was rewarded with Tahiri's laughter from across the table.  
  
"I didn't realize he was such a little troublemaker," she said.  
  
"Yeah, well, I was usually the brains behind the mayhem. He usually just came along for the ride."  
  
Tahiri grew silent and Jacen was afraid she was going to block him out. Then she surprised him.  
  
"He looked up to you, you know," she said looking him straight in the eye. Those were words he hadn't expected to hear. Jacen was speechless as he gazed into her bright green eyes. Funny how he'd never noticed quite how green they were before now. "It's true," she continued. "He used to tell me about how he couldn't wait until he could be off doing great things like you. I know you had some problems with each other right before--- right before he. died--- but, he still loved you."  
  
"I-I know he did," Jacen replied, "and I loved him, too. Thank you, though, for reminding me how much." Now Tahiri was at a loss for words, so Jacen continued. "Tahiri, you knew a side of Anakin that I didn't. I hope that you'll share some of your memories of him with me someday. when you're ready."  
  
She offered a quick little grin and then returned her attention to the food on her plate. Jacen took another bite of his breakfast and contemplated his next move.  
  
"I'd like you to show me what you do every day," he stated after swallowing.  
  
Tahiri pushed her plate away and smirked at him. "Shouldn't you know that already seeing as how you were spying on me just a few days ago?"  
  
He snickered. "Good point," he conceded. "But this time I won't be skulking around in the shadows."  
  
Again, she laughed out loud, and he found he liked to see her smiling. Her whole face seemed to light up, and he could see why his brother had been attracted to her. She was pretty, in a sweet and natural kind of way. really cute.  
  
"Okay," she agreed. "But only if you can keep up with my busy routine. First up is a workout." She stood up and looked down at him in his chair. "Ready to sweat?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	8. Chapter 78

~*~You Get Me~*~ Chapter 8 (I'm losing track!)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Jacen Solo was impressed.  
  
For someone so young, he contemplated, Tahiri was really pushing herself to the limit both physically and intellectually. She had shown him her daily workout routine, which was rigorous and demanding even by a Jedi's standards, and then taken him to the local library to reveal her 'private studies'. Again, he was surprised to find her so involved in furthering her mind just as well as her body.  
  
As they walked out of the library into the streets of the bustling Mon Calamari city, Jacen glanced at her and shook his head in amazement.  
  
"Wow," he stated simply.  
  
"What?" she replied self-consciously with a wrinkle of her nose.  
  
"I just never expected you to." He stammered to find the right words.  
  
"Never expected me to what? Be into studying?"  
  
"Yeah, well, that and your stiff workouts. You do that every single day?" he asked skeptically.  
  
Tahiri halted as they came to a street corner and stuffed her hands into her pants pockets. "Yes. Is that really so hard to believe? Did you think I just sat around all day doing nothing?"  
  
Jacen chuckled. "I guess I don't know what I thought. I didn't know you were in to astronomy."  
  
"Danni Quee gave me a few suggestions when I asked her some questions about her inventions. We talked for a bit and she gave me some ideas. She's pretty cool."  
  
"Yeah, she's a neat person," Jacen agreed. "I'm glad you're becoming acquainted with good people like her." The signal changed and they began to cross the street. When they got to the other side, Tahiri frowned and slowed her pace.  
  
"And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"  
  
Jacen stopped and turned back to look at her. "Hmm?"  
  
"There you go again, acting like you're my parent or something. Like I can't do anything without your approval."  
  
Jacen was taken aback by her sudden shift in mood. "Tahiri, I'm not trying to act like your parent. And of course you don't need my approval for anything. I was only saying that you, and everyone else, need as many friends as you can get, and Danni's a good choice. That's all," he assured her. "Now smooth down those ruffled feathers. I like you better when you're kicking my butt on the practice floor." He offered her a famous Solo grin and that seemed to calm her down.  
  
They continued on down the street in silence for several blocks, neither one quite sure what to think of this new friendship that was being formed. Jacen felt confident that he was on the right track with Tahiri-that she indeed needed a good friend to help her face the pain in her life. He was also certain that he was the man for the job. He was doing it for his brother, Anakin, and for Tahiri, as well. She was still a kid and needed someone older and more mature to help guide her through this difficult time.  
  
That's right, he told himself. She's a kid and I'll simply be her mentor. That's all. But of course, he couldn't help remembering Anakin's words back on the worldship all those months ago. What exactly had Anakin meant? The 'kiss her' part was fairly self-explanatory, but it was the 'take her' part that left Jacen in a quandary. Surely he had meant just to take care of her. not to actually--- No. He wouldn't even think of that possibility. No way could Anakin have meant for Jacen to have Tahiri as his girlfriend or whatever one chose to call it. She was too young and not even his type. not that he even knew what his type was. He hadn't had much time lately for romantic 'entanglements'.  
  
"So how old are you now?" he asked, startling Tahiri out of her quiet ponderings.  
  
"Um, I just turned seventeen."  
  
"Oh," he replied, filing it away for future reference. So she wasn't that young.  
  
They had dinner together at their regular dining hall, conversation becoming increasingly more comfortable as time passed. Even though Tahiri wasn't yet ready to share her memories of Anakin with Jacen, it helped her to hear more of his. How lucky was Jacen, she thought, to have lived his whole life with Anakin. She'd only been granted a few years, but it was plenty of time to realize how special he had been. She felt herself begin to slip back into a somber mood, but fought against it.  
  
Jacen noticed that throughout the course of his story about one of he and his siblings' many kidnapping ordeals Tahiri had stopped listening. No longer was she looking at him, anticipating the next event in his incredible tale with those twinkling green eyes of hers. Now she was staring down at her plate, pushing her food from one side to the other, taking a token bite every once in a while. He felt her retreating within herself and wanted to stop it.  
  
Tahiri jounced back into her chair with a small yelp. The tiny, squishy grilled crustacean on her plate had just jumped up and smacked her on the nose before plopping back onto the plate.  
  
Jacen tried to choke back his laughter but couldn't. Tahiri glanced over to see him snickering behind his hand, a twinkle of mischief gleaming in his brown eyes. He could feel her glare and it only made him laugh harder.  
  
"Sorry," he managed to offer. "You were just looking too serious over there." Tahiri nearly jumped again when he reached across the table and used his napkin to wipe the tip of her nose. "You've got a little bit of. stuff. there.. sorry!" he offered again.  
  
"And who's the younger one here?" she finally asked teasingly, letting him off the hook.  
  
"Good point," he admitted with a snort. After clearing his throat he decided to share a thought with Tahiri. "I've got an idea, if you're interested."  
  
She leaned her elbows on the table and placed her chin in her hands. "Shoot," she urged.  
  
"Whenever I'm down and discouraged with myself and my place in life, there's something that always makes me feel better." He paused to study her reaction up to that point.  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Well, after spending the day with you, I've come to realize that you focus a lot of your time and energy on yourself."  
  
Tahiri felt her 'wall of attitude' begin to go up between them. "You're saying I'm selfish?" she asked, feeling her nostrils flare slightly.  
  
"No! No. it's just that most of your time is spent on things just for you, which isn't necessarily bad, but when you happen to be less than overjoyed, it can make your life seem twice as bad as it really is." He hoped this was coming out right.  
  
Tahiri sighed and leaned back in her chair. "And I assume you have the cure for me, Dr. Solo?"  
  
He narrowed his gaze and stared at her for a moment before replying. "Maybe. You need to get the focus off of yourself and your own pain and put it to good use."  
  
"Putting pain to good use, eh?" she chuckled. "Sounds interesting. And how do you propose I do that?"  
  
Jacen grinned that grin again and said, "Meet me here tomorrow and you'll find out." Then he stood up, grabbed his tray, shot her a knowing wink and walked away. Tahiri simply watched him until he was out of sight.  
  
"Man, is he annoying!" she declared. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
To Be Continued. 


	9. Chapter 9

~* You Get Me *~  
  
Chapter 9-  
  
"I think that's a wonderful idea, Jacen," Leia declared, a hint of maternal pride shining on her now softly wrinkled face. Despite her advancing years, Jacen still thought his mother to be one of the most beautiful women alive, and he knew his father felt the same. Jacen smiled back, grateful for the close relationship he shared with his mother. In so many ways he admired her and identified with her on more levels than he and his father ever would.  
  
"Thanks, Mom. I was hoping you would agree--- because I need your help," he added cautiously.  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" teased Han Solo from across the room. He was reclining comfortably in his most recent acquisition--- a body-fitting lounge chair guaranteed to mold to any form offering the best seat anywhere in the galaxy--- or so the advertisements raved. According to Han, however, the verdict was still out. He thought it needed a few more 'test runs' before he could say for certain.  
  
"Oh, Han!" Leia scolded.  
  
"It's okay, Mom," Jacen assured her with Solo grin. "What I need doesn't require money and it won't put anyone in danger."  
  
Han continued leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. "Well, kid, as long as it doesn't require my getting out of this chair, it's yours."  
  
Leia cast a knowing grin over to Jacen as she clasped his hand in hers and then said, "He's all talk, dear. Now, what is it you need?"  
  
Jacen proceeded to explain his plan and their part in it, and although Han's eyes remained closed, he knew his father would be carefully weighing his every word.  
  
"And all I need from you is security clearance into the camp," he finished, slapping his hands on his knees and heaving a sigh.  
  
A brief silence followed as Leia pondered her son's request. "Is that all?"  
  
"I think so," Jacen answered with a shrug. "Once we get into the camp, I believe Tahiri's mind will automatically switch its focus from her pain to something more constructive."  
  
Leia smiled warmly again and squeezed her son's hand. "Consider it done. I'll have your passes by tomorrow morning. You know, I'm proud of you for taking the time to help Tahiri. She's such a sweet girl. Anakin was crazy about her, I know. In some ways I think his death touched her more deeply than the rest of us, if that's possible." She ceased talking, and her gaze drifted away as if she was seeing something that wasn't there.  
  
"Yeah, she's a good kid," added Han, eyes now open and slightly glistening with unshed tears. "I kind of think of her as one of our own. I just wish she'd put on some shoes," he stated to the amusement of the other two.  
  
~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~***~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
  
Tahiri glanced around the bustling dock and shielded her eyes from the bright sun. 'Where is he?' she wondered as she continued to search for Jacen among the crowds of people passing her by. His call late last night had told her to meet him at the sea dock the next day without any hint of where they were going or what they were going to do. It was a little frightening and exciting at the same time. She trusted Jacen enough to know he wouldn't place her in danger, but she didn't know him well enough to predict his next move.  
  
A smile erupted involuntarily on her face as she spotted him coming towards her, and she waved. He was grinning widely, his sun-streaked hair mussed from the pleasant ocean breeze sweeping in from across the waves. Today he had changed his attire from the typical tan Jedi tunics to a thin white shirt similar to one she'd often seen his father wear and a pair of snug- fitting black pants. Not that she noticed how well his clothes fit, but she did notice several females pause to take notice of his attractive figure, and it almost made her proud to know he was hers.  
  
'No! Not mine!' she scolded herself quickly, lowering her head and her hand. 'I didn't mean it that way,' she tried to explain to herself. She merely found it amusing so many women found him handsome, yet he wasn't even paying them one iota of attention. Yes. That was it.  
  
"Hey! You're right on time," he announced as he finally arrived by her side still smiling warmly. "Punctuality is a virtue."  
  
"Well, I learned my lessons well at the academy. After pulling clean up duty in the mess hall a couple of times, punctuality suddenly became a priority."  
  
He laughed and Tahiri felt herself smile again. "Been there, done that," he said with a nod and a smirk. "So, are you ready for this?" he asked.  
  
"It might help to know what I need to be ready for," she replied hoping he would elaborate on the day's plans, but he didn't. He just stood there with that same smug grin on his face until she finally shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, well, I didn't think you would give anymore clues, but I thought I'd give it a try."  
  
"I'll give you an 'A' for effort, Tahiri," he teased. "But it's really no mystery. I told you that what you needed was to get your mind off of your pain and put it to good use--- and that's exactly what we're going to do today." He grabbed her arm and looped it through his offering a reassuring pat on her hand. "Just trust me. Okay?"  
  
Tahiri looked up into his warm brown eyes and felt a tiny twinge of something unidentifiable in her heart. For the life of her, she couldn't stop staring at him. "I trust you," she said softly, wishing she hadn't sounded so foolish to her own ears.  
  
"Good!" he stated, patting her hand once again. "Let's be on our way then. Our water speeder awaits just over there." He gestured with his free hand towards a small vehicle parked on the water and began to move in that direction. However, he found his progress soon halted by Tahiri. She had frozen in place and a look of nausea-- or was it fright?-shone on her face. "Tahiri? What's wrong?" Jacen was looking at her in concern, and it made her feel all the more a fool. "Tell me," he coaxed gently.  
  
She swallowed nervously before glancing from the water to Jacen's worried face. "I-uh, I don't really like water," she admitted in embarrassment. She looked away from his studying gaze but continued to feel his eyes upon her. His chuckle caused her to jerk her eyes back to him, and a flash of indignation rose in her gut. "You're laughing at me!" she accused, ripping her arm from around his and stepping back to offer her best glare.  
  
"No--- no," he tried to reassure her. "I just wasn't expecting that particular explanation."  
  
"Well," she huffed, "in case you had forgotten, I did grow up on Tatooine, a planet without water. It's just not natural to be surrounded by it, if you ask me."  
  
Jacen laughed out loud again as her arms crossed and her nostrils flared. "Stop laughing at me!" she insisted, but it only encouraged him more. Finally, she softened and let her arms drop to her sides.  
  
"Tahiri, there is nothing to fear from the sea. We will only be riding on top of the waves, not underneath them. And if you fall in, I know how to swim. I'll rescue you. You have my oath as a Jedi." He crossed his heart and offered a sincere smile. He noted her hesitant glances back and forth between the water and himself as if she were weighing his devotion against her own fears. "Trust me," he reiterated tenderly taking her arm once again.  
  
Tahiri offered a weak smile and let him lead her to the water speeder. "Okay. I'll trust you, but if I drown, I'm taking you with me."  
  
Jacen laughed again and shot her another roguish grin. "Well, then, I'm going to have to teach you how to swim."  
  
She snapped her head up to look at him in disbelief. Was he serious? He winked and then helped her into the vehicle. With effortless grace he jumped in and lowered himself into the seat beside her. "Better buckle up. This might be a bumpy ride!"  
  
And with that, he throttled up and the speeder shot out of the dock like a rocket, leaving Tahiri pinned to the back of the seat unable to move. She wasn't for certain, but she could almost swear she heard Jacen laughing over the roar of the engine as the speeder skipped across the choppy waves. 


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10-  
  
"Here we are!" Jacen announced after gliding the water speeder softly into the docking bay. He unclipped his safety restraint and then glanced over at his passenger. All of the color had drained from her face and her knuckles were white from gripping the side of the speeder with all of her might.  
  
"Tahiri?" he asked in concern. "Are you okay?"  
  
A tiny groan escaped her lips. "I think I'm going to be sick," she stated plainly. She quickly struggled with one hand to unclip her restraint, while the other hand shot up to cover her mouth. Jacen watched in confusion, not sure what he should do. As soon as the click of her restraint sounded, she threw her head over the side and proceeded to ease the churning that had been rumbling in her stomach since the start of the trip.  
  
Jacen winced and then stifled a chuckle. He was just becoming acquainted with Tahiri's temper and knew laughing at her in her present condition would not be a wise choice. Instead, he fished around in his pack and came up with a bottle of water and a small cloth.  
  
In a moment, Tahiri settled back into her seat with another groan.  
  
"Here," Jacen said as he offered the two items to her. She glanced at the bottle and then up at him.  
  
"Oh goody. More water. Just what I wanted."  
  
Jacen couldn't help but laugh out loud this time. "Just take a few sips. It will help settle your stomach."  
  
She stared at him for a minute before he nudged the bottle into her hand. With a defeated sigh, Tahiri took a few drinks and then wiped her mouth. "Sorry about that," she apologized sheepishly, returning the water and cloth to Jacen.  
  
"Don't be. I guess I shouldn't have assumed you'd like water travel. Anyway, are you able to keep going, or should I take you back home?"  
  
Tahiri shot him a look to kill. "You mean go back the way we came? Right now? No way, buster! I'll keep going. Maybe by the time we're finished doing whatever you have planned, I will have worked up the courage to get back in this boat."  
  
Jacen helped her out of the speeder and onto the pier. She tried to take a few steps, but her legs felt like jelly and she stumbled. Luckily, Jacen was right there. He slipped one hand around her back and grabbed her arm with his other.  
  
"Whoa there! It might take you a few minutes to get your land legs back. Let me hold onto you until you can walk without looking drunk."  
  
Tahiri glanced up at him and was ready with a snide comeback but the words lodged in her throat. Jacen was grinning at her, devilment dancing in his rich, brown eyes, the sun splaying across his rugged tan face making him appear heart-meltingly handsome. Why hadn't she ever noticed how attractive he was before today? While Anakin had been tall and lean, Jacen was broader in the shoulders, his body more filled out.  
  
'I wonder what Anakin would have looked like at Jacen's age?' she thought suddenly, and it sobered her wayward ponderings. She quickly pulled away from Jacen and steadied herself, refusing to have any more such thoughts about Jacen Solo. He was Anakin's brother, for Force sake! Anakin. the only one she loved and would ever love.  
  
Jacen's expression was quizzical, but he didn't push his assistance on her. He was learning that Tahiri was a very independent personality, and he'd get nowhere by forcing her to accept his help. No, he was going to have to take a softer, sneakier, cleverer approach. He intended to help her before she even realized what he had done.  
  
"I'm-I'm okay now," she insisted, a little more weakly than she'd wanted. Fighting against the dizziness spinning in her head, she took a few more steps on her own. She began to stumble again and Jacen fought the urge to catch her. She'd never go for that, so instead he used the Force to right her this time. Pausing only to straighten her shirt, she soon started walking again.  
  
Jacen watched her from behind and had to admit, he rather admired her. Even after being dealt blows in her life that would have caused others to pack it in and call it quits, she remained tough and determined. Yes, the more he got to know Tahiri Veila, the more he understood Anakin's attraction to her. She was kind of cute when that fire flashed in her twinkling, green eyes.  
  
'Take her, Jacen.'  
  
The voice came out of nowhere and froze him in place.  
  
"Are you coming?" she asked over her shoulder, wondering what was taking him so long.  
  
Jacen snapped himself out of his thoughts and caught up to her in just a few strides. A nagging feeling at the back of his mind warned him that maybe he was in over his head on this one, but being a Solo, he was never one to worry about the odds. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"What is this place?" Tahiri asked apprehensively as she surveyed the myriad tents and protable shelters constructed as far as the eye could see. Jacen watched the expression on her face and could feel her hesitancy pulsating in the Force.  
  
"It's a refugee camp," he explained. "One of several here on Mon Calamari. Unfortunately, there are thousands more like it across the galaxy. So many people have been displaced throughout the war, forced to leave their homes, their way of life, and- in many cases- their families. This camp may not look like much, but to all of these people it's the only hope they have right now."  
  
Tahiri looked to her left and saw a gathering of disheveled humans seated in a circle in front of a tent, a cook fire in their midst burning steadily. To her right she saw a similar scene, only these people were a race she could not identify. All around her, people from all walks of life were engaged in the tasks of everyday survival, some young, some old, some in between. It was a sobering experience and she instantly felt guilty for wasting so much time wallowing in her own self-pity while all of these people were just trying to survive another day.  
  
"Ah, you must be Jacen Solo. I can see your father in you."  
  
Tahiri halted her observations of the camp and turned her attention to the person who had just greeted them. It was a female Mon Cal, shorter than both she and Jacen, her rubbery skin a beautiful shade of coral and violet. She thrust her hand toward Jacen in a welcome, and he shook it warmly.  
  
"I am Tanghal. Your mother told me you would be coming."  
  
"You know my mother?" Jacen asked, sincerely interested in her story. He was forever finding out new things about his parents-most of it not too terribly disturbing.  
  
"Yes," Tanghal said with a blink of her large, bulbous eyes and a hint of amusement in her gravelly voice. "I worked in the Senate back before she was made Chief of State. Mon Mothma was still in charge then."  
  
"You said I looked like my father. You know him as well?" Jacen inquired.  
  
What passed for a chuckle wiggled the tendrils on Tanghal's chin. "Yes. I don't think Han Solo is a man easily forgotten. I was on Coruscant when he kidnapped Leia to keep her from marrying that Hapan prince. It caused quite the scandal, you know."  
  
"My father, cause a scandal? Surely you jest," Jacen replied with a feigned look of disbelief. "Remind me to ask you about that later. It would be interesting to hear an objective version of that story." He glanced at Tahiri and cast her a quick wink, causing her stomach to do a strange little flip. "But, I'm afraid that is not why we are here today, Tanghal." He moved closer to Tahiri and placed a reassuring hand on her back. "Allow me to introduce my good friend, Tahiri Veila. She and I are here to assist you in any way we can."  
  
Tahiri didn't even pay attention as she greeted the Mon Cal and shook her hand. She was too busy replaying Jacen's voice over and over in her mind.  
  
Friend. My good friend, he had said to be exact. She smiled at the warmth those simple words intoned and admitted to herself that she liked being Jacen's friend. very much. Right now a friend was exactly what she needed in her life.  
  
Tanghal, who was apparently in charge of the camp's operations, continued to chat with Jacen as Tahiri tagged along behind. She showed him the headquarters building, the medical tent, and other important locations he might need to know and also introduced him to the heads of the various work teams. Finally, Tanghal finished her introductions and left to pursue her other duties.  
  
Jacen took a deep breath and then turned to face Tahiri. "So, where do you want to start?"  
  
Tahiri stumbled over her words. While she should have been listening to Tanghal's explanation of the camp's needs, she had been thinking about her newfound friendship with Jacen. Scolding herself for being so silly, she tried to cover her blunder.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. What do you think we should do first?"  
  
He ran a hand through his typically mussed hair and sighed. "Well, Tanghal mentioned several things. We could start with the construction crew, or go help out at the food distribution tent, or the med tent, or the-"  
  
"Okay! Okay! I get the point!" Tahiri interrupted with a smirk. "Food sounds easy enough. Let's start there."  
  
Jacen offered her a smile that warmed her from the inside out. She was finding his limitless compassion and sense of humor to be a balm for her wounded spirit. Being around him was soothing and comforting. He radiated safety and kindness unlike any other person she had ever known. even Anakin, she admitted, surprising even herself.  
  
She instantly recalled the talks she'd had with Anakin about the disagreements he and Jacen had concerning the use of the Force. Both were men of action, but in entirely different ways. Anakin had cared for others, only he wanted to use the Force to eliminate those who would cause harm. To a girl of fourteen, his had seemed the best, most effective method. However, Jacen, she was discovering, was also a man of action, but only after weighing the odds and determining that action was truly needed. He preferred to help and to heal in order to cause change. Maybe it was disrespectful to Anakin's memory, but part of her was beginning to agree with Jacen's perspective. If people kept lashing out in an attempt to exact revenge or justice, then when would it ever stop? It would become an endless cycle of violence and hurt. She'd had enough of both.  
  
She looked over to Jacen walking beside her. He felt her gaze upon him and turned to look at her, smiling once again, totally oblivious to the fact that he was knocking down her carefully constructed walls with each grin. Yes, Tahiri admitted, she was ready to heal. 


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11-  
  
The day flew by quickly from that point on. After starting out distributing food around the camp, Jacen and Tahiri moved on to help the construction crew build additional shelters and then ended up in the medical tent to finish out the day.  
  
"I don't know how you managed to hammer your finger, Tahiri," Jacen declared with a shake of his head. "You'd been working like wildfire up until then."  
  
Yeah, she thought. Up until Jacen had gotten too hot and felt the need to pull off his shirt. Her mouth immediately went dry as the image of him standing bare-chested on top of that roof, sunlight glinting off of his well-muscled back popped back into her mind. Pounding her finger was the least of her problems. If not for a quick save by the Force, she would have fallen off the roof, too!  
  
"Um, I don't know what happened either. Just got a little tired, I suppose," she replied, watching as he tenderly bandaged her with the gentleness she had come to expect and enjoy.  
  
"Well, there you go!" he finally exclaimed as he took a step back and admired his handiwork. "I don't think I'll give any real doctors or nurses a run for their money, but it'll do. So, are you ready to go home?"  
  
He offered her a hand up from the cot and pulled her to her feet. "Looks like you got some sun today," he added as he lightly tapped her sunburned nose with his strong finger.  
  
"Ow!" she said wrinkling up her nose. "I'm going to pay for this tomorrow."  
  
Jacen smiled and then turned to put the first aid supplies back in their proper place. "You've been great today, Tahiri. A lot of girls would have balked at having their first date be a heavy work detail, but you worked harder than most of the men, and I didn't hear you complain once."  
  
Date? Did he say 'date'? she wondered. Calm down, Tahiri. You're reading too much into things.  
  
"But then, you did happen to get a few strange looks when that Vong curse slipped out," he laughed. "Luckily, I was the only person who knew what it meant. Those construction guys would have blushed if they knew what you were really saying."  
  
Tahiri turned red and looked at the floor. "Sorry about that."  
  
"Don't be. I'm sure when that hammer made contact with your finger, more than that one curse went through your head."  
  
Tahiri smiled, enjoying Jacen's light-hearted teasing. He somehow knew just how to put her at ease.  
  
"Let's go," he said offering her his arm. "And I hope you can make it home without hurling in my lap!"  
  
With a tiny gasp if indignation, Tahiri punched him playfully in the arm not at all surprised by the hardness of his muscle.  
  
"Ouch!" he yelled. "Guess I deserved that."  
  
"Yes, you did," Tahiri stated firmly before looping her arm back through his. "And I promise not to puke in your lap." He glanced down into her face and for just a second their gazes connected and something flashed between them. Jacen quickly looked away a bit shaken by what he saw in her eyes.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Their walk back to the water speeder seemed to take forever. Jacen could feel the awkwardness between them, but had no idea how to alleviate it. So he kept quiet. The thoughts wreaking havoc in his mind kept him busy enough.  
  
He should be happy. Bringing Tahiri to the refugee camp had had the exact outcome he'd been hoping for. She'd been too busy helping others to worry about her own sadness, and he had to admit that he had enjoyed watching her today. She wasn't afraid of hard work, of doing what had to be done. And when she turned those amazing green eyes on him and smiled her gorgeous smile with that little dimple on the side, he felt a little weak in the knees.  
  
He forced those feelings back into their hidden place in his heart. She was just a friend in need. his dead brother's girlfriend. Of course, she was beautiful. The Solo men had great taste in women, but he didn't feel he had the right to look at her in that way. But the more time he spent with her, the harder it was to distance himself from such thoughts.  
  
Yep, he thought. You're in over your head, Solo.  
  
They got into the speeder, buckled up, and Jacen started the engine. He glanced over and saw Tahiri taking a deep breath, readying herself for their journey back across the sea.  
  
"You okay?" he asked.  
  
"I'm fine," she replied with a forced smile. "I already promised I wouldn't throw up this time, and I keep my promises. I'll just look at it as another challenge."  
  
"Ah. Tahiri the Conquerer."  
  
She glared at him. "Are you making fun of me, Solo?"  
  
There it was-that fire in her eyes. It sparked something in him, too. "Never, Miss Veila. I'd be too afraid to oppose you. There's no doubt I'd lose." He offered her a playful wink and then mashed the accelerator to the floor and they zoomed off. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
As Jacen guided the speeder into the dock just as the sun was setting completely, he ventured another glance over at Tahiri. She'd been awfully quiet for the last stretch of this trip and he found out why. She was asleep. Her head was tilted slightly towards him and in the faint lights of the harbor he could just make out her delicate features. That ever so slightly turned up nose, those long lashes, her perfectly shaped mouth. Her short blond hair was mussed, as usual, and he carefully moved a strand of it away from her sweet face. When she was sleeping, it was easy to forget all she had been through, all the pain she'd endured, all the hurt she'd been forced to feel. He just wanted to make it all go away.  
  
'Take her, Jacen. Kiss Tahiri for me.'  
  
He immediately pulled his hand away from her and took several deep breaths. What was he thinking?  
  
"Are we home?" came her groggy voice.  
  
"Um, yeah," he replied as he busied himself with unbuckling his safety restraint. For some reason, it wasn't cooperating and he felt himself becoming annoyed.  
  
"Here. Let me help," she said easily unclipping her own belt. She leaned over Jacen and he began to protest.  
  
"I-I can do it," he asserted. She was far too close for comfort.  
  
"Don't be silly. Let me help you." She gazed into his brown eyes and saw something new in their depths. Then she hurriedly unclipped his restraint and scrambled back into her seat.  
  
"Thanks," he muttered weakly, both glad and sad that she was no longer so near to him.  
  
Jacen returned the speeder to the dock office and then walked her home. Once outside her door, they both felt the awkward silence envelop them again.  
  
"Did you have a good day?" he finally asked.  
  
"Yes. yes, I did actually. It felt good to be helping those people. Thank you for taking me."  
  
"No problem," he replied. "I'm going back tomorrow. If you're up for it, I'd love to have you with me again."  
  
Tahiri fought down the huge smile that was dying to spread across her face. "I think I'd like that, Jacen."  
  
He let go a breath he didn't even realize he'd been holding and grinned. "Great. I'll pick you up in the morning then."  
  
"Okay. Goodnight," she said softly.  
  
"Goodnight, Tahiri," he replied and then he turned to leave.  
  
"But, Jacen," she called after him. He turned back to face her in the middle of the corridor. "Tomorrow, I get to drive."  
  
He chuckled. "You're on!" Then he spun around and left, a little spring in his step. 


	12. Chapter 12

You Get Me-  
  
Tahiri's life settled into a new routine over the next few weeks and she liked it. After a reduced morning workout, she would meet Jacen at the dock and they put in a full day's work at the refugee camp. In the evenings they might get a quick bite to eat before she left to study at the library.  
  
By now, she had performed just about every duty possible in the camp, but found that her favorite was delivering food and supplies to the elderly refugees unable to do much for themselves. This surprised her. Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined the joy and satisfaction chatting with these more 'experienced' people would bring her.  
  
During her first days in the camp, Tahiri had mostly kept to herself, not talking or mingling with anyone except Jacen. Force knew he was doing enough of that for the both of them! He talked, comforted, and laughed with nearly every person he met. The more time she spent with Jacen the more she liked his personality. Another surprise. Several years ago she had pictured him as a sullen, spoiled brat who thought too much and cared only about himself. But now, as she watched him move and work in the camp, she saw a Jacen who was so open and warm to everyone he came in contact with.  
  
That part of him reminded Tahiri of his Uncle Luke who was also very unassuming and accepting of others. Other times, such as when he mediated disagreements between quarreling refugees, he reminded her of his mother, ever the diplomat. And then there were those rare instances when she could swear he was Han Solo incarnate. Not only was Jacen built like his father physically, but she was coming to find he had a witty sense of humor and a penchant for teasing. And when he winked at her and flashed that grin that had been transplanted right from Han's face to his, Tahiri couldn't help but love being with him.  
  
However, that wasn't a feeling she was comfortable with.  
  
Along with the happiness that came from being friends with Jacen and working with the refugees came guilt-guilt for living life and liking it while Anakin would never again have that opportunity. Should she be enjoying life so much? She didn't have that answer, and so confusion was taking root in her soul.  
  
"Something interesting out there?"  
  
The question jarred Tahiri out of her inner reflection and she turned to look at the old woman lying on the small cot across from her. Glancing back outside of the open tent flap, she noticed, with a bit of disappointment, that Jacen had moved out of her line of sight.  
  
"I'm sorry, E'marta," Tahiri apologized and scooted her chair closer to the bedside. "My mind drifts off like that sometimes."  
  
The old woman smiled. "Mine would too if I had something that handsome to 'drift' off to."  
  
Tahiri blushed and realized E'marta had known exactly what she'd been staring at. She quickly tried to change the subject. "I don't know what you're talking about. Here, let me get you a glass of water." The young Jedi rose and moved to get a drink for her new friend feeling the woman's gaze locked on her the whole time. When she returned to the bed with a glass, E'marta took it into her gnarled hands and sipped slowly, never taking her eyes from Tahiri.  
  
"These old eyes might be failing me, but I can still 'see' something as obvious as you and that young man out there." Tahiri started to object, but E'marta cut her off. "I was young once, you know. And believe it or not, I know a little about romance." The old woman had leaned forward and whispered her last line in a conspiratorial whisper before offering a quick wink.  
  
Tahiri shook her head and settled back into her chair. "There is no romance, E'marta. Jacen and I are just friends. That's it."  
  
"Friends, eh? Well, now, that's how my husband and I started off. It didn't take too long to 'develop' into something else." E'marta wiggled her eyebrows and smiled forcing Tahiri to smile back. Despite her wrinkled face and silver hair, Tahiri could tell that E'marta had once been a beautiful woman.  
  
"I thought your marriage was arranged by your parents and that you didn't even see your husband until your wedding day," Tahiri countered.  
  
"Oh, no. That was my first marriage, dear." A far off look appeared in E'marta's face as she recalled memories of her past. "Ah, I was so young then-barely eighteen and still naïve enough to think that it was romantic to marry a mysterious stranger." She snorted.  
  
Tahiri chuckled. She had grown quite fond of the old woman and her endless stories over the last few weeks. Not knowing much about her own family, Tahiri had taken a liking to the grandmotherly figure of E'marta, looking forward to her daily visits.  
  
"But that's a story for another time," E'marta added patting Tahiri's hard. "I've told you enough about me. Now it's only fair I get to hear about you. How did you end up here spending all your time talking to a crazy, old woman like me?"  
  
Tahiri paused for a moment to think of what to say next. There weren't many people who cared to ask her about her life. Anakin had listened as she told him her story, but she couldn't remember if he had actually asked to hear it. Then there was Jacen. It seemed he was always asking her questions, some of which she answered freely and some that she preferred to keep to herself.  
  
Now there was E'marta smiling kindly at Tahiri encouraging her to talk, something Tahiri used to enjoy-something she had forgotten she enjoyed since Anakin's death. And so she talked, telling the old woman what she remembered from her childhood-living with the Tusken Raiders, being taken to the Jedi Academy, meeting Anakin and Master Ikrit.  
  
"You like this Anakin boy, yes?" E'marta asked innocently. Tahiri's heart instantly constricted like a clenched fist and she held back the tears.  
  
"Yes," she stated softly, "or at least I used to-I still do-oh, I don't know." E'marta looked at her in confusion. "He was Jacen's younger brother," she added for clarification.  
  
The old woman's eyes immediately showed her understanding. "You said 'was'. Is he gone now?"  
  
Tahiri nodded and dropped her head, and E'marta patted her hand tenderly.  
  
"It hurts to lose someone you love, and I don't think it ever really stops completely no matter what people say. There's always that 'what if' question popping up in the back of your mind. What if I hadn't done this or what if I hadn't said that? Would it have made a difference? I felt it when my third husband passed away suddenly and still have moments of sorrow from time to time. But you could drive yourself crazy with all of that stuff. No, you've got to move on. Don't forget them, but keep living. Your Anakin would want that, my child."  
  
Tahiri looked into the woman's graying eyes full of compassion-eyes that had see their share of hardship and happiness-eyes of a woman that had lived and loved just like her. The young Jedi smiled appreciatively and laid her free hand on top of E'marta's offering a friendly squeeze.  
  
"You're right, E'marta. He would want me to keep living."  
  
"Hello, ladies."  
  
Both women turned to the entryway to see Jacen entering with a big smile. He was sweaty, his hair disheveled as usual and curling up on the ends and his sleeveless shirt sticking to his chest. Somehow, though, he managed to look very masculine. Tahiri looked away, fighting back the blush she could feel warming her cheeks. E'marta didn't shy away, however.  
  
"Well, hello there, handsome!" she greeted with a big grin.  
  
"You're looking beautiful today as always, E'marta," Jacen said coming over and placing a chivalrous kiss on the old woman's wrinkled hand.  
  
"I prettied myself up for you, you scoundrel you! If I could get up from this bed, I'd chase you until you caught me," E'marta declared with a twinkle in her eye.  
  
Jacen's brow raised and a sly grin tilted the corner of his mouth. "Well, I'm sure it would be well worth the effort, my lady." Then he offered her a little bow before turning his attention to Tahiri. "Are you ready to leave? Mom and Dad wanted us to come for dinner tonight if you're interested."  
  
"Of course she's interested," E'marta interjected. Both Jacen and Tahiri looked at the woman in surprise. "Aren't you, dear?"  
  
Tahiri stumbled over her words trying to answer. "I, uh, I, um, yeah, sure. Dinner sounds great." 


	13. Chapter 13

Jacen dropped Tahiri off at her room so she could shower before dinner with his family. After putting in a full day's work at Camp Hope, as the refugees now called it, she was desperate to wash the sweat and grime off of her tired body. As she dried herself off and slipped into clean clothes, her mind began to ponder the recent changes in her life. Working at the camp had given her a new purpose, a new direction to travel in life, and she had Jacen to thank for that. She actually felt alive again, like she had something to offer the universe and that she wanted what it had to offer in return.  
  
Smiling was becoming a rediscovered habit, especially when she was around E'marta. It may have seemed strange to someone else, but Tahiri rather admired the old woman. Her resolve and strength to keep on enjoying life despite its hardships were an example the young Jedi had determined to follow. The woman had lost nearly everyone she'd ever cared about and still maintained a positive outlook on life. Tahiri had also lost some of those close to her, had shared some of that grief with E'marta who was quick to give her heartfelt advice.  
  
"There will be plenty of sorrow in this life, child," the old woman said. "You'll most likely lose many precious friends by the time you reach my age, but one thing I've learned is that when one goes away, he'll be replaced with another, often better than the first. You just need to make sure your eyes are open so you can recognize him when he shows up."  
  
E'marta's words still resonated in Tahiri's mind days later and, as she brushed out her hair in front of the mirror, she wondered if Anakin's 'replacement'-so to speak-was closer than she realized. Jacen had been the first thing to pop into Tahiri's mind when E'marta had shared her words of wisdom. Even now, she found herself periodically slipping into silent contemplation about him, often while in his company. A few times he had asked what she was thinking about to which she quickly responded with something silly like "dinner". Then he would laugh, and she would have to force herself not to stare at him.  
  
It was becoming a little unnerving how attracted she was to him. Once or twice she'd even had the wild urge to jump on him, throw him down on the ground, and press her lips and entire body firmly to his. It was almost a primal, animalistic stirring that she fought fiercely to tamp down. Her only explanation was that it was somehow connected to her Vong self-that set of traits belonging to Riina Kwaad, not Tahiri Veila. But even so, the thought of making such a bold move did have its appeal and had kept her company on several long, restless nights.  
  
Tahiri laughed out loud at her own ridiculousness. 'Oh, to see the look on Jacen Solo's face if I ever dared!' she mused.  
  
Instantly, the memory of her first kiss with Anakin flashed in her mind and the laughter ceased. A wet blanket of guilt wrapped around her heart and an uncomfortable lump lodged in her throat.  
  
'How dare I think such thoughts!' she scolded herself. 'And about Anakin's brother no less! What is wrong with me? I love Anakin.'  
  
'But he's gone,' a voice whispered in her mind. 'He's gone and you're still here-alive-so live.'  
  
She frowned. This debate was getting old, and she was tiring of the confusion it left behind. So instead of continuing the argument, she finished her hair and headed for dinner with the Solos.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"It's really amazing the change in her," Jacen explained while helping his mother set the table. His sister, Jaina, listened in from the kitchen as he continued to describe the progress of his latest 'project'. "At first she was really quiet and kept to herself at the camp, but now she knows everyone there and has developed quite a friendship with one of the invalids, a real sweet old lady. I'm sure you'll be able to see the difference tonight at dinner."  
  
Leia paused and smiled warmly at her son who now towered over her. He had always had such a compassionate nature, something she had feared the Vong would force out of him, only now after all he'd been through she was certain his concern for others was even stronger than ever.  
  
"I'm sure we will, honey. You've been good for Tahiri. When you're going through something so tragic as the loss of a loved one, it's important not to cut yourself off from the people who care about you."  
  
"Yeah, kid. Listen to your mother. She knows what she's talking about," Han interjected from his comfy seat in the other room.  
  
Leia rolled her eyes. "Well, it would have been nice if you would have listened to that bit of advice a few years ago-darling."  
  
Jacen waited for his father's response wondering if he would snap back. Even Jaina had stepped out of the kitchen in expectation of the certain fireworks, but they were all mistaken because Han simply acted like he hadn't even heard Leia's last comment. 'Perhaps he is finally learning after all of these years,' Leia thought with a chuckle.  
  
Her attention returned to Jacen. "Well, I'm proud of you, dear, for taking the time to befriend Tahiri. Anakin would have appreciated it." She placed a small hand on his cheek and gazed at him with motherly admiration.  
  
"Thanks, Mom. It's the least I could do after all Anakin did for me and after all Tahiri's been through. She's really a neat kid."  
  
At this, Jaina stuck her head out of the kitchen again and snorted causing Jacen and Leia to stare at her.  
  
"Kid?" Jaina exclaimed. "She's not exactly a kid, Jacen-or hadn't you noticed?" She delighted in the blush that creeped across his face.  
  
Jacen suddenly felt uncomfortable as he silently answered Jaina's question in his mind. Sure he had noticed that Tahiri wasn't a child anymore, but it made it so much less complicated if he could think of her that way. Far too frequently, he was catching himself watching her, admiring her beautiful smile, her twinkling eyes, her pleasing figure. He felt his face heat up even more and knew with just a glance that Jaina had him figured out. What had started out as a friendly overture was somehow turning into something more-something he hadn't quite expected.  
  
He was seriously attracted to Tahiri Veila.  
  
And that was a problem-one he wasn't ready to deal with just yet-one, which for tonight, he would choose to ignore.  
  
Who said he never learned anything valuable from his father?  
  
"Yeah, well, I, uh, didn't mean that she was a little kid, but you know.," he stammered. Jaina crossed her arms and cocked a single eyebrow not buying his pathetic answer and ready to fire another interesting question his way when the door buzzer sounded. A look of total relief spread across Jacen's face and Jaina frowned.  
  
"Saved by the bell," he murmured and then took off to answer the sound.  
  
'Later, brother dear,' Jaina sent him through the Force determined to get the information she wanted. For now she'd have to wait.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Han Solo wasn't a genius.  
  
At least not by the usual standards, but it didn't take a genius to see what was right in front of his face. He just wondered if anyone else saw it. Leia was busy worrying about dinner, Luke and Mara were fussing over Ben, and all of Jaina's attention was solely on the dashing young Colonel Fel. Perhaps, Han thought, I'm the only one who's noticing the sparks between Jacen and Tahiri. They obviously didn't realize it themselves.  
  
All evening long the two had tossed coversation back and forth easily between them like they'd been best friends all their lives. Jacen enjoyed the playful teasing from Tahiri and offered it back in stride. Their eyes twinkled as they shared stories of time spent with the refugees and private jokes only they two could understand. It was the most he'd heard Tahiri talk in years and biggest smile he'd ever seen on his son's face. While he'd never imagined these two would be compatible, seeing them together in action left Han with no doubt.  
  
Jacen was crazy about Tahiri and didn't even know it.  
  
It was time for a father-son talk.  
  
"That was an excellent meal, Leia," Tahiri exclaimed, smiling brightly as she rose to help clear the table.  
  
"Thank you, Tahiri. I'm learning. You know the life of a diplomat doesn't usually leave much time for cooking, but the older I get the more I appreciate the little things in life."  
  
The young Jedi followed Leia and Jaina into the kitchen, their arms full of dishes, and Han decided to take advantage of the opportunity.  
  
"Hey, Jacen, want to join your old man out on the balcony?"  
  
The strange look on his father's face told him that this was probably not something to miss, so he pushed back from his chair and followed Han outside leaving Jag with the Skywalkers.  
  
Han strolled casually to the balcony railing and leaned on his elbows staring out into the humid Mon Calamari night. The scent of saltwater wafted under his nose and he breathed in deeply trying to gain the confidence he needed. Having these parent-child chats was something he'd never quite gotten the hang of, especially with Jacen. It seemed they had always been slightly at odds with one another.  
  
Jacen joined him in staring out to sea waiting patiently for his father to speak.  
  
"So, things are going well at the camp?" Han finally asked.  
  
"Yeah, yeah they are. Thanks for asking," Jacen replied appreciatively.  
  
"Good, good," Han added before pausing awkwardly again. "And Tahiri seems to be doing better, talking more, smiling more."  
  
"Yeah, I think so, too. She's really a neat--kid once you get to know her. I can see why Anakin liked her so much."  
  
Han had to keep from rolling his eyes when Jacen used the word 'kid' again. It was the same phrase he had used before dinner and seemed to be a practiced line, probably one he'd concocted to delude himself. Han had been there before, thinking that because a female was younger meant she wasn't mature enough for the likes of him.  
  
And now he was married to her.  
  
"Well, it's great of you to make sure she doesn't get overlooked. With no other family she could have easily gotten lost in the cracks. Lucky for her you were around. She should be grateful."  
  
Han hoped his plan would work.  
  
Jacen gazed at his father in disbelief not sure how to take Han's words. "She doesn't have to thank me. I wanted to help her. It's the least she deserves. In fact, it's been my pleasure to spend time with her. Tahiri's a great friend-a super.kid."  
  
Han couldn't stifle a little chuckle, which garnered another confused expression from Jacen. "Kid?" Han restated. "Son, Tahiri may have been a kid a few years ago, but she's not one now-or hadn't you noticed?"  
  
Jacen's back stiffened and a frown furrowed his brows. "Are you and Jaina in cahoots or something? I seem to remember her asking that same question earlier tonight."  
  
Han raised an eyebrow. "And I seem to remember your same avoidance of the answer."  
  
The retort stopped cold on Jacen's lips as he realized there would be no buzzer to save him this time. Han continued to stare him down-for his own good, of course, and because he secretly enjoyed watching his son squirm just a little.  
  
"Is the question that hard, Jacen?" Han teased good naturedly.  
  
Jacen tried to stare back but finally his shoulders sagged in defeat.  
  
"No, it's not that hard of a question," he admitted. "I just-I just don't know if I'm ready to answer it yet." His head dropped and he stared down at his feet.  
  
"Fair enough," Han said easing up on the boy. "I think I understand how you're feeling."  
  
Jacen snorted. "Oh, yeah?"  
  
Han gave him a stern fatherly glare and said, "Oh, yeah."  
  
"Mind filling me in then? My brain hurts from thinking about it."  
  
"All right," Han replied slapping Jacen on the back and then heading for a lounge chair. "Sit down." Jacen sat down across from his father and felt like he was ten again.  
  
"You miss your brother."  
  
"Um, yeah, of course," Jacen agreed.  
  
"Tahiri was important to your brother so you felt an obligation to help her out. Right?"  
  
"Okay."  
  
"The problem is that you didn't intend for it to go quite so well. Now you find you kind of like her for more than a friend, but you feel guilty about it.like you're betraying your brother somehow. Is that it?"  
  
Jacen stared wide-eyed with mouth agape at Han, who upon Jacen's stunned silent response was certain he'd hit the nail on the head.  
  
"How did you--?" Jacen stammered.  
  
"Hey, I may not be as smart as your mother, but I've been from one end of the universe to the other. I've seen a lot of things, experienced a lot of things. Your old man's not totally oblivious to what's going on around him, you know." Han leaned back, his hands behind his head and legs crossed at the ankles looking every bit a scoundrel and a rogue.  
  
Jacen smiled and shook his head. "You do manage to surprise me from time to time," he added teasingly. Soon the smile was gone replaced by a more serious expression. "I just don't know what to do. I started out thinking I was going to be this wonderful 'mentor' for her, someone to guide her out of her depression over Anakin. Only somewhere along the line, she's become more than just a 'mission' to me.more than just a friend, only I'm not exactly sure what. But you're right. I feel guilty for having these feelings about her."  
  
Jacen paused and scooted his chair closer to Han's. He leaned in close and lowered his voice before continuing. "Can I tell you something private that I've never told anyone else?"  
  
Han perked up and sat up straighter in his chair. "Sure, kid." He wasn't usually the one his children shared secrets with, so this was a big deal.  
  
Jacen took a deep breath and then looked around to make sure no one else was nearby. "On Myrkr with the strike team, Anakin told me something that I've never told anyone else. Not because I was trying to hide it. Actually, I had just forgotten about it until several weeks ago. Right before he died," Jacen paused to recover from the emotional crack in his voice, "he told me to kiss her for him . to 'take' Tahiri."  
  
Jacen stopped and waited for Han's reply. The older Solo merely stared at his son, nodding his head slightly and pursing his lips together in contemplation. After several moments, Jacen grew impatient. "Dad? Do you have anything to say?"  
  
"Yeah.yeah," Han said slowly. "So, what you're telling me is that Anakin gave you his girlfriend?"  
  
"Dad! It sounds so creepy when you put it that way." Jacen paused before adding, "Do you think that's really what he meant? I've been going crazy trying to figure out if he intended me to give her a goodbye kiss for him and just see that she's taken care of, or if.if he really hoped--- you know. What do you think?" He suddenly felt very uncomfortable sitting there in the darkness of the balcony bearing his soul to his father, whom he'd never been very close to.  
  
Time changes everything, he thought to himself.  
  
Han studied his son's shadowed profile gazing up at the Mon Calamari night sky filled with millions of twinkling stars. How easy life had been years ago, before the Empire, before the Vong, before kids. He chuckled softly to himself not wanting Jacen to think he was taking this problem lightly. Anakin's death had dealt them all a heavy blow.  
  
"Well, Jacen, seems to me you've got a few different options."  
  
Jacen glanced back at his father waiting expectantly for the advice.  
  
Han explained. "You could tell her how you feel and see how she responds. Or you could just keep going on like you have been, not saying anything to Tahiri and ignoring your feelings, playing it safe."  
  
"What's the third option?" Jacen questioned.  
  
Han grinned that Solo grin and said, "Or you could kidnap her, take her to some savage, god-forsaken planet and make her marry you."  
  
It only took a second for Jacen to know exactly what his dad was referring to and he couldn't keep from laughing out loud. "I don't think I have that much nerve," he joked.  
  
"Nah, you're not that stupid, Jacen," Han added playfully. "Anyway, the way I see it, it's either tell her now or tell her later. but you'll eventually have to tell her no matter what. These types of feelings never stay hidden for long. And even though she's not a kid anymore, she's still young, so be careful with her emotions. Females are a whole different breed, son."  
  
After a few moments of quiet, the two men stood and looked each other in the eye.  
  
"Thanks, Dad," Jacen finally said.  
  
"No problem, kid. It's what I'm here for," Han replied offering Jacen a manly slap on the back. "Now let's go see what's for dessert. I'm kind of enjoying your mom's new interest in cooking, believe it or not."  
  
Jacen chuckled. "I think I'll stay out here for a few more minutes.think about those options you shared with me. You know, number three is starting to sound better and better." He winked at his father and then returned to the balcony rail.  
  
Closing his eyes, he let the cool evening sea breeze blow across his cheeks, tried to clear his mind and just enjoy the feel of the night all around him. As the Force began to flow through his body, he could feel his tensed muscles start to relax and a calm took over. Maybe things weren't as crazy as they seemed. Maybe he was making more of Anakin's words than his brother had intended. Maybe his feelings for Tahiri weren't anything more than friendship after all and he was simply reading too much into the time they had shared together.  
  
On the other hand, maybe his feelings for Tahiri were genuine and growing stronger with each passing day. Already the thought of spending a day without seeing her filled him with an unexplainable anxiety.  
  
Suddenly, a devastating thought sprung into his mind. Even if his feelings were real and he told her about them, what if she didn't feel the same? The calm instantly fled leaving Jacen with more anxiety than ever.  
  
"Jacen?" 


	14. Chapter 14

You Get Me-chapter 14 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Jacen?"  
  
He turned automatically at the sound of the feminine voice coming from the doorway and was pleased to see Tahiri walking out to join him on the balcony.  
  
"Hey," he said, trying not to let his smile get too large. He was acting ridiculous, his heart speeding up with each step she took toward him. The moonlight glinted off of her golden hair and his breath caught in his throat.  
  
'Ridiculous!' he yelled inside his head.  
  
"I wondered what happened to you," she said leaning back on the rail. "Your mom made this great cake stuff for dessert. She said it was some kind of Corellian treat Mirax Horn gave her the recipe for. Want to go in a try a piece?"  
  
Jacen tore his gaze from her face and looked back out to the ocean. "Nah. I'm pretty full from dinner."  
  
Tahiri's face fell in disappointment. "All right. I'll just go back in. You seem like you want to be alone," and she started to leave. A firm hand on her arm stopped her, and she looked up into Jacen's brown eyes.  
  
"Don't," he said softly. "Stay here with me."  
  
Something in his voice was different-soft, yet almost desperate-and she couldn't refuse. "Sure. I'll stay," she offered with a tiny smile. Jacen let his hand drop and they both returned to their spots overlooking the Mon Cal sea. A comfortable silence settled between them for several minutes before Tahiri spoke again.  
  
"Jaina invited us to go swimming with her and Jag tomorrow-if you'd like to go," she said hesitantly.  
  
Jacen chuckled. "I didn't think you knew how to swim."  
  
Tahiri dropped her head and tried to hide her slight embarrassment. "Yeah, well, someone I know told me he'd teach me how, only he's never followed through on that promise," she recovered.  
  
Jacen grinned. "You're right. I did tell you I'd teach you, didn't I? Well, I guess we'll just have to take my dear sister up on her offer then."  
  
Again the quiet came, but it wasn't at all quiet inside Jacen's head. The talk he'd had with his father kept repeating in his mind, those three options arguing their pros and cons. Of course, the idea that he kidnap her was preposterous and out of the question. However, the other two-tell her how he felt now or later-were battling it out. Postponing any revelation of his true feelings was of course appealing and would save him from any discomfort for now. But the possibility of telling her now and maybe having her in his arms in a matter of minutes was, he finally admitted, a more tempting proposition.  
  
Taking a deep breath, he turned and took her hand in his. She glanced first at their hands and then up to meet his gaze, confusion showing in her green eyes.  
  
"Tahiri, I need to tell you something," he stated, a look of urgency burning in his dark eyes.  
  
"Sure, Jacen. What is it?" He seemed so serious that it was causing her a bit of alarm.  
  
"I-I--," he stumbled. He wanted to say it so badly, but his tongue kept getting tied. Inside his heart felt like it was expanding, ready to explode at any moment if he didn't say the words he so desperately needed to share. Taking one more deep breath, he braced himself for whatever reaction she might have.  
  
"Tahiri," he began boldly, "I-"  
  
"There you two are!"  
  
Tahiri and Jacen both turned at once to see Jaina framed in the doorway. She could immediately sense through her brother that she had interrupted at a bad time, and decided it was too late to worry about it now. She would apologize later.  
  
"Come on in. Mom's got some important news."  
  
Jacen grudgingly let Tahiri's hand drop, but gave her a look that promised they'd continue this conversation later. "Guess it'll have to wait," he sighed.  
  
"Guess so," she replied, a hint of disappointment in her voice as she walked back into the apartment.  
  
Once they were all seated inside, Leia could hardly wait to share her news.  
  
"I just got off of the holo with Cal. Something wonderful is about to happen, something that could turn this war around and help us defeat the Vong." She paused dramatically for emphasis, which only annoyed her husband.  
  
"Will you just spill it already? For goodness sakes, Leia! What is it?" Han said.  
  
"Finally, after all this time and all of our problems, the Hapans are poised to join us in the fight!" she beamed. "A delegation from the cluster is scheduled to be here by the end of the week to make it official. This alliance could mean all the difference for us."  
  
Her audience looked around, everyone with smiles on their faces. They knew how important this development was in this horrible war that had taken too many of their loved ones already.  
  
"That's great, Leia," Luke remarked, bouncing Ben on his knee. "I know you've worked for this for a long time."  
  
"Yes, I have," she agreed, "and this time I think it's really going to happen. Thanks to Tenel Ka the war may soon be over."  
  
At the mention of the recently crowned Hapan queen, Jacen's eyes darted to his mother to find a smile on her face. "I thought that might get your attention, Jacen. I know how you two used to be so close. She'll be so happy to see you again!"  
  
Jacen glanced at Tahiri who had a strange look on her face, one he'd never seen her wear before, and he was sure a similar one was displayed on his own face as well.  
  
'Tenel Ka-here?' he thought. There was a time he would have done anything to be with her, but now. now the confusing feelings churning in the pit of his stomach left him unsure about everything. He hadn't seen her since Myrkr. He knew he was a different person, but what about her? How much had she changed?  
  
"I knew you'd be delighted," Leia said and then continued to ramble on. She was so busy explaining all of the details of the visit that she didn't notice the secretive look that passed between her husband and their son.  
  
Jacen looked pleadingly at his father, but Han simply shrugged letting his son know he had nothing to do with it. He caught little snatches of what Leia was saying--- there would be a meeting followed by a formal banquet to honor the Hapans' entry into the war, yada, yada, yada. There was more she said, but Jacen didn't hear it. All his mind could focus on was the fact that the girl he used to love-and maybe still did- was coming in a matter of days, and the girl he thought he might love now had no idea of how he felt.  
  
And he thought figuring out Vergere's lessons was difficult. Nothing could compare to this fiasco that was his life.  
  
In a few moments, Leia stopped talking and everyone was moving about, ready to turn in for the night. Jaina and Jag were the first to go, followed by Tahiri and then Luke and Mara. Jacen had lingered, hoping to get in another word with his father. The opportunity eventually came when Leia left to change for bed.  
  
"So, Dad," he began, "got anymore options?"  
  
Han studied his son, amazed to see how grown up Jacen had become. It seemed that only a short time ago, he had been a little tyke climbing up on Han's shoulders, asking questions he had no answers for. Well, Jacen couldn't climb on Han's shoulders anymore, but age hadn't changed his penchant for asking questions his father couldn't answer.  
  
"Well, you could always run for it."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 


	15. Chapter 15

You Get Me—chapter 12  
  
"I don't believe it!" Tahiri exclaimed as her door swished shut behind her. Instinctively, her fists balled and clenched at her sides as she surveyed her room for something to punch. The anger coursing through her veins at that exact moment nearly frightened her and she took a calming breath and released her hands.  
  
"Get a grip, Tahiri," she told herself softly, continuing to inhale and exhale at a much more peace-inducing rate. Lowering herself onto the edge of the bed, Tahiri felt the hot tears begin to pool in her eyes and fought in vain to hold them back. Finally, they escaped down her cheeks and she quickly wiped them away with the backs of her hands.  
  
What had she expected anyway? When she and Jacen had been standing under the Mon Calamari moonlight, had she really expected him to declare his undying love for her? To tell her that these past few weeks they had spent together had shown him how he couldn't live without her? Could that possibly have been what he was about to say before Jaina interrupted, beckoning them inside so that Leia's news of Tenel Ka's imminent arrival could smack her in the face?  
  
No, she answered herself with a snort. Jacen didn't love her. He couldn't--- not when the look on his face at the mention of Tenel Ka's name said more than words ever could. Anakin had told her of Jacen's longtime love for Tenel Ka, an emotion that had existed far longer than the month or so she herself had experienced with him. Whatever Jacen might possibly have been starting to feel for Tahiri, it could certainly never compare with what he felt for the present Hapan queen.  
  
Tahiri snorted again, adding a little chuckle to go along with it.  
  
A queen, for Sith's sake! How could a scruffy, half-Vong orphan ever compete with the queen of a whole star system? Easy--- she couldn't, so she wouldn't even try. Why expend energy on something hopeless?  
  
She sighed and rose to get ready for bed. As she crawled under the covers and snuggled in, a tiny little thought popped into her exhausted mind.  
  
What if he had been going to express his feelings for her? That would explain the strange look in his eyes, the gentle way he held her hand, the soft, pleading sound of his voice as he begged her to stay with him on the balcony. Maybe----  
  
No. No, it was pointless to hope--- foolish to think the two of them could ever have any kind of relationship. She should have followed her first instinct, which was to avoid any contact with him. Why, only several weeks ago she had hated him for even being alive and now here she was pining after him, wishing desperately that he needed her as much as she had come to need him.  
  
Well, no more, she resolved. She was finished needing people in her life. She had needed her parents and look what had happened. Then she had needed Anakin. And now, Jacen. But not anymore. As of this moment, she was going to be emotionally self-sufficient. Her heart was her own and it would stay nice and safe behind the impenetrable walls she would build around it.  
  
So then--- that was that. Who cared what Jacen Solo had been about to say to her? Certainly not her. She didn't need Jacen.  
  
She wouldn't need Jacen.  
  
She couldn't need Jacen.  
  
And eventually, she fell asleep.  
  
Jacen sat cross-legged on the floor of his quarters and tried one more time to meditate.  
  
"Let the Force flow through you," he said quietly, his eyes closed as he took another deep breath and tried to focus on finding a peaceful center. In the midst of some of the worst of his torture at the hands of the Vong, he had still been able to distance himself from the pain and find a calm spot in the storm raging around him. However, when the thoughts of the evening's events started creeping back into his mind, Jacen simply sighed and conceded defeat. He rose and entered the refresher, hoping a hot shower would relax him and help him get to sleep.  
  
How had things come to this point? His heart was so confused, torn between his old feelings for Tenel Ka and his burgeoning feelings for Tahiri. The mere mention of Tenel Ka's name still sent a tingle up his spine. She had been his first crush--- the first girl he had ever loved, even if it had been unrequited. She had never really returned his sentiments, always content to keep their relationship a close friendship despite his many attempts to deepen it. Then, the Yuuzhan Vong had entered the picture, and any thoughts of romance had instantly been pushed to the side as the long years of galactic war ensued.  
  
There had been those few moments during the Myrkr mission when he had a glimpse of what could possibly happen between the two of them. But then disaster struck and he had been captured. Jaina told him later how Tenel Ka had grieved for him during the time he'd been thought dead, and he had to admit that he was pleased to know of her reaction. However, he was a different person now--- no longer that boy who desperately wanted her attention at all costs, but a man who had suffered much and come out of the pain a different person.  
  
Enter Tahiri.  
  
She was equally as strong as Tenel Ka, yet so different in nearly every other way. Whereas Tenel was all seriousness, Tahiri enjoyed a bit of silliness and even laughed at his jokes from time to time. She hadn't had the advantages in life that the Hapan princess---no, queen, he corrected himself--- had benefited from. Tahiri, like himself, had endured much pain and loss and was still willing to look for the good in life. True, at first he had been hesitant to look at her as a woman, but for all intents and purposes, she was just that. And he delighted in the time he spent with her, whether they be busy working at the refugee camp or simply having a meal together. She was now a part of him--- a part he was not sure he could live without.  
  
Maybe all of this worry was for nothing. Just because Tenel Ka was coming did not mean that she was going to declare her love for him.  
  
But if she did, then what? What would he do? How would he respond? Would he jump at the chance to fulfill a teenage dream with Tenel Ka?---- or venture forward into the unknown adult world and take a chance that Tahiri wanted to join him?  
  
He turned off the water and stepped out to dry himself off. The shower had helped his body, but his mind was still a flurry of activity, and as he gazed into the mirror, the face staring back startled him.  
  
"Anakin?" he sputtered, and then spun around.  
  
"Put on some pants, man!" Anakin said. "I don't need to see that."  
  
Jacen blinked hard to make sure he wasn't dreaming and determined that he was not. It was really Anakin standing in front of him--- or rather, Anakin's glowing, blue image. He remembered seeing it on Yuuzhantar and knew from Tahiri's description that she had seen Anakin in the same form.  
  
Anakin's vision smirked as he stood with his arms crossed. "Um, Jace?--- pants, please."  
  
Jacen snapped out of his stunned stupor and quickly donned his sleep pants. Anakin had walked out into the bedroom and plopped down on Jacen's bed, and Jacen followed.  
  
"Thanks for putting on some clothes. It makes it a lot easier to talk to you," Anakin stated teasingly.  
  
Jacen chuckled. "Jealous?" he asked, relishing these few fleeting moments with his brother.  
  
"You wish!" Anakin replied. "But I didn't come here to discuss--- well, you know."  
  
"Yeah, I kind of figured that," Jacen said. "Why did you come? I haven't seen you for a while. I miss you."  
  
Anakin gazed back at his big brother and placed a hand on Jacen's shoulder. It was just a whisper of a touch, Anakin's illuminated image barely there at all.  
  
"I miss you, too, Jace." A moment of silence passed before he continued. "How's Tahiri?"  
  
Jacen started at the mention of her name, and a guilty flush crept onto his cheeks.  
  
"I know, Jacen. And you don't have to feel guilty about it. So, how is she?"  
  
Jacen cleared his throat and then responded. "She's good--- real good. We've been volunteering at a refugee camp, and it's been great for her. I think she's starting to---" Jacen stopped abruptly and looked away.  
  
"What?" Anakin asked. "Starting to get over me? Jacen, don't be ashamed to say it. That's what I want. It's what she needs--- to heal. And you're the best man for the job."  
  
Jacen stared at his younger brother and shook his head. "How did you become so wise, little brother?"  
  
"Death will do that to you, you know," Anakin joked and another silence followed. "So," he said finally, "big decisions coming up, eh?"  
  
Jacen narrowed his gaze and chuckled, amazed at the insight this apparition displayed. "Possibly--- possibly. Any words of advice?"  
  
"You asking me for advice," Anakin quipped. "Now that's something I never imagined I'd hear in my lifetime! But then, it didn't really happen during my lifetime, did it? Oh well, beggars can't be choosers.  
  
"My advice? Do what you know you should--- do what you truly want. Trust your feelings. And don't worry about mine. I think I already told you what I think back on Myrkr."  
  
Jacen perked at the mention of those quick words from Anakin's last moments.  
  
"Speaking of that, I've been wanting to ask you what exactly you meant by—"  
  
Anakin's hand immediately went up to stop Jacen from saying anymore. "You don't need me to explain. The answer is already there," he said pointing to Jacen's heart, "and there," pointing to Jacen's head. "Just don't let the chance pass you by. See ya, Jace."  
  
And with that, Anakin was gone. 


	16. Swimming Lessons

* * *

You Get Me—Chapter 16   
  
"She's not there," Jaina reported as she hopped back into the compact speeder they had rented for the day. Once she clicked in her safety restraint, she turned to Jacen who was sitting in the back seat. "Are you sure she agreed to come with us?"  
  
Jacen looked back at his sister, an expression of puzzlement on his tanned face. Just the night before, he and Tahiri had decided to take a day off from working at the refugee camp and accompany Jaina and Jagged Fel on a swimming excursion. He had promised to teach her how to swim. In fact, he was looking strangely forward to the opportunity.  
  
"Yeah--- or at least I thought so."  
  
He ran a hand back through his shaggy, brown hair. "Of course, last night got a bit chaotic what with Mom's news and all. I didn't really get a chance to verify times with Tahiri." He shrugged his shoulders, and then Jaina turned back around. Could it be that the news of Tenel Ka's upcoming visit had upset Tahiri as much as it had Jacen? He smiled. If, in fact, she had been upset, that was a good thing, right? It meant that maybe she did have feelings for him after all.  
  
But on the other hand, if she thought that Tenel Ka's arrival meant that he still---  
  
Realization dawned. He needed to see Tahiri, talk to her--- right now.  
  
"I think I know where she is," he announced. "Turn left and head towards the south side of the city."  
  
Han's words replayed in Jacen's mind. Tell her now, or tell her later.  
  
Well, maybe 'now' was------ _now_.

* * *

"Well, now. What are you doing here? I didn't think you were supposed to be here today," E'marta asked when Tahiri entered her tent.  
  
Tahiri offered a weak smile and began straightening anything she could find. "I—I missed you and couldn't stand the thought of some other volunteer honing in on my time," she joked.  
  
E'marta chuckled and slapped her hand at the air. "Oh, child. It is a common misconception among the young that we old people are as ignorant as a newborn babe, but don't you believe it. While I am quite confident in my abundant supply of personal wit and charm, I don't for one minute believe that you are here solely for my sake." The old woman stared at the young blond who was carefully avoiding eye contact. "Come sit down and tell me about dinner with your young man," she said, patting the bed next to her.  
  
"He is **not** _my_ young man!" Tahiri exclaimed vehemently, instantly regretting the transparency of her emotions.  
  
"Ah, then," E'marta continued, "that would be the problem. Come," she motioned to Tahiri, "come and tell E'marta all about it."  
  
Tahiri looked at the woman who had grown so dear to her heart, and her shoulders sagged. Not many people in her life had truly cared how she felt, and the chance to receive a bit of comfort from this kind, old woman was irresistible to Tahiri's thirsty soul. She practically ran to E'marta's side, the older woman enveloping her in a warm embrace.  
  
"There, there, my dear. Let it all out," she soothed as she rocked the girl gently in her arms. After a few minutes of crying, Tahiri pulled back and swiped the tears from her face.  
  
"I'm sorry for being such a baby," she sniffled.  
  
"Tears don't make you a child. They merely allow you to mature," E'marta explained. "Now, if you were just some kind of mamby-pamby, cry baby who burst into tears at the drop of a hat, then you'd need to be sorry."  
  
Tahiri chuckled and grabbed E'marta's warm, wrinkled hand. "Thanks. I needed that."  
  
"Well, I'm not good for much else these days, but now--- you tell me what's troubling you."  
  
Taking a few seconds to figure out where to begin, Tahiri decided to start at the beginning with her earliest memory of living with the Tusken Raiders and ending with the dinner news from the previous evening.  
  
"But, it doesn't matter anymore," she said, straightening her shoulders. "I've decided that I am no longer going to need anyone else in my life. It's for the best. Yes, as of right now I am my own emotional entity--- an island of emotional solitude. What do you think?" she asked when she finished.  
  
The old woman puckered her lips as she silently contemplated all Tahiri had shared. The Jedi started to get uncomfortable when the few seconds of silence turned into a minute--- and then another. Fearing E'marta was perhaps suddenly losing her hearing, Tahiri asked again. "E'marta? What do you think of my plan?"  
  
"Oh, goodness me!" she exclaimed. "Were you expecting me to respond? After that forceful declaration of independence, I didn't think you would 'need' _my_ opinion."  
  
Tahiri was startled by E'marta's curt reply, that is until she saw the woman's eyes twinkle and the corners of her aged mouth begin to curve up into a mischievous smile.  
  
"I guess I deserved that," Tahiri admitted shamefully. E'marta reached out and patted the younger woman's arm.  
  
"I'm only teasing you, dear. No, in theory your idea sounds perfect, for if you allow no one into your heart, then you run no risk of being heartbroken. This is true."  
  
E'marta paused and Tahiri knew there would be a 'but'. There was always a 'but' when someone older and wiser was on the verge of revealing a profound life truth.  
  
"But?" Tahiri ventured.  
  
E'marta smiled. "Bu-ut," she drew it out dramatically, "if you never need anyone, never love anyone, then are you really living?--- or just existing?"  
  
Tahiri took a few moments to absorb the full meaning of E'marta's words. Were the benefits of loving someone greater than the pain she might feel if that love was not returned?  
  
"Now, sweetie, I need to rest these old bones, so if you don't mind-"  
  
"Sure," Tahiri replied leaning over to give E'marta a hug. "Thanks again."  
  
"You're welcome, dear. Now go and find something fun and youthful to do. Then come back tomorrow and tell me all about it." E'marta smiled and then rolled over to settle in for a nap.

* * *

"Give me about ten minutes," Jacen said as the speeder pulled to a stop outside the entrance of Camp Hope. He hurriedly hopped out and took off at a swift jog.  
  
Jaina watched him go and furrowed her brow. "I wish I knew what was going on with him," she said. "He keeps blocking me and avoiding my questions."  
  
Jag chuckled. "You're kidding, right?"  
  
Jaina shot him a look to kill. "What?"  
  
Jag grinned and gently traced a fingertip down Jaina's nose, resting it on her lips. "Force, do I love you!" he exclaimed in a whisper before claiming her mouth in a soft kiss. When he broke contact, their foreheads were pressing against one another's.  
  
"So, are you going to clue me in or not?"

* * *

Whenever Tahiri left from a visit with E'marta, she always seemed to feel better about her life---while still being totally confused. The woman was right. If Tahiri guarded her heart and did not let anyone in, then she would never have to worry about getting hurt. And Force knew she was tired of hurting. Tired of the pain. If the Force meant her to be alone, then maybe she should just accept it now while she was young and quit banging her head against a wall hoping for any thing more out of life.  
  
As she stepped out of E'marta's tent, she stopped dead in her tracks.  
  
"_Jacen_?!"  
  
"Hey," he said, casually running his hand through his hair again. It was, she noticed, becoming a very attractive, nervous habit for him.  
  
"What are you doing here?" she asked, still trying to recover from her shock at seeing him so unexpectedly.  
  
"Looking for you," he answered. "We had plans to go swimming with Jaina and Jag. Did you forget?"  
  
"I—I," Tahiri stammered, not knowing how to respond. "No, I—I didn't forget. I just—I just had some things to do here," she said motioning back to E'marta's tent.  
  
Jacen stepped around her and peeked inside to find the old woman softly snoring in her bed. He chuckled. "She's out cold for a while," he announced. Then he turned to look at Tahiri. "I guess you're all finished here now, right? Jaina and Jag are waiting right out front. Let's go," he said as he took her hand and started walking.  
  
He did not get very far. She refused to budge. "What—what are you doing?" he asked quizzically. "Don't you want to go? I thought you wanted to learn how to swim."  
  
She pulled her hand out of his and stood glaring at him, her fists clenched at her sides. What made him think she would do whatever he wanted her to do? Who did he think she was to boss around? Here he had shown up after being gone for so long, butted into her life, made her care about him and now--- now---she was pathetic.  
  
"I don't have a suit," she declared weakly, thinking that might work and get him out of her hair, but doubting it the moment it slipped from her lips.  
  
He grinned that Solo grin and his dark brown eyes twinkled. "Well, you don't really need one _necessarily_." Her mouth fell wide open and he bit back a laugh. "But, I think Jaina has an extra one in the speeder if you really feel the need to wear one." He held out his hand again and softly pleaded. "Please come. I need you with me so that I don't have to watch those two slobber all over each other all day. It's kind of creepy to see your sister in love," he added with a shudder.  
  
Tahiri silently contemplated his offer. Had he said 'need'?—that he 'needed' her? She glanced down at his offered hand and back up into his handsome face, and then something inside her melted. She should turn tail and run right this very instant to get as far away as possible from this man. That's what her head was telling her. 'Play it smart, girl. Don't get involved. Break it off now!' Unfortunately, her heart and a few other parts of her body were already grasping for any contact at all with him.  
  
She placed her hand in his and could not help but smile as he gave it a warm squeeze and said, "Good. I like having you with me."

* * *

"I have a bad feeling about this," Tahiri declared in a near whisper as she gazed out over the large lake. When they had first arrived, she had become speechless at the sight of its beauty--- sparkling, turquoise blue water, luscious vegetation surrounding them behind a strip of blindingly white, terribly soft sand. Their blankets and towels were set up, along with a picnic lunch for later, and the sun was dazzlingly bright, so much so that it reminded her of Tatooine.  
  
Except for the water. And that's why she suddenly felt uneasy.  
  
"Don't worry," Jacen said as he walked up behind her placing a large hand on her shoulder. "By the end of the afternoon, you'll be swimming like a fish." She gazed up into his eyes, the uncertainty blatantly obvious. "Trust me," he whispered, and amazingly, she did—with all her heart.  
  
"First, though, you're going to have to change into your suit, unless—"he paused and that grin popped back onto his face, "unless you've changed your mind about needing one?"  
  
This time, however, she recovered from her shock quickly enough to push him away forcefully and he almost lost his balance. "Wouldn't you like that!" she teased, feeling more at ease than she had since dinner last night.  
  
"Do you want an honest answer?" he asked playfully.  
  
"Jacen!" she replied, giving him another push.  
  
"Well, I am a Solo. It's in our blood. My dad was a scoundrel and a pirate, you know." He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and then winked at her. Tahiri merely rolled her eyes, grabbed her bag and went to go change.

* * *

Jacen watched her walk away and then realized a silly grin was plastered all over his face. He quickly looked around to make sure no one else had seen or heard him make such a fool of himself. Luckily, Jaina and Jag were already out in the water, oblivious to anyone or anything else besides each other.  
  
What would it be like, he wondered, to be so absorbed in someone that nothing else seemed to matter? Would he ever know? Again thoughts of Tenel Ka and Tahiri crept into his mind. Once upon a time, he had been rather absorbed with the red-haired Hapan princess. As a boy, she had consumed his thoughts, all of his boyish thoughts. Things had changed though. He had changed. And he was pretty sure that she had changed. War did that to people whether they wanted it or not.  
  
War.  
  
It had taken his brother, so young, so promising, and now he was gone--- forever. That was a change. It had been hard for him, their whole family, and especially Tahiri. She had loved Anakin so much. Was it wrong for Jacen to secretly hope that she could possibly love him like that some day? Was it fair to her? To him? To Anakin? Dare he take the chance to find out?  
  
"Okay," Tahiri announced. "I'm ready for my first lesson--- I think."  
  
Jacen turned around and his throat immediately drained of any and all moisture. No, all of the moisture suddenly migrated to his hands and his forehead as he broke out in a sweat at the sight of her. Sure he had seen her nearly every day for the past month, but not wearing something quite so- --so--- _Sith-forsakingly hot_! He was going to have to thank Jaina later for having such good taste in swimwear because the black suit Tahiri had on was surely a gift from the Force. He hadn't realized how rounded in all the right places she was since she usually had on baggy pants and simple tee shirts. This—this was much, much better.  
  
"Are you okay, Jacen? You look a little pale," she said coming closer, and it was all he could do not to reach out and touch her bare skin. She placed a small hand on his forehead and he had to force himself not to look where his eyes were begging to look. His eyes closed at the brush of her hand, and it was bliss. Then she took it away, plunging him back into torments. "No, you're just all sweaty. Yuck!" she exclaimed with a crinkle of her nose.  
  
Water. He needed cold water--- _right now_.  
  
"Let's go teach you how to swim," he said jogging down to the edge of the water. There was a large, stone overhang that was positioned to be a natural diving board, so Jacen ran to the end and dived in. It didn't matter that the water was just a tad chilly. No, the chill helped to ease some of his ridiculous burning.  
  
Tahiri walked reluctantly to the edge of the overhang and peered in. "Is it cold?" she asked.  
  
Jacen glanced up at her from treading water and still felt too warm. "No. No, it's just right," he fibbed.  
  
She prepared to jump in, contemplated it for a few seconds, and then stepped back from the edge. "I don't know if I'm really ready for this, Jacen. You know how I feel about water. I've gotten used to being on top of it in a boat, but getting into it?—on purpose? It just doesn't seem natural to me."  
  
Jacen chuckled and swam closer to the overhang, pulling himself up over the edge so that his legs were still in the water. "Will you please just get in. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise. Swimming is really fun, but you have to get in the water. There's just no getting around that particular part of it. Come on," he urged with a wave toward him. She tentatively stepped closer and bent down so that she was eye level with Jacen.  
  
"I just don't know, Jacen," she started to stall again. He had to get her in that water soon so that he didn't have to keep looking at her body in that black suit that didn't leave much to his imagination. All she needed was a little push.  
  
He let go and slipped back into the water. "Come on, Tahiri. I find it hard to believe that a girl who could slice the head from a Yuuzhan Vong shaper like a hot knife through nerf butter is afraid of getting wet." He saw her stiffen and her chin rose up defiantly.  
  
"I'm not really afraid. I just— _Ai-eeeeeee_!" she screamed as she lost her footing and fell headlong into the water. Jacen was instantly at her side helping as she broke through the surface sputtering water and flailing her arms. He pulled her close and wrapped his arms around her, sending her a calm brush through the Force to settle her down. Finally, after a few seconds, she calmed, opened her eyes, and realized where she was. Jacen's arms were around her waist holding her close, and her arms and legs were wrapped around him--- tightly. The feel of her wet body pressed against his was much too enjoyable, and he held fast even when she started to pull away. Their gazes locked.  
  
"You okay?" he asked never taking his eyes from hers.  
  
She nodded slightly, loosening her hold just a little. "Yeah, I think so."  
  
"Is it too cold?"  
  
"Cold?" she said. "No, I'm not cold at all."  
  
He was glad he wasn't the only one feeling the heat. It was like sparks were flashing between them, and his body wasn't listening to a darn thing his mind was trying to tell it. He wanted to kiss her so badly that it hurt, so he decided to take the plunge.  
  
He pulled her closer to him, moving one hand up her bare back, knowing he could spend all day simply touching her soft skin. Her eyes widened and mouth parted slightly as if she knew what was coming next, but she stayed still letting him make the move. His mouth kept getting closer and closer to hers, their hearts pounding against their chests in unison.  
  
"Tahiri, I—"  
  
_**Splash!!**_ A blast of cold water right in their faces sent the two young Jedi apart instantly as they turned to see Jaina laughing only several feet away. "Are you guys going to swim or not?" she yelled, oblivious to what had been about to happen. Jag sent Jacen a look of sympathy and simply shrugged his shoulders in apology.  
  
Jacen sighed heavily in disappointment until a mischievous glint appeared in his eyes. In a few strokes he was right in front of his sister, and in the next instant she was dunked forcefully below the water. She came up sputtering and still splashing. Jacen looked at Jag, grinned, and declared, "Force, did that feel good!" 


	17. Chapter 17

You Get Me—Ch. 17   
  
Jacen was right.  
  
In no time at all, Tahiri was practically swimming laps around him. Of course, he had to tease her a bit first—pretend he had lost hold of her in the deep part, for example, just to hear her scream and hold on tight. He seemed to be enjoying it a little too much, and if she did not know any better, she would swear he was doing it just to have her jump back into his arms. But she refused to think about that possibility, so she tamped that blossom of hope back down deep inside where it couldn't cause her any trouble. For now, she just wanted to enjoy herself.  
  
Tahiri got out of the water and walked over to where Jaina was sunning herself on a blanket. She plopped down right next to Jaina and sighed.  
  
"This place is absolutely beautiful," she said wistfully, drinking in the splendor of her surroundings.  
  
"It is, isn't it?" Jaina replied. "Jacen came here a couple of times with Danni Quee when he first got back."  
  
Tahiri's heart nearly stopped and she glanced over inconspicuously to make sure Jaina's eyes were still closed. She did not want Jaina to know how surprised she was to find out Jacen had spent time with Danni.  
  
Jaina continued without opening her eyes. "He was right. This is a very romantic spot." She chuckled to herself. "I wonder if he tried to make a move on Danni when they were here."  
  
The despair was starting to mount. "A move? On Danni?" Tahiri said nervously, trying not to reveal her interest.  
  
"Oh, yeah. Jace had a crush on her from the minute he rescued her from the Vong. She was all he talked about for about three months after, but he hasn't really talked about her for a while, though." Another giggle. "Maybe she rejected him again."  
  
"Again?" Tahiri could not keep from asking more questions even though a piece of her seemed to break with each answer.  
  
Jaina shielded her eyes with a hand and gazed over at her companion. "Back when they first met, he expressed his feelings for her. Of course, he was only sixteen to her twenty-one, so she gave him the whole 'let's-be- friends' speech. He acted like it was no big deal, but I know how upset he really was."  
  
The knowledge that a woman as sophisticated, intelligent, and beautiful as Danni Quee could possibly be Tahiri's competition was a heavy blow to her already shoddy self-esteem. However, knowing that at least several years ago Danni had not returned Jacen's affections was a small, guilty relief. Surely Danni would want someone her own age. Wouldn't she?  
  
"Now, Tenel Ka--- that's a whole different story," Jaina suddenly declared, sending Tahiri spiraling back into her pit of despair. "Jace's been crazy about her for so long—since we were kids back at the academy. He was always trying to get her to notice him, to laugh at all of his stupid jokes, but she always resisted, even though I know she liked him. In fact, during the mission to Myrkr, it seemed like they were finally going to get together, but then--- well, you know how that turned out," Jaina trailed off.  
  
Tahiri pondered silently. She remembered Anakin mentioning Jacen's crush on the red-haired Hapan princess, even remembered seeing them together on Yavin 4 a few times. However, back then she had been so young herself, and too wrapped up in Anakin to really pay Jacen and his love life much mind.  
  
"You know that old saying 'opposites attract'?" Jaina asked and Tahiri nodded. "Well, that's how it is for Jace and Tenel Ka. They're both so different, kind of like Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara. Maybe after all of this time, Jace and Tenel Ka are finally going to make a go of it. I hope so. He deserves a little happiness, don't you think?"  
  
Tahiri could not speak, but forced a weak smile and nodded her head in agreement with Jaina. True, Jacen did deserve some happiness. But didn't she deserve some too?  
  
She glanced out at the water where Jacen and Jag were engaged in a manly dunking competition and her heart constricted. 'I could make him happy,' she thought as the tears started to burn her eyes. She refused to let them fall.  
  
'No, Tahiri,' she told herself. 'Don't hope--- don't hope, don't love, and you won't get hurt.'

* * *

Some time later, Jacen was hungry and needed a break. He and Jag had swum around while the girls sunbathed on the beach. More than once, Jag had caught him gazing over at Tahiri, but Fel never said a word. He grinned, chuckled, and even laughed out loud once, but thankfully he did not make any comments.  
  
The two men left the water and sneaked over to the girls. Jag positioned himself so he would drip on the unsuspecting Jaina, and it worked. As soon as the cold drops splattered onto her back, she squealed and jumped to her feet ready for a fight.  
  
"Jagged Fel! What do you think you're doing?!"  
  
Jag put on his best innocent face and replied, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I get you wet?"  
  
Jaina made a playful swing at his face, but he caught her arm and flung her over his shoulder. "Put me down right now before I—"she yelled.  
  
"Before you what?" he taunted as he took long strides back toward the water. "I believe, Miss Solo, that you are the one who is at my mercy this time, and if you don't stop wiggling around, I might lose my grip and drop you in the water." He had waded out far enough so that the water came up to his thighs, and Jaina struggled to get loose.  
  
"Fel, you let me go this instant!" she ordered.  
  
Jacen and Tahiri saw the huge grin on his face when he glanced back at them over his shoulder. "Goddess, your wish is my command," he conceded, and then dropped her unceremoniously into the lake.  
  
Tahiri and Jacen watched in amusement as Jaina and Jag continued to argue. It was not long before the two were in each other's arms drifting off to find a more private place to 'work out their differences'. A nervous flutter twisted inside Jacen. He was not sure if it was because he had just seen his sister kiss Jag, or if it was because he wished he was kissing someone himself. Immediately he glanced over at Tahiri who felt his gaze and turned to look at him. The expression on her face was not encouraging. She looked--- mad.  
  
"You okay?" he asked, reaching out to touch her arm. She quickly jerked it away and lay back down on the blanket. "Guess that answers my question," he mumbled to himself. He would never understand women. A short while ago she had been cozy in his arms, flirting--- or so he had thought. Maybe he was just too much of a novice to realize when a girl was sending signals or not, because now she was acting cold, distant, and would not even grace him with a word.  
  
Once upon a time, Han had told him that when a woman started acting all 'strange', it was best for any and all males to just keep quiet and steer clear. "Trust me, kid. If you don't listen to anything else I tell ya, listen to this," his father had said without a hint of his usual sarcasm. For once, Han Solo might have been right, so Jacen opted for eating his lunch in silence.  
  
Besides, since Tahiri had her eyes closed, he could sneak a few peeks at her lying there basking in the Mon Calamari sunlight. Of course, part of him felt like some kind of degenerate for wanting to look at her, but he just couldn't help himself. Seeing Tahiri in this new light, as a desirable young woman whom he enjoyed being with, was still taking some getting used to. He had started to think she was feeling the same way about him.  
  
Maybe not.  
  
Jacen finished his sandwich in virtual silence, and then lay back to rest.

* * *

Tahiri tried again to calm her beating heart. She was a swirl of mixed emotions. She was angry that Jacen had flirted with her, made her like him when she didn't even want to. Then she felt guilty for letting herself care for him when she should have been faithful to Anakin's memory. But then, she was loathe to admit, she also felt jealous—jealous that Jacen had other women in his life and disappointed that she wasn't the only one.  
  
'Fool!" she berated herself. How had she let herself fall so deeply in love with Jacen Solo, for surely that is what this crazy emotion was that had hold of her heart and would not let go. It was his fault--- all of it. He was the one who came back and practically forced himself into her life. She had not even wanted to talk to him, much less spend so much time in his company, but he had been incredibly persistent and completely irresistible.  
  
Jacen Solo had killed her with kindness.  
  
She needed a drink.  
  
She sat up and found the cooler sitting on the other side of Jacen. He was lying on his back, one arm draped over his eyes, and she thought he must be asleep. Part of her wanted to reach out and just touch his tanned, muscled chest, the same one she had been pressed up against mere hours before, but she wouldn't let herself. Instead, she carefully reached over him and maneuvered to get a grip on the handle of the cooler.  
  
"Got it!" she muttered. In a flash of movement, Jacen grabbed her wrist and had her flipped on her back before she knew what hit her. It took her a second to realize what had happened and that Jacen was straddled atop her, but as soon as she did she started struggling to get loose.  
  
He would not budge.  
  
"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Jacen asked, a serious look on his face.  
  
"I don't know what you're talking about," Tahiri spat back in response, avoiding his eyes.  
  
Jacen narrowed his gaze and studied her face. "Don't give me that," he demanded. "An hour ago we were having a great time, and now you're giving me the mother of all cold shoulders. What gives?"  
  
"Nothing!" she answered, looking him defiantly in the eye now. "I'm not doing anything. Maybe you just have a guilty conscience."  
  
"Guilty conscience?" Jacen repeated in confusion. "Now I don't know what you're talking about!"  
  
His innocent act perturbed Tahiri, and she began struggling to get away again. "Let me go, Jacen!" One hand finally ripped loose from his grip and she landed a loud smack across his cheek, which took them both by surprise. Jacen was first to recover this time and grabbed her wrist before she could land another blow.  
  
"Be still, Tahiri! Quit moving around!" he ordered. At that instant their eyes locked and Tahiri quit fighting him. The only sound was both of their labored breathing. Jacen's eyes focused first on hers and then wandered down to her mouth, her heaving chest and then back up. He felt himself leaning down closer to her, his lips desperately in need of hers.  
  
"Tahiri," he whispered faintly, and then his mouth brushed over hers, but just barely. He opened his eyes and gazed again into her green depths expecting her to fight him, but happy when she did not. There was something in her eyes that he had noticed on a few other occasions and he recognized it for the same need that was burning in him. Underneath him, she had relaxed the tension in her body and melded to his, still silent.  
  
Jacen knew that now was the time to tell her how he felt.  
  
"There's something I need to—"  
  
_Beep-beep-beep. Beep-beep-beep._  
  
"Jaina? Jacen? Come in, you two. It's your mother."  
  
Jacen froze at the sound of the comm. unit emitting his mother's voice. When he grudgingly moved to retrieve the device, Tahiri quickly jumped up and searched for her cover-up shirt.  
  
"Yeah, Mom. What is it?" he asked, trying not to sound as irritated as he was.  
  
"Jacen? Oh, good! I need you guys back here as soon as possible. The Hapan fleet just pulled out of hyperspace."  
  
"Already?" Jacen said, his stomach doing a nervous flip at the thought of seeing Tenel Ka a day sooner than planned.  
  
"Yes," Leia continued excitedly. "Tenel Ka must be quite anxious to see you, sweetie."  
  
At that, Jacen shot a glance over at Tahiri who once again refused to meet his gaze. She was slipping on her shorts and turned away from him to hide the hurt that was surely written all over her face.  
  
"Okay, Mom. We'll be home soon," he replied and then clicked off the comm. He wasn't sure what to say. Things were suddenly very awkward. "Guess you heard?" he offered lamely.  
  
"Yeah," she said slipping on her sandals. "Sounds great."  
  
"I'll—I'll just go get Jaina and Jag so we can go."  
  
"Sure. And I'll just pack this stuff up," she said motioning to the blankets and other items scattered around. She waited until he was gone and then she allowed herself to cry.  
  
But just a little. 


	18. Chapter 18

You Get Me—Ch. 18   
  
The ride home was a mere blur to Tahiri. Neither she nor Jacen spoke more than three words during the whole trip, mostly because Jaina talked enough for everyone. She was tremendously excited that Tenel Ka had arrived a whole day early and was oblivious that no one else seemed to be sharing her enthusiasm. Jag, never one to butt into anyone's personal lives, kept his mouth shut even though he did notice the silent torture the two backseat passengers were going through. He had seen the way Jacen and Tahiri looked at each other and knew that they had both helped each other heal more than any doctor ever could. However, his darling Jaina had not a clue.  
  
At the suggestion that they all return together to greet the Hapan visitors, Tahiri vehemently objected.  
  
"No!" she declared loudly from the backseat. "I—I couldn't possibly meet a queen looking like this," she added in explanation. "Just drop me off at my place. I'll be fine, really. I've been needing a night all to myself."  
  
"Are you sure, Tahiri?" Jaina asked, turning around in her seat to look at the younger girl. "I know Tenel Ka would love to see you. And Jacen would love to have you there, wouldn't you, Jace?"  
  
Jacen's head jerked up from its leaning against the window and he tried to hide his embarrassment. "Um--- yeah. Of course I'd like you there," he added lamely.  
  
Tahiri raised one eyebrow in disbelief and looked away. "No. I'd rather be home alone tonight."  
  
When they reached her building, she hastily exited the speeder before Jacen could even get out to walk her inside. Glancing back over her shoulder she called, "Thanks for the swimming lessons, Jacen. See you guys later!" and then she was gone.  
  
Jacen did not know what to think--- or feel, for that matter. Tahiri's behavior had been erratic and frustrating, but he thought he understood why she might be so upset.  
  
Tenel Ka.  
  
Here-- early.  
  
He sighed and tried to clear his mind so that he could focus on just what her arrival meant to him. Maybe she was simply here to pledge her system's help in the war effort. However, something told him that this visit would be the determining factor in their relationship somehow, and the weight of that thought frightened him. For so long he had pursued her, knowing that she did not return those feelings and, in deed, could not because they had simply been too young before. But now--- now they were both adults. Young adults, but adults nonetheless. The stakes were suddenly much higher.

* * *

Leia was waiting impatiently for them at the official diplomatic hangar along with Cal Omas and a few other Galactic Alliance dignitaries. Han was standing beside her pulling at the collar of his too stiff dress shirt, and C3PO was nearby babbling on about proper Hapan etiquette. As they approached his parents, Jacen noticed a flash of anger in his father's eyes at the mention of the word 'Hapan'. After all he and his family had suffered at the hands of the politically manipulative Hapans, Jacen knew Han thought there was no filthier word, but must have decided this time to keep his opinion to himself.  
  
"Listen, Goldenrod," Han explained through a clenched jaw, "I think I've had enough experience with these people that I don't need a metal head like you telling me how to behave!"  
  
"Han, please!" Leia scolded. "Oh, good! You're here," she exclaimed when she saw her children approaching, Jag in tow. Her smile instantly turned into a frown as she took in their beach attire. "You're not dressed," she stated simply.  
  
"Sorry, Mom," Jaina apologized. "We ran out of time since we had to take Tahiri home first."  
  
Leia switched her gaze to Jacen. "She didn't come? Didn't you invite her? She is practically one of the family."  
  
Jacen shrugged innocently. "She said she preferred to stay home by herself tonight." Leia looked away and began rambling about something else, and Jacen looked despairingly over to his father. Han motioned Jacen over with a quick jerk of his head amidst all of the hub-bub.  
  
"How's it going, kid?" Han asked his son quietly. "I take it you didn't tell her yet."  
  
Jacen sighed. "Nope," and then he growled low in his throat and ran his hand back through his hair. "I tried, Dad. I really did, but we kept being interrupted every time I got the chance. I don't know--- maybe it's not meant to be. Maybe I was wrong about how I feel about her and this is the Force's way of keeping me from making a fool of myself."  
  
Han's laughter surprised Jacen who glared at his father, now eye to eye. "Every man who is a real man has made a fool of himself at one time or another over a woman. It's one of our rites of passage into manhood. And uncertainty seems to come as a package deal with a female. Get used to it," he concluded with a thump on Jacen's back.  
  
"Gee, Dad. Thanks."  
  
"Hey, kid, there is always that kidnapping option, you know. I'm telling you, it works wonders," Han said with a loving yet teasing glance at his spitfire of a wife who was hastily trying to make Jaina and Jag more presentable.  
  
Suddenly, the sound of an approaching ship coming in to land diverted everyone's attention upward. The landing craft was typical of most things Hapan—an elaborately designed vehicle, pure poetry in motion as it gently touched down amidst the other diplomatic ships docked nearby, dwarfing them in size and grandeur.  
  
"Show offs," Jacen heard his father grumble. He stifled a chuckle and turned to watch as the ship settled in and prepared to present its passengers. A peculiar twinge churned in Jacen's stomach. Part of him wanted to run away as fast as he could and just remove himself from all of this craziness, but he knew he could not. So he stood tall and firm while this next scene in his unusual life started to play.  
  
Slowly, the landing ramp lowered, and first to exit were a group of four armed Hapan guards--- women, of course, as Hapan culture dictated. However, the women did not appear the least bit soft and feminine. While they were undoubtedly beautiful in an exotic way, their powerful builds and fierce expressions left no doubt as to their effectiveness in a physical confrontation. Jacen fought back a shudder. They were a bit scary.  
  
Next came more guards and then sixty-three officiates, each offering a greeting and small gift to Leia and Cal from each of the member worlds of the Consortium. Jacen heard his father grumbling again—something about Hapans bearing gifts—and tried to pay attention to what was happening. Finally, after that ceremony, a troupe of what appeared to be handmaidens, all equally as dangerous looking as the first set of guards, descended the ramp, dressed in the finest of Hapan finery and filling the hangar, which usually smelled of oil and all things metallic, with the scent of exotic perfumes and spices.  
  
It was quite the spectacle.  
  
One more guard exited the ship, looking more merciless than any of the others that had come before her, and Jacen assumed she must be Tenel Ka's personal bodyguard. He was right. She bowed and introduced herself as Iry'na before announcing the appearance of the Queen Mother--- Her Royal Highness, Tenel Ka.  
  
At first, all Jacen could see was a pair of legs descending the ramp, and his heart pounded ridiculously. And then, she was there, at the bottom, in all of her royal glory. Never before had Tenel Ka looked more beautiful or more at peace in her own skin, Jacen noted. The royal life suited her. Her former Dathomirian attire had been traded for flowing robes in the most flattering shades of green, and her long, thick copper tresses were elaborately arrayed in a complex style of braids with some left flowing freely down her back. She noticed Jacen immediately, and offered a small smile, but protocol required her to greet those of highest rank first. Jacen was excited and petrified all at the same time. It seemed so strange to not be able to simply walk up to her and give her a hug or throw his arm around her and share a silly joke, try to get her to laugh.  
  
No, things had changed—a lot.  
  
As she made her way through all of the formal hellos, Jacen braced himself for his turn. Then all at once, there she was standing right in front of him, several inches shorter than him now, he noticed. Indeed, he had grown since last he'd seen her. Their eyes met and her familiar smile brought one to his face.  
  
"Jacen Solo," she stated in her strong, alto voice.  
  
"Tenel Ka," he replied. "It's been too long."  
  
Her smile widened and she reached out to put her hand on his shoulder. "That is a fact," she said simply, her familiar saying bringing a chuckle to his lips. Then she seemed to remember who and where she was, and dropped her hand. "I hope to spend some time becoming reacquainted," she said with a curt nod before moving on to the next person.  
  
And that was that.  
  
No hugs. No terms of endearment. Just a plain old 'hello- it's good to see you' and then she was being whisked away to a private meeting with the government representatives, of which he was not one and so was not invited to attend.  
  
Jacen stood there dumbfounded as the huge Hapan entourage exited the hangar. Han had stayed with his kids while Leia went to the meeting, and draped a comforting arm around his son's shoulders.  
  
"That was short and sweet," Han offered sarcastically.  
  
Jacen snorted. "It wasn't even sweet," he replied and then shook his head. "I don't know what I expected. Maybe I thought when I saw her again that suddenly it would all be clear to me."  
  
"Not clear now?" Han asked.  
  
"No, not so much," Jacen answered.  
  
Han sympathized with his son. Figuring out females was a complicated endeavor. He had plenty of firsthand experience having had to convince Leia she couldn't live without him all those years ago, the presence of the Hapans drudging up those memories whether he wanted to be reminded or not. However, he had to admit, he was enjoying being Jacen's confidant. It was adding a new facet to their precarious relationship; one that he hoped continued to grow.  
  
"What do you say we go get some dinner?" Han asked pulling Jacen in close to his side. "Food always helps me feel better. And besides, you need all the strength you can get when dealing with women."  
  
Jacen chuckled and Han's heart melted.  
  
"Food sounds good. Lead the way, old man."  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!" Han exclaimed, giving Jacen a quick shove. "Watch your mouth, kid. I may be old, but I still got it where it counts." Han flashed his famous grin and was startled to see the exact same grin reflected on Jacen's face. 


	19. Chapter 19

**You Get Me**—ch 19   
  
Thanks for the kind reviews. This one is pretty long to make up for the short ones. Enjoy!

* * *

"Leia, may I have a private word with you?"  
  
Leia Solo glanced up from her datapad and across the table to the Hapan queen and smiled warmly. "Of course, Tenel Ka." She watched as the young woman rose and came to take a seat closer to Leia, her two bodyguards flanking her sides while maintaining a consistently dominating presence. Tenel Ka waited until all of the other government representatives and their assistants finished exiting the conference room before continuing.  
  
Leia began by taking Tenel's hand in hers. "I am so happy that you and your people have decided to join our efforts against the Yuuzhan Vong. We'll have the final documents drawn up for you to sign by Friday."  
  
The redhead smiled back. "I am only so sorry it took so long. There are some in Hapes who would prefer to remain impartial to the horrors which rage around us. It took some persuasion, but I am glad I was able to finally come to your aid. I hope we will make a difference in the fight."  
  
"I'm sure you will," Leia replied. "Every hand of help makes a difference. Now," she added, patting the younger woman's hand, "what did you want to talk about?"  
  
Leia saw the moment of hesitancy in Tenel Ka's eyes and became instantly more curious about what could cause her to appear so unnerved. The curiosity only rose even higher when Tenel pulled her hand gently away from Leia and took a deep breath as she straightened in her seat.  
  
"I wanted to speak to you about this particular matter because I know that you have experienced somewhat the same dilemma in your past... with _my own father_, in fact."  
  
Leia's gaze narrowed and she folded her hands in her lap and felt her own back stiffen. The ordeal with Prince Isolder all those years ago could still ignite strange emotions within her and her husband with the mere mention of anything related to Isolder of Hapes.  
  
"Go on," Leia urged.  
  
"I find myself in quite a precarious position regarding my rule. There are still several factions within the Consortium who would be pleased to see my reign come to an end or at least suffer some kind of major crisis. Thus, my advisors have been frantically trying to devise ways to keep either of those things from happening."  
  
Leia nodded. "There are always people who will be jealous of your power and position. It's wise to keep sound counsel from wise advisors. But, what is it that I can do for you? You know I think of you as one of my own and I'll do anything I can to help."  
  
Tenel Ka sighed deeply in relief and Leia could visibly see the tension ease a bit in her posture. "I had hoped you would be so understanding. It makes my request easier to make."  
  
"Request?"  
  
"Yes," Tenel Ka replied, straightening once again in her chair. "My advisors have suggested that if I were to-- _marry_ then I would appear more settled and rooted in my power---especially if he were someone equally as powerful in his own right."  
  
The queen had Leia's full attention, and even though she was pretty sure where this conversation was headed, she was not quite sure that she knew how it would end.  
  
"That makes sense to a degree, I suppose," Leia acknowledged, careful not to reveal her thoughts just yet, opting for a bit of teasing instead. "Although I hate to tell you, but I'm already married and a little too old for you, dear."  
  
"Uh—uh—oh--," Tenel stammered, and Leia laughed.  
  
"I'm only joking. Blame my husband. He's corrupted me," she explained with a mischievous glint in her dark brown eyes.  
  
Tenel Ka regained her composure and cracked a small smile. "And all these years I thought Jacen got his sense of humor from his father."  
  
"Only when he tells the really bad jokes--- that's from Han. The good stuff, that's all me," Leia said, trying to put the other woman at ease, and rather liking catching her off guard.  
  
"Jacen," Tenel Ka stated simply bringing the conversation back to where she wanted it. "That is what I want to discuss with you. If I decide to take the advice of my counselors, there is no one else I could think of marrying than your son, Leia."  
  
Leia paused to take it all in, finally taking a deep breath and exhaling out her nose with a huff. "Well--- what does _he_ think about all of this?"  
  
Tenel Ka averted her eyes and stared down at her lap. "He—he does not know about it yet. I wanted to speak with you first, as his mother. That is the custom in Hapes. If I have your consent, then I will ask him for his. I know that he once cared for me-- when we were younger. I was not interested in such an attachment at that time, even though we became close friends. I am sure he has changed after all that has happened over the last few years, but I hope that he still harbors some tender feelings for me. We would make a good team, Jacen and I."  
  
Leia studied the young woman and could not help but sympathize with her plight. The pressures of being in power were often overwhelming, especially when they conflicted with one's own desires. She knew that Jacen cared for Tenel Ka, but did not know if he was ready for marriage. However, that was not her decision to make. She and Han had sworn years ago that they would never force their children into marriage with anyone for any reason. This was a decision Jacen would have to make on his own.  
  
Finally, Leia spoke. "I have no doubts that you and Jacen would make a good team together. You are both strong in the Force. I can't promise you what he will say when you ask. He is not quite the same Jacen he was before the Vong took him, and yet he is still the same in his essence. I appreciate your adherence to custom by asking me, Tenel Ka, but I can't really give consent for something only Jacen has control over."  
  
Tenel Ka's face dropped, and Leia quickly continued. "However, I can't say that I would be disappointed to have you for a daughter-in-law."  
  
Tenel Ka looked back up to find Leia smiling again, and in another second, Leia was leaning over embracing the young woman without noticing the agitated bodyguards who had stepped even closer. Tenel Ka raised her one hand to halt them.  
  
"It's okay," she explained. "Leia is family."

* * *

Keeping a secret was hard work for Leia Solo, especially when it involved one of her own children. Somehow, she had managed to keep it through the night dodging questions her husband shot her way when she returned from the meeting with Tenel Ka. Although they usually shared things, something had kept her from telling Han about Tenel Ka's proposition. She was not sure how he would take it since the girl was the daughter of the man who had nearly stolen Leia out from under Han's nose.  
  
Plus, she wasn't quite certain of her feelings on the matter just yet either. As much as she loved her son and liked Tenel Ka, the way the young queen had worded her request left Leia feeling like something wasn't quite right. It had taken Leia most of her sleepless night to figure out what the problem was.  
  
Tenel Ka had not once mentioned _love_.  
  
She had said she cared for Jacen and that she hoped he still cared for her, but never once did she use the word 'love'. It shouldn't have bothered Leia so much, but for some reason it did. Marriage was difficult enough to sustain even when love was the center. She knew that from firsthand experience. But if the couple did not even start out with love as the foundation, how successful could it be? Sure, some arranged marriages grew into love, but did she want to risk her son's happiness on a 'maybe'? Marriage was serious business---not something to just take on a trial run to see if it works, to be discarded if one of the partners got bored or tired of the hassle. It was for life.  
  
But was it the life for Jacen?  
  
She would just have to let him decide for himself, but perhaps he would be better prepared to do that if he knew what was heading his way. After she finished securing her long hair back into a clip, she walked into the living room determined to contact Jacen and have a talk. It wouldn't be meddling---- not really. She would keep her opinion to herself and just let him know what to expect.  
  
Han was sitting on the couch enjoying a steaming cup of stimcaf, his feet propped up on the small table in front of him when she came in and grabbed her comm unit.  
  
"Who ya calling, sweetheart?" he asked as he took another sip.  
  
"I've got to talk to Jacen. It's—it's rather important," Leia replied, dying to tell her husband everything, but forcing herself not to.  
  
"Sounds serious," Han added, "but he's not home. He called earlier to say he'd be out all day. Said he had some errands to run, stuff to think about, yada, yada, yada."  
  
He saw his wife's shoulders slump in defeat, heard her murmur a short curse, and wondered why she was so upset. "What's wrong, Leia? Is it an emergency?" He stood up and moved to put an arm around his tiny wife.  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I just needed to speak to him—let him know--," and then she stopped talking, glanced up, and then quickly away from Han. Her guilty expression set Han on alert. Now he just had to know what she was keeping from him.  
  
"Let him know what?" he prodded forcing her to look at him. "What aren't you telling me, your worshipfulness? And don't tell me 'nothing' because I know you're up to something. So spill it. It'll save us time." Part of him felt ashamed urging her to share her secret when he was himself keeping one from her. He had yet to tell her of Jacen's growing attraction to Tahiri, figuring the kid needed some time to figure it all out for himself first.  
  
Leia softened when she saw her husband's silly, lopsided grin. It could still melt her after all these years. She could fight him, and sometimes, she had to admit, she enjoyed the fight. But other times it was better to just give in to him.  
  
With a sigh, she began to explain. "Tenel Ka asked me for Jacen's hand in marriage last night."  
  
"_What?!"_ Han exclaimed his eyes wide and his jaw open nearly to the floor.  
  
"I said, Tenel Ka---"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time," he interrupted. He spun around and ran a hand back through his typically mussed hair, a gesture Leia had begun to notice Jacen imitating lately. "What did _you_ say? What did _he_ say?" he questioned, spinning back around to face her.  
  
"I told her it wasn't my place to answer for him, even if it is the Hapan way for the mother to give consent."  
  
Han snorted at the mention of 'the Hapan way', as she knew he would. He was so predictable. "And Jacen?"  
  
"He—he doesn't know yet. That's why I need to talk to him," Leia stated with another sigh. "I thought I should tell him so he can be thinking of his answer."  
  
"What do you think he'll say?" Han asked nervously.  
  
"I—I don't know," Leia answered softly. "I know he was crazy about her when they were both younger. So, yes, maybe?----oh, I don't know!"  
  
Han began pacing, debating what to do. He knew his son had always had a crush on the Hapan princess---no, she was a queen now, he reminded himself. That was another thing Han was uneasy about. Since she was now the ruler of a whole group of worlds, the chance to live such a life might be tempting for Jacen after living through hell at the hands of the Vong. There wasn't anything wrong with the girl, apart from her father, of course. However, knowing how Jacen was beginning to feel about Tahiri, Han had mixed feelings. He was always one to root for the underdog, and in the game of life, Tahiri Veila was indeed the underdog. The poor kid had had a rough life, to be sure, and Han's heart went out to her. She needed a chance at happiness--- a chance to have someone care about her and take care of her. He had been blessed to get that chance with Leia. Tahiri deserved the same, and Han thought maybe his son could give it to her.  
  
Force, he was becoming such a softie in his old age!  
  
"Hey, guys," Jaina exclaimed as she walked through the door startling both of her parents.  
  
"Remind me to change that entry code," Han muttered sarcastically.  
  
"Oh, Daddy!" Jaina replied as she plopped down on the sofa. She picked up Han's discarded cup of stimcaf and took a swig.  
  
"She thinks I'm kidding," Han added quietly to his wife.  
  
"So, what are you guys up to?" Jaina asked oblivious to their previous conversation.  
  
Han and Leia looked at each other, unsure of how much to tell their daughter. Anything she knew was certain to get to Jacen. But since that was what Leia was intending, what difference did it make?  
  
"We were just discussing your brother," Leia said.  
  
"What did he do now?" Jaina asked flippantly taking another sip.  
  
Han raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Enjoying my drink, princess?"  
  
"A little too strong and a tad cold. So what's this about my brother?" She took yet another drink.  
  
Leia plunged ahead. "Tenel Ka wants to marry him."  
  
Stimcaf sprayed from Jaina's mouth as she jumped to her feet. "_What?!_ She wants to _marry_ him?! You're kidding, right?"  
  
Leia handed her daughter a napkin and answered. "No, I'm serious. Wipe your chin. She asked me last night."  
  
A huge grin spread across Jaina's face. "Oh my gosh! This is so wonderful! Jacen and Tenel Ka---married! I can't believe it! I was just telling Tahiri yesterday how much he always loved Tenel Ka and—"  
  
Han's ears perked up instantly. "You told Tahiri _what?!"_ He immediately started pulling on his boots and mumbling to himself while Leia and Jaina observed in confusion. Jaina eventually looked to her mother for an explanation, but the older woman simply shrugged.  
  
"It's best to just ignore him when he gets like this."  
  
They watched as he grabbed his jacket, and in another minute, Han was out the door heading Leia knew not where. She determined to find out the details later, but for now she needed to calm Jaina down and find Jacen.

* * *

"Well, hello there, Handsome!"  
  
Jacen smiled at the old woman as he entered her tent. A quick glance around told him she was alone. No Tahiri. He wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed.  
  
"Good morning, Beautiful," he replied with a roguish wink. "How are you today?"  
  
"Well, you know, I'm still breathing, so I can't complain," E'marta answered with a chuckle. "Plus, I have a good-looking man here in my tent all to myself, so I'd say it's a pretty good day."  
  
It was Jacen's turn to laugh. He liked E'marta. Even though her body was failing, her wit remained sharp and quick.  
  
"Don't tease me, E'marta. You know I'm desperately in love with you and if you keep talking like that I'm likely to carry you off in the middle of the night. Then what will everyone say?"  
  
E'marta's eyes twinkled with delight. "Honey, if you carried me off, I wouldn't give a Force-forsaken flit about what everyone else said!"  
  
In a moment, silence descended between them as E'marta observed how preoccupied Jacen seemed to be.  
  
"Something troubling you, sweetie?" she asked.  
  
He glanced at her and answered quietly, "Oh, nothing you'd want to hear about. I wouldn't want to bore you."  
  
"Try me," she said patting the bed next to her. "We old people tend to be good listeners since we don't have much else to do with our time. So come on over here and tell me all about it."  
  
Jacen paused to contemplate his reply. He didn't really know her all that well, but something about her put him totally at ease. "Has Tahiri been here today?"  
  
E'marta's eyebrow raised slightly. Just as she thought. "No---no she hasn't been here. Are you looking for her? Or trying to avoid her?"  
  
Jacen stared wide-eyed at the woman. She was even more perceptive than he had first thought, so he didn't try to deny the truth. "You know, E'marta, I'm not really sure," he admitted, running his hand through his hair.  
  
E'marta nodded her head slowly. "At least you're honest. That's the first step to getting 'sure'."  
  
Jacen finally sat down on the foot of the bed and stared straight ahead at nothing in particular. "I don't know what happened. Tahiri used to be my brother's girlfriend before he---died," he said turning to look at the old woman.  
  
"Yes. I know. She told me as much."  
  
"I thought she might have. You two have been spending a lot of time together. I think you're good for her," Jacen said with a quick smile.  
  
"So are you, dear," E'marta replied.  
  
Jacen snorted. "Yeah, well, I'm not so sure she would share your opinion after yesterday." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Now she probably thinks I'm a big jerk."  
  
"Now, why would she think that?" E'marta coaxed. "I've seen you two together around here, laughing and joking, working side by side to get things done. I don't think she feels that way about you."  
  
"Don't you?" he asked, unconvinced. "Well, that's just it. I don't know how she feels about me, thus, my current dilemma." He hung his head, took a deep breath, and then started to explain.  
  
"It started out being a favor to my brother, Anakin," he began and then he proceeded to tell E'marta how the situation with Tahiri had developed from a 'mission' to save her from despair over Anakin's death to a new relationship that Jacen wasn't quite sure how to define. They had quickly and easily progressed to a deep friendship, and now it seemed the term 'friend' just didn't adequately describe what he felt for Tahiri anymore.  
  
The problem was he didn't know for sure how she felt about him. There were times when she looked at him and he thought he noticed the same spark of interest in her eyes. But Jacen Solo was not one to act without thinking first, which was one of his biggest faults.  
  
Except when they had been on the beach yesterday. That was one time he had acted on pure impulse. Having her pinned beneath him, eyes locked, hearts pounding, had been exciting and frightening at the same time. And then when he kissed her--- if the mere brush of his mouth on hers could even be called a kiss—it had flooded him with feelings he had never known before.  
  
He wanted more, much more, but wasn't sure he should. A smidgeon of guilt still lingered regarding Anakin's prior claim to Tahiri even if Jacen was finding himself strongly and undeniably connected to her.  
  
Omitting the sordid details about his actions at the beach, Jacen moved on to tell E'marta about Tenel Ka.  
  
"I was nuts about her," he explained with a grin. "She was smart and strong and beautiful. I wanted so badly for her to like me, but she never seemed to see me as anything more than a friend."  
  
E'marta wondered if he realized he only spoke of her in the past tense.  
  
"Even when she greeted me last night it was kind of distant and formal. Not what I expected--- or hoped for. And so," he declared slapping both hands on his thighs, and as he looked back over at E'marta an expression of confusion appeared on his face. "I'm not really sure why I just told you all of that," he chuckled. "I'm sure it was more information than you wanted to hear."  
  
E'marta smiled warmly, and Jacen suddenly wondered what it would have been like to know his grandparents—apart from Darth Vader, of course. He doubted they would have had too many heart-to-heart chats.  
  
"Well, that is quite a predicament for you," she said sympathetically.  
  
"Exactly," Jacen agreed.  
  
"Sounds like you have some decisions to make and two young ladies to talk to. Sitting around over-thinking a thing doesn't get a body anywhere. No, sir, you've got to make your mind up and then take some action. Yes," she repeated firmly, "you've got to take some action."

* * *

If all of Uncle Luke's stories were true, E'marta's wisdom could have rivaled Master Yoda's, Jacen mused as he hammered another nail into the unfinished dining hall. The quickly swelling number of refugees flooding into Camp Hope made the new structure an absolute necessity. He had been working with the construction crew all day, refusing to acknowledge the exhaustion in his body, continuing to push himself to his physical limit. Maybe this wasn't exactly the kind of action E'marta had intended, but it was working for him, nonetheless.  
  
Spending hours performing manual labor had actually given Jacen time to think. He laughed out loud and shook his head. What would she say about that?  
  
Several times throughout the day he found himself turning to share something funny with Tahiri only to remember she wasn't there. He wished she had been there to see little Gi'anni take his first steps and to see Big Yurik trip and fall into a giant mud puddle. He missed looking over his shoulder to see her smiling back, feeling her working right along side him, sharing a bottle of water during a break, and hearing her giggle at his silly jokes.  
  
The hammer in his hand halted in mid-swing as he suddenly realized he had not thought about Tenel Ka since his conversation with E'marta earlier that morning. Funny--- there was a time when she had occupied most of his thoughts—especially those he had at night as his teenage hormones raged within. Now when he thought of her, it was different—like a fond memory of his former life. She was still one of the most beautiful females he had ever seen in his life. Still strong and smart and better than ever. But it just wasn't the same.  
  
She wasn't Tahiri.  
  
An instant calm washed over Jacen filling him with a peaceful relief—a 'knowing', of sorts. He had been struggling so desperately to find an answer, much as the boy Jacen would have done, not remembering that he wasn't that boy anymore. He was a man--- a man who knew what he needed to do. 


	20. Chapter 20

You Get Me -- Chapter 20

The Mon Calamari sun was setting as Tahiri finally arrived back home. She paused outside for just a moment to enjoy the beautiful mix of pinks and golds that sprawled across the sky before entering her building. She was tired and ready to shower and then crawl into bed with a holovid, anything to take her mind off Jacen and the thought of him with Tenel Ka. His anxiousness to see his old flame yesterday had been painful to Tahiri, but it was the prod she needed to make her finally realize how futile the hope for a relationship with Jacen really was.  
  
So she had spent the day hiding—hiding from him and her feelings. She had started the morning with a fierce workout, punishing herself for all the time she had missed due to being with Jacen. Then she had made sure not to go anywhere he might be—the refugee camp, for certain, and their usual cafes. Instead, she had rented a speeder and driven for miles around the city, even taking a jaunt below the sea to a tourist hangout—a local aquarium. Being surrounded by water still made her a little queasy, but it was worth it not to have to see Jacen.  
  
She didn't know what she would say when she saw him again, and she knew it was inevitable that their paths would cross sooner than later. Even though he was with Tenel Ka, he would still eventually wonder about Tahiri. It was in his nature to be concerned about others. It was one of the things she had grown to admire about him.  
  
_'No, Tahiri,'_ she thought to herself. '_Just stop thinking about him. He wants her—that's that, so just stay out of his way and let him be happy.'  
  
_Upon reaching her door, she punched in the entry code and stepped inside.  
  
"There you are!"  
  
Tahiri jumped at the sound of a voice inside her room, her heart instantly racing into overdrive as her hand instinctively reached for her lightsaber. When in the next second she recognized who it was, she immediately began to calm.  
  
"Didn't mean to scare you, kid," Han Solo apologized as he stood up from the chair he'd been reclining in. "I thought all you Jedi could sense when someone was around."  
  
Tahiri's hand was still over her heart as she turned to close the door. "Guess not," she said. "How did you get in here?" she asked suddenly realizing that her door had definitely been locked.  
  
His face spread into that same lopsided grin Jacen always wore and her heart twisted. "If I told you, I'd have to kill you," he teased. "Hey, where have you been all day? I've been waiting for hours."  
  
"Waiting? For me?" she asked in confusion. "Why?"  
  
Han debated how to answer. This was a delicate situation, and although he usually tried to stay away from anything 'delicate', this was an instance that needed his expert attention. But just how much to tell Tahiri was the problem. It was really Jacen's place to share his feelings, but knowing his son, he'd think about it for too long and miss his opportunity. So all Han needed to do was make sure Jacen got the chance to say what was really on his mind.  
  
So then... Han would have to lie.  
  
"Well," he began, running a hand through his graying mane. Tahiri's heart clenched again at the reflection of Jacen in his father's actions. "Leia sent me here," he said unconvincingly.  
  
Tahiri studied the older man, not sure whether to believe him, but curious, nonetheless, to find out why he had found it necessary to break into her room. "Why?" she asked suspiciously with a wrinkle of her nose.  
  
The kid asked too many questions, Han told himself.  
  
"She, uh, wanted me to make sure you were coming to the banquet tomorrow night," he explained, pleased at having thought of that reason on the spur of the moment.  
  
Tahiri sighed and walked over to sit on the edge of her bed. "I don't think so, Mr. Solo. I'm not much for those types of things."  
  
"I thought you might say that." He was prepared for this. He sat down on the other end of her bed and took a deep breath. He had to ease her into this without her suspecting she was being manipulated. But he was Han Solo. Manipulation was his middle name.  
  
"Yeah, I don't like these things either, but somehow I always end up going anyway." He smiled when he heard her laugh softly. "Leia, she can be quite persuasive when she wants to. Must be all that diplomatic experience she's had over the years." He paused to think of his next words.  
  
"She won't take no for an answer, you know. In fact when I was leaving she said to make sure I told you she was 'personally' inviting you--- seeing as how you're practically one of our own. 'Tell Tahiri I just really need her to be there,' she said. 'It won't be the same if she doesn't come,'" he mimicked in a sorry imitation of his wife's voice.  
  
Tahiri studied his rugged face wondering if Jacen would be as attractive when he reached his father's age. "She really said that?" she finally asked.  
  
"Yeah, she really did," Han lied again. Oh well. It was for the girl's own good, he rationalized. "And if I have to go back and tell her you're not coming, well, it will just break her heart. The war has made her really sensitive when it comes to family."  
  
Tahiri's back stiffened instantly. "But I'm not your family Mr. Solo," she said quietly, looking away so he wouldn't see her watery eyes.  
  
Han stood up quickly and moved in front of her. "Don't talk foolishness, kid! Of course you're family, and don't ever let me hear you say otherwise," he demanded vehemently. "And stop calling me 'mister'. It makes me feel old."  
  
Tahiri chuckled and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. Han knew he was close to sealing the deal, so he took her hands and pulled her up in front of him. "Look," he continued softly, "I hate these fancy shindigs as much as you do--- probably even more. And if I have to go, you have to go. It's the Solo family way. Haven't you ever heard the saying 'misery loves company'?" he teased with another Solo grin. She nodded with a smile. "Well, then, we'll be miserable together. It'll make my wife happy, which in turn will make us happy, which makes the whole galaxy just one big bunch of 'happy'. What do you say?"  
  
"Okay! Okay!" Tahiri surrendered. "I'll go--- but just for a little while. I couldn't bear to disappoint Leia and I would hate for you to get in trouble," she added with a playful punch to his arm.  
  
"Good. Good. I appreciate that, kid," Han said. Then he nervously retrieved a box from the floor and clumsily thrust it into her hands.  
  
"What's this?" she questioned, looking from the box up to Han.  
  
"Uh, it's a dress," he stammered. "Leia didn't know if you'd need one, so she sent this."  
  
Tahiri carefully opened the box and gasped softly at the contents inside. "This is too much," she exclaimed. "She shouldn't have."  
  
"It was no problem," Han said, quite pleased with himself. Tahiri didn't need to know that he had been the one to pick out the dress. At first, he'd felt ridiculous entering the boutique full of women's clothes. However, the sales girls were so helpful that it had been a cinch to choose a dress for Tahiri. He just hoped the size was right. "And there's a pair of, uh, shoes underneath," he added, "if you want to wear them, that is."  
  
Tahiri gazed up at him with tears in her eyes and an oh-so-sweet smile on her pretty young face, and Han felt as if his heart would burst right out of his chest. This good deed stuff really wasn't so bad.  
  
"I just can't believe this," she said tossing the box on the bed and then throwing her arms around Han's waist. He awkwardly hugged her and patted her back. "This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. I don't deserve all of this."  
  
Han instantly grabbed her arms and held her back at arm's length so he could look her in the eye. "Hey! I don't ever want to hear you say you don't deserve something, understand?" Tahiri was shocked at his stern reaction. "You deserve a lot more than a measly dress and a pair of shoes." His hands dropped and one came up to cup her chin. "You deserve to be happy, Tahiri, and I mean that. You're a good kid. You were good for Anakin and you're good for Jacen. Anybody tells you otherwise, just let me know," he finished with a grin and a pat on his trusty blaster.  
  
Oddly, Tahiri was deeply touched by Han Solo's attempt to console and comfort her. His presence was so strong—so overwhelming and yet it made her feel so protected and safe. He took a step back and moved to the door.  
  
"Well, then. That's settled. We'll send a speeder for you tomorrow night, so be ready. It'll be the time of your life," he added with one more Solo grin and a sly wink. Then he was gone.  
  
Tahiri took a deep breath and surveyed her room, her gaze finally coming to rest on the box sitting on her bed.  
  
"What in the Force just happened?!" she said aloud. In a matter of mere minutes, Han Solo had managed to convince her to not only attend a ball in honor of the woman who had taken Jacen away from her, but gotten her to agree to wear a pair of uncomfortable, sithly, high-heeled shoes!  
  
She was such a glutton for punishment.

* * *

By the time Jacen returned home to his small apartment, it was very late. He had worked until near dark to finish the camp's new dining hall, proud to step back and admire the accomplishment of his 'actions'. Then he took some time to eat a late meal on a nearby beach and enjoy the multi-colored sunset that graced the evening sky. He only wished Tahiri had been with him to see. She would have loved it, he knew, after hearing her describe some of the dual sunsets back on Tatooine.  
  
Now that his mind was clear, he felt no need to rush or fret anymore. He knew exactly what he would do tomorrow—or rather _today,_ he noted as he glanced down at his wrist chrono. Right now what he needed was a hot shower and a good night's sleep.  
  
He entered his quarters and made short work of removing his sweat-soaked shirt. It would need at least two cycles through the laundry to get that thing clean, he chuckled. He had forgotten to take his comm. unit along for the day, so he quickly listened to the messages waiting for him.  
  
There were several from his mother and she sounded frantic.  
  
"Jacen? Where are you? I need to talk to you, sweetheart. Please call me as soon as possible."  
  
Then there was one from his father, which sounded strangely suspicious. Jacen could tell when his old man was up to something since that happened to be most of the time.  
  
"Hey, kid. It's your dad. Have you talked to your mother yet?" Then a brief pause. "I hate these message things! Just call me back."  
  
Jacen laughed and pushed the button to hear the last message, hoping it was from Tahiri. He had missed hearing her decidedly feminine voice even if it had only been one day.  
  
No such luck.  
  
"Hi, Jace!"  
  
It was Jaina---and she sounded perkier than usual, like she knew something he didn't.  
  
"Have you talked to Mom yet?" He did a double take at his comm. unit upon hearing the exact same question his father had asked. "I tried to reach you with the Force, but you're blocking me again, aren't you?" she accused, sounding a bit miffed. She was right, though. He had been shielding from everyone to allow him time to work things out on his own. It figured his twin would be the one to realize it before anyone else.  
  
"Anyway," she drawled, back to her _'I-know-something-you-don't-know_ voice, "call me right away. I'm just so excited! I can't stand it!"  
  
Then a beep sounded to signal the end of his messages. Jacen was left standing shirtless in the middle of his room wondering what the Sith was going on. Glancing again at the time, he debated whether to call his parents at such a late hour, but knew he'd never sleep until he found out what had his family in such an uproar.  
  
The Solo's comm was answered even before the first series of alert tones finished sounding.  
  
"Jacen?!" came his mother's anxious voice.  
  
"Yeah, Mom. It's me. What's going on?"  
  
"Thank goodness!" she declared. "I've been trying to reach you all day. Where were you? Why didn't you have your comm.?"  
  
"I forgot to take--," he began to explain, only to be cut off in mid- sentence.  
  
"Never mind all that," Leia interrupted, dismissing his excuse. "I need you to come over right away. There's something we need to discuss."  
  
Jacen started to worry. "Is anybody hurt? Is it Tahiri? Is she okay?" he asked, feeling a knot form in his stomach. If anything happened to her while he'd been blocking everyone out through the Force, he'd never forgive himself.  
  
"Tahiri?" his mother repeated quizzically. Jacen wasn't present or he would have witnessed the look of confusion on Leia's face and the smile of satisfaction on Han's. "No, honey. She's fine and nobody's hurt."  
  
Jacen breathed a sigh of relief. "Then can't you just tell me what it is now? I really need a shower and some sleep. I'm beat."  
  
"No," Leia stated firmly. "This needs to be done in person, and I don't care if you smell. I used to change your dirty diapers, you know."  
  
It was no use. Resistance was futile when his mother got like this. He would be fighting a losing battle if he argued with her, and he was just too tired to fight.  
  
"Okay, Mom. I'll be there in a few minutes."  
  
Taking one last longing glance at the bed calling his name, he slipped his shirt back on and headed for his parents' place.

* * *

"Well?" Leia asked in anticipation. "What do you think?"  
  
She and Han were seated side by side on the sofa in their apartment watching and waiting for their son's response to the news that Tenel Ka, Hapan queen and one-time love of Jacen's teenage life, wanted to marry him.  
  
Jacen raked his work-hardened hands over his tanned face. "Wow. This is sudden--- and very unexpected," he stated quietly.  
  
Leia frowned. She had expected a different reaction, something a bit more... exuberant.  
  
He looked back over at his parents from his perch on the big easy chair. "And she actually asked you for consent?" he asked.  
  
Leia nodded an affirmation. "She said she would talk to you at the banquet," she clarified. "Jacen, maybe I shouldn't have said anything, but I thought it only fair that you have some time to think about this. Marriage is a serious proposition, and you didn't deserve to have it sprung on you all at once."  
  
Jacen glanced pleadingly at his father whose face showed an amazing amount of sympathy for his son. Obviously, Han hadn't told Leia about Jacen's feelings for Tahiri.  
  
Leia continued, laying a motherly hand on Jacen's knee. "You know your father and I would never interfere in your life by trying to persuade you to make one decision or another." Jacen noticed a sudden look of guilt flash across Han Solo's face and then just as quickly disappear. "However, we want you to know that we support whatever decision you make."  
  
A few more moments of silence passed and then Jacen said, "Does Jaina know about this?"  
  
Han and Leia looked guiltily at each other before Leia finally answered. "Yes. She happened to walk in on your father and me while we were discussing it this morning."  
  
Jacen smiled weakly. "So I'm the last one to know?"  
  
"Welcome to manhood, son," Han declared. "Get used to it." 


	21. Chapter 21

You Get Me ---Chapter 21   
  
Sleep had never been so sweet, Jacen Solo mused as he stretched contentedly in his warm cocoon of a bed, refusing to open his eyes just yet. He was hoping to catch one last glimpse of the tiny, barefoot blonde who had starred in his dreams and blessed him with his best night of rest in ages. Languidly, he finally rolled over and glanced sleepy-eyed at the chrono on his nightstand.  
  
"Sith!" he shouted nearly falling on his face as he stumbled out of bed. It was late...the latest he had slept in for quite some time. Most people were probably already having lunch and here he was just waking up. This was not good. He'd had a plan for the day, which involved finding Tahiri and getting his feelings right out in the open once and for all. Now that he knew for sure how he felt, he was anxious to find out Tahiri's sentiments, and even though he was a bit nervous about what she might say, he just couldn't wait any longer.  
  
It was time for some _action_.  
  
After throwing on some clothes, Jacen took off to find the girl he now realized had etched a permanent place in his heart. Unfortunately, she wasn't home when he got to her place. So he went to the next logical location, Camp Hope, figuring she would surely be there hard at work or chatting with E'marta, but still no Tahiri anywhere. By the time he finally made it back home, he had to start getting ready for the ball so that he wouldn't be late to his parents'. Leia insisted he go with her and Han.  
  
Standing inside his parents' living room, Jacen tugged for the hundredth time at the uncomfortable collar of the white shirt his mother picked out for him to wear.  
  
"Who made these things anyway? The _Sith_? This constant rubbing could drive a man insane!" Jacen complained as his mother came over and straightened his dark blue over-vest one more time.  
  
"See!" Han said triumphantly, swatting him on the back. "I'm not the only one, Leia."  
  
She playfully reached over to swat him and then continued fussing over her son. After a few more seconds of fidgeting, Leia stepped back to admire her efforts and clasped her hands together. The bright white of his shirt and deep blue of his vest contrasted perfectly with his bronzed skin and sun-streaked hair, a product of his selfless volunteer work at the refugee camp. His black pants fit just right and his black nerf-hide boots were polished to a shine.  
  
"You are so handsome, honey," she declared with a motherly smile. "You remind me so much of your father. I bet you looked a lot like him at that age, dear," she said to Han.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, sweetheart. Can we just get going now? The sooner we get there, the sooner I can get back home and get out of this shirt." Jacen grinned at his father who was now fiercely yanking at his own collar in discomfort. "You know how I hate dressing up."  
  
"Oh, okay. Just let me get my purse. I must have left it in our room."  
  
Han watched as his wife left, and when he was certain Leia was out of earshot, he turned and whispered to his son. "Don't say I never did anything for you, kid. Just _don't_ blow it tonight."  
  
Jacen stared at his father, totally confused, but he didn't get a chance to ask Han to explain because Leia was back and Han was already headed out the door.

* * *

The melodious strains of a lyrical Hapan symphony were being skillfully performed by one of Mon Calamari's finest orchestras as Jacen, along with his parents, stepped into the huge, airy banquet hall. The décor was displayed in understated elegance... the rule of thumb for a people who claimed the likes of the legendary Admiral Ackbar. The room was awash in every shade of blue imaginable so that Jacen felt almost like he was _underneath_ the sea instead of perched high on a cliff overlooking the ocean. This sprawling estate belonged to one of the wealthiest new members of the Galactic Alliance who had seen fit to offer it for such an honored occasion.  
  
It was like a scene from one of the children's bedtime stories Winter used to tell him and his siblings when they were younger. He smiled at the memory. Anakin had always groaned at the one where the heroic prince rescued the helpless princess, and they magically overcame all obstacles to live happily ever after. Jaina, on the other hand, would try to change the plot so that the princess rescued the prince instead. And Jacen would simply sit and listen to the story unfold, enjoying the soft accent of Winter's soothing voice, and imagine himself as the prince who got the girl _and_ the happy ending.  
  
He surveyed the hall looking one more time for his particular princess, disappointed to see no sign of her yet. Instead, he noticed people of various species in all shapes, sizes and colors, talking and partaking of the food and drinks being passed around by the serving droids. The Hapan entourage had not yet arrived, but Jacen was not the least bit nervous about seeing Tenel Ka. Should she really ask him to marry her, he already knew what his answer would be. It had settled calmly into his soul as he worked at the camp the day before, the Force letting him know its will on this particular matter with no uncertainty.  
  
And he liked that... liked certainty, simplicity, paths being clear and uncomplicated.  
  
However, while he wasn't nervous about Tenel Ka, he was a bit worried about what Tahiri would say, so he searched anxiously for her once again. He caught sight of many friends and acquaintances. Jaina and Jag were there, Jag still choosing not to touch Jaina more than necessary in public. Jacen stifled a laugh. Jag would need to get over that and fast if he planned on sticking around with Jaina. Many Jedi and their significant others were mingling among the crowd--- Corran and Mirax, Kyp Durron, Kenth Hamner, Lowbacca, Cilghal. Even Danni Quee caught the eye of Jacen and a number of other males standing nearby. She always managed to look lovely, but tonight his attention was promised to another.  
  
He just wished she would hurry up.

* * *

"Stupid shoes!" Tahiri swore under her breath adding a particularly vulgar Vong curse she hoped no one would understand nearly tripping over her feet for the third time since exiting the speeder. She continued to grumble, ignoring the few odd glances, and made her way into the banquet hall.  
  
_'I don't know what in the Force I was thinking agreeing to this,' _she thought to herself. It went against every ounce of her stubborn pride to show up at this ceremony for the Hapan queen. Not that Tahiri had anything personal against Tenel Ka. In fact, there had been a time when Tahiri was younger that she admired and idolized the Hapan girl who was unbelievably strong and brave even after losing her arm. Even now, she couldn't bring herself to dislike the redhead—except for the fact that Tenel Ka was coming between her and any chance she had with Jacen.  
  
Maybe it was due to some hidden desire for self-inflicted pain and disappointment that brought Tahiri to the banquet. Perhaps it was a sense of obligation to Leia and Han Solo for all they had done for her. Or maybe she simply wanted to see Jacen one last time before finally shutting him out of her life for good.  
  
Plus, there was the dress.  
  
Never could she have chosen a more perfect dress than Leia had. Tahiri reminded herself to thank the older woman for her thoughtfulness as soon as she saw her. Glancing down she admired the flowing hem that fluttered just above her knees; the fabric so unbelievably fluid as it shifted with her every move. The color was such an unusual blue—as pale as the full moon hanging above in the starry Mon Cal sky with just a hint of sparkle to catch and refract any light and transform the wearer into a living, breathing jewel. The instant Tahiri had slipped it over her head and let the silky fabric cascade luxuriously down her body; she had been thoroughly and utterly transformed.  
  
No longer was she a scruffy, little ragamuffin in a nondescript flight suit. No...tonight Tahiri Veila looked and felt like ...a _princess_.

* * *

  
  
Han checked his chrono one more time wondering what was keeping Tahiri. He had gone out on a limb to set this evening up just right, but if she did not show, all of his hard work—and embarrassing shopping-- would be for nothing.  
  
He glanced to his left. There was Jacen making small talk with Kenth and Cilghal and pulling on his collar... again. Straight ahead, Leia was chatting with Cal Omas, and for once Han was grateful not to be by her side forced to listen to all that bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo. Jaina and Jagged Fel were munching on some appetizers and sharing a laugh with Kyp Durron who looked unusually well groomed for a change. He'd have to compliment the kid later for cleaning up so well.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Solo," came a voice from behind him.  
  
Han spun around and a huge grin spread across his worn face. "Hey, Tahiri! You made it. I was beginning to think you'd chickened out on me." His smile faded instantly. "And what did I tell you about calling me 'mister'?" he teased.  
  
"Sorry," she said, but Han brushed her apology aside and stepped back to take a good look at the girl. "You look great, kid!"  
  
She smiled demurely. "Thanks, Mr.—um, Han," she replied awkwardly. "I'm still getting used to these shoes, though," she added sticking one foot out to study the fancy yet uncomfortable shoe.  
  
_'Good,'_ Han thought. _'Now to make sure Jacen sees her.'_ As she continued her diatribe about the evils of footwear, Han looked inconspicuously for his son. Jacen had moved away from his previous location, but Han finally spotted him enjoying a drink while listening to some government blowhard whose mouth was running a click a parsec. Han smiled proudly. Leia was right. Their son was a handsome devil, just like his old man. Yes, despite Han and Jacen's many disagreements over the years, it seemed lately as if they were growing closer...developing a less hostile relationship and Han liked it. And that's why tonight just had to be perfect.  
  
_There._  
  
Jacen must have sensed Han looking and nodded in recognition. _'Good...good,'_ Han thought. Then it happened. Jacen saw her, and Han wished he had a holocam handy to capture the look on the boy's face. It was priceless.

* * *

Jacen had no clue what the man had been talking about because as soon as he saw Tahiri standing on the raised entry dais with his father, he didn't remember a single word that was spoken.  
  
_Tahiri.  
_  
She was an enchanting vision in her simple, glittering dress---an angel, if ever there was one. All it took was one glimpse and he knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that she was meant for him. Tahiri may have started out on a path with Anakin, but, for some reason, the Force had seen fit to bring them both to this place at this particular point in time, and who was _**he**_ to try to change the will of the Force?  
  
An overwhelming urgency engulfed Jacen. He had to get to her. In one swift gulp, he swallowed down the rest of his drink, thrust the empty glass into the overly verbose man's hand, and took off toward his destiny in a blue dress.

* * *

Han bit back a laugh as Jacen knocked back the remains of his drink, shoved the drained glass at the poor clod next to him, and started determinedly toward Han and Tahiri. He grinned and rubbed his hands together in satisfaction. Returning his attention to the still rambling Tahiri, he noticed she was oblivious to the attention she was receiving from not only Jacen but several others as well.  
  
"...have to remember to thank your wife for sending this dress. I really like it," she concluded waiting for Han to respond.  
  
"What?" Han muttered. He, of course, had not been listening to her, so lost in his own machinations for the evening. However, he recovered quickly. "Oh. yeah, yeah. Leia's around here somewhere. Hey, look. Here comes Jacen," he announced and then stepped aside so Tahiri could she his son approaching. Han studied the strange look on her face and couldn't quite decipher what it revealed, but he definitely recognized the desirous and resolute glint in Jacen's eyes.  
  
It was all proceeding according to his plan.

* * *

Tahiri Veila prided herself on being tough. How could she not be after all the hardship she'd had in her life? So it surprised her when her knees started to wobble the minute she saw Jacen Solo heading her way. _'Is it possible,'_ she wondered, _'to faint just because a man looked so blasted handsome in dress clothes?'  
_  
He was smiling like his father as he weaved in and out through the throng, and she couldn't help but smile in return. Not that she wanted to, but somehow, Jacen was able to make her feel and do things she knew she shouldn't. _That_ was dangerous and precisely the reason she absolutely had to keep her head tonight. His power over her had to be stopped before her heart was completely ripped to shreds. Willing her knees to stand firm, Tahiri braced herself as he stepped up on the dais and stopped right in front of her.  
  
"Hey," he said with a quick, masculine perusal of the young woman in front of him. Only Han noticed how Jacen took in every inch of her from head to toe.

"Shoes," Jacen added casually. "You're wearing shoes."  
  
_'Brilliant,'_ Han thought sarcastically. _'Where'd the kid learn that lame pick-up line?'  
  
_Tahiri blushed. "Yeah, well, I figured I'd give them a try for such a special occasion."  
  
Jacen suddenly seemed awkward and unsure. "They look..._nice_. You...look..._nice_," he stammered.  
  
_'Nice?'_ Han groaned inwardly and rolled his eyes. The boy had that over- sized, philosophical Jedi brain and all he could come up with was '_nice'_? Sheesh! This was going to be harder than he anticipated.  
  
"Thanks," Tahiri replied. "You look nice, too."  
  
"Well, this collar is killing me!" Jacen exclaimed. "I can't wait to get this shirt off."  
  
Han noticed the bright red blush that crept up Tahiri's neck and onto her face. Was she envisioning Jacen shirtless? He grinned.  
  
"Are you complaining about that shirt again, Jacen?" Leia asked as she walked up to join the trio. "If you keep pulling at that thing, you'll stretch it out of shape."  
  
"Sorry, Mom," Jacen apologized giving her a quick hug. "Still love me?"  
  
"You know I do," she answered. Man, was she a pushover when it came to her kids, Han thought. Leia turned her gaze to Tahiri then. "Tahiri, you look so lovely tonight. That dress suits you so well."  
  
Tahiri beamed with pride. "Thank you, Leia. And thanks for sending it over. I don't know what I would've done if it wasn't for you."  
  
Han immediately noted the look of utter confusion on his wife's face and warning claxons blared in his head. _Red alert! Red alert!_ He had to get her away before she ruined everything.  
  
"But Tahiri, I didn't--," Leia began, but she was quickly interrupted by Han's firm hand on her elbow motioning her away.  
  
"Look, honey. There's Luke and Mara waving us over. It must be important," he waved back at no one in particular.  
  
Leia glanced around searching for her brother. "Where? I don't see them."  
  
"Just come with me, sweetheart," Han said as he dragged her away from the younger couple.  
  
She was cute, but she sure was trouble.

* * *

Jacen couldn't seem to take his eyes off of Tahiri and she couldn't seem to meet his gaze.  
  
"So," he said.  
  
"So," she replied shyly.  
  
"Are you hungry? Thirsty? There's a ton of food in there," he said offering his arm.  
  
Tahiri knew she should refuse and run the other way, but was helpless to resist. "Sure. That sounds good. I haven't eaten since this morning." So she looped her arm through his and they made their way to the food tables further into the great hall.  
  
_'Don't screw this up, Solo,'_ Jacen ordered himself. '_Don't seem so desperate. You might scare her. No, you have to ease into this... but get it done tonight!'  
_  
After loading up with a variety of delicacies to try, Jacen spoke first. "So, where have you been for the past two days?" He popped an unidentified crunchy object into his mouth and tried to appear casual so as not to give away the fact that he'd been miserable without her around. "I checked your apartment, the camp."  
  
"You did?" Tahiri questioned in disbelief just as she took a bite of sweet amora fruit. She looked up at Jacen and quickly swallowed the rest.  
  
Jacen bit back a chuckle. She didn't realize that a bit of fruit was stuck on the corner of her lip, so he decided to help her remove it. Reaching out his hand, he gently rubbed his thumb across her bottom lip and felt her surprised gasp of air brush across his finger as he did so. A sudden shock surged through his system at the sensations such a simple touch evoked. He swallowed hard.  
  
"You, um, had a, uh...piece of...fruit on your...lip," he said, his husky voice betraying his utter lack of composure. He was quite thoroughly mesmerized by Tahiri's beautiful green eyes and the feel of her soft, velvet lips under his fingertip that he failed to realize he was still touching her until she had pulled back. "I...I missed you," he admitted, dropping his hand self-consciously back to his side. "At the camp, it just wasn't the same without you there. No one else laughs at my jokes the way you do. You're the only one who gets me—I mean, gets my jokes," he blundered.  
  
_'What is your problem, Solo?'_ he scolded inwardly. Only moments ago he had been so sure of himself and what he would say. Now he was babbling on like some idiot. Is this what his father had meant about all men making fools of themselves over a woman at some point in their lives?

* * *

What was he trying to say? Tahiri wondered. And that touch! What was that about? A jolt of awareness had sparked between them as soon as his finger touched her lip. It was undeniable. Part of her leaped at the possibilities his words and touch implied, but to read too much into them would only lead her to more heartbreak, so she fought against the hope swelling within. She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand to make sure no more remnants of food remained.  
  
"I've been ...around," she replied. "I had some things to do...places to go... you know. I just needed a break." 'Before _I _break,' she added in her mind.

* * *

Jacen's face fell along with his heart, if only for a moment, when he heard her words. _'I just needed a break,_' she had said when what she probably meant was, _'I need a break from you, Jacen Solo.'_ Had he mistaken her smiles and looks? the tenderness he had begun to see reciprocated in her actions toward him? Yes, at first she had disliked him, resented him, found him to be a nuisance, but hadn't she changed that opinion after all the time they'd spent together?  
  
Well, no matter. He was going to profess his feelings for her tonight one way or another.  
  
Just then, a loud commotion diverted everyone's attention to the entry dais where a herald was announcing the arrival of the Hapan company. The large group of attendants and guards, all richly attired for the event, entered followed by the queen, resplendent in her gown of varying shades of violet and lavender, long red hair flowing in a halo of silky curls around her beautiful face. She appeared to be searching the crowd of onlookers, eyes scanning until she found who she was looking for.  
  
Jacen felt startled when her gaze landed on him. She offered a slight smile, the only kind she ever gave, and whispered something into her bodyguard's ear. The woman nodded and returned to her post.  
  
Tenel Ka made a brief pronouncement to declare her pleasure at being able to align and assist the Galactic Alliance in fighting to rid the galaxy of the threat the Yuuzhan Vong posed. It was short, efficient, and ended in applause from every corner of the banquet hall. Next, Cal Omas made a simple speech of his own, as befitted a head of state, and then declared the start of the ball. The orchestra began to play a lively tune, and couples took to the floor in droves, while those who were still busy eating moved off to the sides.  
  
Jacen glanced back at Tahiri. "Do you want to dance?" he asked, setting his plate down on the table behind them. If he could get her out on the dance floor alone, maybe then he could tell her.  
  
She looked slightly dismayed. "I don't think I know how," she replied. "I've never danced like this before...with a partner." He loved it when she acted a bit shy. It belied the fearless young woman she tried to portray.  
  
"Well, I don't know how either, really, so we'll do what my dad always says to do in situations like this." He paused to grin and adjust his voice to match that of Han Solo. "Just act like you know what you're doing and nobody will know the difference." Then he offered her his hand.  
  
Tahiri laughed. "That sounds like something your father would say," and she hesitantly put her hand in his.  
  
They moved to the middle of the floor in between the other dancers and Jacen slid one hand behind her waist, savoring the feel of her bare back against his palm. When she looked up at him with that expression on her face—the one that said, _'please be careful with me'_—he pulled her even closer, wanting nothing more than to do just that. She deserved to be cherished, and he wanted to be the one to do it.

* * *

Han Solo grinned from ear to ear as he watched his son dancing with Tahiri. There was something so right about those two together, he admitted happily. Too much sorrow and pain had infiltrated all of their lives for the past few years. It was time for some sweeter feelings...some goodness.  
  
Force, was he getting soft in his old age!  
  
He sighed. Oh, well. Better soft than old and cracked.  
  
He glanced over at his wife whose attention was being usurped by some other political wannabe. In a moment, he returned his gaze to his son, and the bottom dropped out of his heart. Tenel Ka's behemoth of a bodyguard was interrupting Jacen and Tahiri, saying something to him so that his previous look of rapture turned to a frown of indifferent resolve. He said something to Tahiri, who nodded and looked turned out, and then he left her standing alone in the middle of the swaying crowd.  
  
This was not good. 


	22. Chapter 22

You Get Me ---- chapter 22

* * *

  
Tahiri sighed and her shoulders slumped in defeat as she watched Jacen escorted from the dance floor by a very large and very frightening Hapan guard.  
  
"The Queen requests your presence in her chambers at this time," the woman had said in her oddly low voice. Tahiri still had her doubts that these Hapan guards were really females and not men in drag.  
  
Jacen's smile had instantly vanished, and Tahiri thought she had noticed a hint of annoyance flash in his dark eyes. But yet he had dropped his hands from around her waist leaving a patch of lonely and cold skin on her back and walked off leaving Tahiri alone.

"I'll be back," he had mouthed over his shoulder as he walked away. She had offered a small smile and wave, while what she wanted to do was tackle him to the ground, cuff his hands and feet and haul him off with her. And then, when she had him all to herself, she would...she would...  
  
Well, she wasn't too sure what she would do _exactly_, or why she had even had that particular violent urge. She decided to chalk it up to more of that wonderful Vong shaping and quickly removed herself from the midst of the dancing crowd.

* * *

"Jacen, it is good to see you."  
  
Jacen smiled and admired the vision in front of him. The woman was surely one of the most beautiful in the galaxy with her red-gold tresses cascading gently over her shoulders and her slender, well-shaped legs protruding temptingly from the flowing dress she wore. The thin shimmering fabrics of her regal garment were a study in shades of lavender contrasting perfectly with her hair.  
  
"You look absolutely amazing, Tenel Ka," he finally exclaimed. "It appears it's good to be the queen."  
  
She nearly cracked a smile, but restrained herself, as usual. "It has its advantages, yes. Please, come and sit down." She motioned to a plush sofa, and they both moved to take a seat. All the while, the queen's two bodyguards, one of which was the fierce warrior he had noticed upon her arrival, observed the proceedings warily from the background. All men were suspect, in their opinion. Their presence made Jacen a little uncomfortable, but he understood the protocol. He just hoped he wouldn't have to decline Tenel Ka's offer of marriage in front of them. That might be a bit awkward for his old friend.  
  
"Jaina told me what happened in Hapes with your grandmother," he began solemnly, trying to ignore the fact that he was being watched as if he were a criminal. "And I'm so sorry about your mother."  
  
A brief flash of sorrow showed in Tenel Ka's eyes before she replied. "Thank you. Becoming queen was not a position I desired, as you know. However, it was necessary for me to accept for the good of my people."  
  
"I understand completely," Jacen said. "Sometimes the paths we end up on are not the ones we originally intend to travel. I hope the Hapans realize how lucky they are to have you." With his last statement, he reached over and placed his hand on her arm, offering a sincere smile. Tenel Ka stared down at his strong hand for several seconds and then abruptly ordered her guards to go.  
  
"Leave us," she commanded. The two muscular women hesitated to leave their post, so she repeated herself more firmly. "I said, leave us."  
  
Jacen sensed their confusion and the anxiety emanating from his friend, and attempted to ease the tension. "I assure you ladies, she is safe with me. I know better than to try anything with your queen. She could easily kick my rear end from here to Hoth," he admitted with a Solo grin.  
  
That seemed to do the trick because the two bowed curtly to their queen and hastily exited the chamber. When the door slid shut behind the two women, Tenel Ka heaved a sigh of relief and suddenly looked weary and worn.  
  
"Much better," she declared. "I have no privacy anymore, Jacen. My life is not my own."  
  
Jacen chuckled. "My mother would tell you that lack of privacy is a sign of growing up."  
  
"That is a fact," she responded with a tiny smile. "But it does not mean I have to like it." She studied his face closely, noting the many differences since she had seen him last. "You have changed greatly, Jacen Solo."  
  
He gazed thoughtfully back at her. "As have you," he countered.  
  
"For so long I believed you were gone. All of us believed it was so, except, of course, for your mother. Tell me what happened to you."  
  
He inhaled deeply and slapped his thighs. "All right. You want the short version or the long?" Leaning back into the sofa at her silent prod to share, he began with the last time he had seen Tenel Ka with the Myrkr strike team and unraveled the mystery of his disappearance, tempering his tale to spare her the gruesome details. She listened intently, several times appearing to almost lose her composure, but remained silent and unmoved. When he finished, she said nothing but reached out with her hand to briefly brush his cheek.  
  
"So strong," she muttered softly gazing into his deep brown eyes.  
  
"I don't know about that. There were many times I would have gladly welcomed death."  
  
"And yet here you are, and with your silly sense of humor still in tact," she teased.  
  
He smiled bashfully and looked away for a moment. "Some may think I should be more serious after all I've been through," he explained, "but I choose to focus on the good in life. I've seen way too much of the bad. My family and friends mean more to me now than ever before."  
  
"And me?" she asked hopefully with a lift of her eyebrow.  
  
Jacen flashed her a lopsided grin. "I think you know how I feel about you, Tenel Ka. You are a true friend," he paused, "and my first love."  
  
She smiled widely then, a rare occurrence, and then straightened in her seat, bracing herself for what she was about to do. "I am glad to hear you say such things," she began, "for there is something I wish to speak to you about." Then she stood up and started pacing back and forth.  
  
Jacen almost interrupted to tell her that he already knew, but he didn't get the chance.  
  
"War is such an unstable time," she began hastily. "People are anxious about themselves and their world. It is important for leaders to be examples of stability in order to breed calm throughout their constituency." She halted to shoot him an awkward glance before returning to her carefully prepared speech.  
  
"Many of my advisors feel that I can do a more effective job of fostering an image of stability if I make but a single change in my life."  
  
Here she paused again, stopping right in front of Jacen who was listening to her every word, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "And this change would be...?" he coaxed, already knowing the answer.  
  
"A husband," she stated plainly.  
  
Jacen bit back a chuckle. This had to be killing her. "That's a simple change?" he asked, feigning innocence. She nodded, studying his response. Then he leaned back and spread his arms across the back of the sofa. "So, who's the lucky guy?" He couldn't help it. Part of him enjoyed seeing the queen of calm squirming in her shoes.  
  
Tenel Ka took a deep breath and squared her shoulders before answering, "You."  
  
"Me?" he said calmly.  
  
"Yes, Jacen. If I must choose a companion, there is none other but you that I can think of to have."  
  
Something about the way she worded her explanation sounded out of tune to him, as if it was rehearsed and only being spoken out of a sense of duty. He would have to answer very carefully. She was a special person to him and he didn't want to injure her feelings or her pride. Rising up to stand eye to eye with Tenel Ka, the Queen of the Hapes Cluster, Jacen realized how tightly tethered to duty she was and immediately felt overwhelmed with compassion.  
  
"Tenel Ka," he said placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, "I am honored beyond measure."  
  
Her face looked hopeful. "So you will accept my offer?"  
  
Jacen smiled and took a deep breath. "You know there was a time I dreamed of this very thing happening. Of course, we weren't wearing as many clothes... Oh, those boyhood fantasies!" he snickered.  
  
"You are making light of this," she said irritably.  
  
"No, no. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have. Old habits are hard to break, I suppose." Then he became deadly serious. "Tenel Ka, do you want to marry me because you love me and can't live without me? Or is it simply one more item on your queen's 'to-do' list?" She looked away from him and he forced her to look at him again with a light touch of his fingers under her chin. "I will always love you, but I think you know that I cannot marry you." Her face instantly fell and he nudged it up again. "Our lives have diverged into two totally different paths. Yours has taken you to Hapes while mine," he paused and dropped his hand. "Well, I'm not entirely sure where mine is taking me yet, but I do know that it is not meant for us to be husband and wife. Surely you know this, as well, deep down."  
  
She nodded slightly and whispered, "That is a fact."  
  
"I don't want to hurt you," he continued, his own heart breaking at having to break another's. "You are and always will be a very special person to me, Tenel Ka. Always." Another little smile curved her lips, and he tenderly caressed the side of her face. "Have faith. When you are truly ready, you will find whom you are meant to be with, and when you do, you won't have to force yourself to be with him out of a sense of duty to your people. It will be because you have found real love."  
  
Tenel Ka studied his face intently. "Your journey has taught you much, Jacen Solo. Wisdom suits you," she remarked.  
  
He snorted. "I wish I could practice what I preach," he remarked.  
  
Tenel Ka raised an eyebrow in observation. "There is someone else," she stated, not asked.  
  
At first he was surprised she had read him so easily, but then she was always able to cut through the fluff and get to the heart of a matter. He simply nodded and said, "Yes, there is."  
  
Tenel Ka inhaled deeply and laid her hand on his chest. "Then she is very lucky."  
  
Jacen stepped closer to her, the woman who had been his childhood crush, and lightly pressed his lips to hers. It was the kiss of a friend, the kiss of something that might have been more had life not thrust them onto different paths with different responsibilities. In just a moment, Jacen pulled away, gazing into her emerald eyes.  
  
"It was good to see you, Tenel Ka."  
  
"Be well," she said, gifting him with one of her rare smiles, "and may the Force be with you."  
  
"And with you," he replied, quickly giving her hand a warm squeeze. Then he turned to leave without looking back. Regrets would do him no good, so he refused to entertain them. The two guards were right outside the door and immediately slipped back into the room upon his departure.  
  
He doubted his friend was too disappointed at his refusal of her proposal. She would soon realize it was the right decision. For now he had other responsibilities to tend to. He wanted to continue learning and teaching about the new Force revelations his experience with the Vong had given him. He wanted to spend more time with his family and friends, especially Tahiri. With her, he wanted much more...he needed much more.  
  
His feet picked up the pace as he moved down the corridors eager to get back to Tahiri.  
  
It was time. 


	23. Chapter 23

You Get Me --- Chapter 23

* * *

Tahiri wondered how long Jacen had been gone. It could not have been more than twenty minutes or so, but it felt like an eternity. Thankfully, she spotted Tekli, a fellow Jedi who had tended Tahiri after their flight from the disaster on Myrkr, and was able to pass some of the time in friendly conversation. All too soon, however, Tekli had begged her leave, and Tahiri was once again alone.  
  
Standing there watching the mass of people enjoying the food, dancing and hum of the throng, Tahiri realized how accustomed to Jacen's presence she had become over the past weeks. His companionship had wiggled its way past her defenses and inconspicuously settled itself into her life, so much so that being without him left her somewhat at a loss...like a piece of her was missing.  
  
Now, Jacen was gone, in a private meeting with Tenel Ka, a woman he had loved since childhood, and Tahiri felt a pang of something dark and unfamiliar.  
  
_Jealousy._  
  
She was jealous that Jacen was with Tenel Ka and not her. It was not a pleasant feeling, and Tahiri knew she must purge it from her system soon. She needed a distraction.  
  
Surveying the huge reception hall, she finally found a familiar face. Jaina Solo was deep in a discussion with Jag Fel and Kyp Durron, the two men flanking her, as usual, one on each side. Although they both towered over Jaina in stature, it was plain to see that she was clearly in charge of the conversation. Tahiri smiled. Jaina would never believe it if Tahiri told her how like Leia she was becoming. Chatting with Jaina and her 'subjects' would kill some more time as she waited for Jacen's return and also provide some entertainment as she watched Jaina skillfully banter with her former master.  
  
As she approached from behind the trio, none of them saw her coming. She'd had to navigate her way through the clumps of other mingling guests to get to them, so, unfortunately, neither one of them thought to cease their present course of discussion for her sake.  
  
"Jacen's getting _married_?" Kyp Durron said in disbelief, the drink in his hand frozen in midair.  
  
Tahiri froze, as well, and quickly hid behind a nearby group of partygoers so that she could listen without being noticed.  
  
"Yeah! Can you believe it?" Jaina replied excitedly. "In fact, that's where he is right now...with Tenel Ka. She's supposed to ask him tonight."  
  
Kyp chuckled and took a quick sip of his drink. "What a rough life," he mused, "being the royal consort of a beautiful queen...at her every beck and call...at the mercy of her every whim and fantasy. Man, some guys get all the luck!"  
  
Jaina rolled her eyes and then Jag Fel asked the very question screaming in Tahiri's brain, "Are you sure he'll accept her offer?"  
  
Jaina glared at him incredulously. "Are you kidding? Jacen's been crazy about her so long that I wouldn't be surprised if the ceremony takes place before the Hapans leave in two days."  
  
"What about Tahiri?" Kyp asked.  
  
Jaina looked confused. "What about her?"  
  
Kyp explained. "I thought she and he were, you know...an 'item'."  
  
"Jacen and Tahiri?" Jaina repeated in surprise. "No...no. They're just friends."  
  
"They've been spending an awful lot of time together," Jag added.  
  
Jaina turned to look at the tall Chiss pilot. "Well, that's because Jacen promised Anakin he'd look after her before he died. He's been helping her deal with Anakin's death. She's been his little _'project'_ since he got back. And you know Jacen...he sticks with a project until it's finished. But there's nothing else between them. He's _my_ twin, so I think I'd know."  
  
Tahiri's heart may as well have stopped beating right then and there because it had just been ripped out, wrung out and shredded into a million painful pieces.  
  
Jacen found he had to force himself to not run back to the main hall. Resolving matters with Tenel Ka relieved a great burden from his heart and mind. She was a dear friend and he was happy to have been able to leave things so well between them. Now he was left with a sense of freedom and eagerness to move forward with his life...  
  
...And hopefully a certain someone would be willing to take that step with him.

* * *

The instant Jacen stepped foot back into the hall, Han Solo was at his side.  
  
"So, how'd it go, kid?"  
  
"Surprisingly well."  
  
Han looked unsure as he studied his son. "You're not...? You didn't agree to...you know?"  
  
Jacen grinned and patted his father on the back. "No, Dad. I'm not and I didn't. At least, not her and not now. Maybe someday though. I would love to have what you and Mom have, but I'm not quite ready to take that big of a step just yet."  
  
Han breathed a huge sigh of relief and smiled. "Good. Good. No need to rush." Then he leaned close and whispered, "Besides, you know how I feel about those Hapans."  
  
Jacen stifled a laugh. "Yeah, Dad. I know. Um, where's Tahiri?" he asked sweeping his gaze over the large crowd searching for the pretty young blonde whom he so desperately wanted to see. Finally, he spotted her at the far end of the great hall only a few feet away from his sister and her two male companions. "I see her," he announced with a smile, and turned to his father. "Wish me luck."  
  
"Just pour on the old Solo charm and she'll be eating out of your hand, kid," Han teased with a return smack on Jacen's back.  
  
Just as Jacen started down the stairs of the dais, he saw Tahiri abruptly turn away and begin to push her way forcefully through the crowd. In a moment, she made it out of the banquet hall and headed out of a set of large doors, which Jacen assumed led out into some of the estate's gardens. He glanced back up at his father who had also observed the whole scene, an equally distressed look showing on both men's faces.  
  
"What do you think happened?" he asked Han.  
  
Han, who was already on the move, said, "I don't know, but you'd better go after her. Come on!"

* * *

It was so hot.  
  
She couldn't breathe.  
  
She had to get some fresh air, but all these blasted people were in her way!  
  
Finally, she made it out of the hindering mob and ran out the first set of doors she came to. Tahiri halted momentarily to suck in a gasp of the cool, salt-tinged, ocean air, letting it fill her lungs, as she warred with the whirlwind of emotions churning inside her.  
  
_Jacen getting married?...A promise to Anakin?... She was nothing but a 'project'?  
_  
It was all too much. The anger and sadness she'd felt after Anakin's death came flooding back into her soul and she felt like she might shatter into a thousand pieces.  
  
"I have to get out of here," she told herself as she looked around for an escape route. The doors had led to a large patio of sorts with a massive glitterstone fountain as the focal point. Several stone paths wound around the area weaving in and around the various lush plant and flower gardens illuminated by burning torches. Straight ahead was a low, stone wall that stretched from left to right as far as she could see.  
  
"So, no way out," she snorted disgustedly, "except by going back in, which is so not going to happen!"  
  
She walked over to the wall and peered over. It was a long way down; nothing but jagged rocks and choppy waves lay at the bottom but maybe...  
  
"I wonder if I could—"  
  
"Don't even think about it, Tahiri."  
  
She whirled around to face the speaker, her heart racing in her chest.  
  
"You'd never make it," he added.  
  
She crossed her arms and thrust her chin up in the air. "How do you know? Maybe I would make it. Besides, there's no other way out and there's no way I'm going back in there!" she exclaimed, pointing toward the open doors.  
  
"Not having a good time?" he asked sarcastically only to be answered with an angry glare.  
  
"Why are you here? And what do you want? Checking to make sure your brother is keeping his promise?" she spouted caustically.  
  
"Ah...so you know about that."  
  
"Yes, I know." Tears burned her eyes. "How could you, Anakin?! How could you do such a thing? How could you leave me alone and then make your brother promise to look after me like some pathetic little girl? I feel like such an idiot!" She stomped to the fountain and sat down on the edge to hang her head in her hands.  
  
Anakin moved to sit beside her, the pale blue of his Force apparition a near match for Tahiri's dress. "You're not an idiot, Tahiri," he soothed. "You're wonderful and vibrant, and you deserve to live and be happy."  
  
Several tears began rolling down her cheeks. "And how am I supposed to do that?" she snapped. "With you gone, and Jacen—" She stopped before saying more.  
  
Anakin smiled. "Tahiri, you already _are_ living and finding happiness." She looked up at him in confusion. "I know that maybe you can't see it yet, but everything's working out for the best."  
  
She snorted and threw her hands up in the air. "Yeah, Jacen's marrying Tenel Ka and I'm all alone---_again_. How much better can things get?"  
  
Anakin studied the mixture of emotions playing on her face and then said, "You love him." It was a statement, not a question, and it caught Tahiri off guard.  
  
"Yes," she finally answered after a few seconds of careful contemplation. "Yes, I think I do. Are you angry?" she asked, suddenly aware of whom she was talking to.  
  
Anakin shook his head. "No, I'm not angry. True, your falling in love wasn't _exactly_ what I had in mind when I asked Jacen to look after you, but now I understand that it was supposed to happen that way. Everything works together for good."  
  
"_Good_?!" Tahiri yelled. "What's good about it? Jacen has only spent time with me as a favor to you, while I've managed to fall in love with yet another Solo who'll soon be gone from my life. So tell me, Anakin, what's good about it?" She seemed to lose steam and then whispered, "If only you hadn't died."  
  
Anakin silenced her with his fingers over her mouth. "Don't. Wishing for the impossible is a waste of time, Tahiri, and only keeps you mired in the past. Sure, I thought that we were destined to be together once upon a time. But now that I'm here, I see that I was never your final destination. I was just a stop on your way... your way to Jacen." Anakin paused and glanced toward the doors, an all too familiar lopsided grin spreading across his ethereal face.  
  
"And here he comes."  
  
As soon as the last word was spoken, Anakin's image dissipated into a shimmer of twinkling lights and was gone.

* * *

"She went that way," Han said, pointing toward the open doors in front of him. It had taken he and Jacen several minutes to traverse the obstacles of the crowded dance floor, which included being waylaid by a near drunken Lando Calrissian who wanted to know why they were in such a hurry.  
  
"Can it, pal. The kid's got urgent business with a woman," Han explained quietly.  
  
A sly smirk spread across the old smuggler's dark face. "Well, now, far be it from me to come between a man and his lady." Jacen blushed and then turned to look anxiously toward the doors. After taking another drink, Lando asked, "May I inquire as to the identity of the lucky girl who has captured the attention of our young Mr. Solo?"  
  
"No, you may not," Han answered bluntly, already pushing Jacen further toward their goal. "Look, we don't have time to chit chat, Lando."  
  
"All right! All right, old buddy," Lando called as the two Solos walked away. "But you owe me a drink later!"  
  
Now they were standing in the doorway, and as Jacen and Han peered into the barely lit garden they could just make out the shape of someone sitting by the fountain. Jacen turned back to Han and took a deep breath.  
  
"It's her."  
  
Han nodded and put a hand on Jacen's shoulder. "Go get her, son. I'll make sure no one interrupts this time."  
  
Jacen smiled and said, "Thanks, Dad."  
  
"No problem." The two men stood there looking at one another, the bond of parent and child changing naturally to that of two friends. "I love you, Jacen," Han finally said, wondering regretfully when the last time he had said those words to Jacen had been.  
  
"I know. I love you, too."  
  
Han felt the moisture pool in his eyes, so he hastily patted Jacen on the back and urged him out the door. "May the Force be with you." Jacen laughed before facing front and starting his trek to the fountain. Han watched as he walked away and then grabbed the handles of the doors, pulling them shut with a soft click. Once inside he turned around and planted himself directly in front of both doors, pasting on a grim look that would hopefully keep anyone from even thinking about trying to get past him. Both of those kids deserved to be happy, and he would do whatever it took to give them that chance.

* * *

He appeared at the doorway the instant Anakin had vanished. She quickly turned away to wipe her eyes and gather her wits. Jacen Solo would not get the satisfaction of seeing her cry over him. He may have made her feel like a fool, but he'd never know.  
  
"Tahiri?" he called softly.  
  
She braced herself and stood to face him, anger and embarrassment fueling her courage. As he came closer, she could make out his infuriating smile and handsome face in the moonlight. It irked her to admit that she now thought him even more attractive than Anakin, and fought back the urge to smack him for making her feel that way.  
  
"I've been looking for you."  
  
"Have you?" she said curtly, a cold expression spread across her face belying the heat in her soul.  
  
Jacen halted and narrowed his gaze to study her face. "Are you okay?" he asked, sounding genuinely concerned. If only she didn't know better.  
  
Ignoring his question, she declared, "I suppose congratulations are in order."  
  
"What?" he replied in confusion.  
  
She rolled her eyes in exasperation. "Don't play dumb with me, Jacen. I know about your wedding." A look of relief showed on his features and he took a step closer causing her to take a step back. "And I know all about the promise you made to Anakin," she added angrily.  
  
"Oh," he replied in a whisper.  
  
"Yes..._oh_," she repeated, feeling her temper rise. "So, have you finished your '_mission_' to save me from my pit of despair? Tell me, has all the time and effort you've wasted on me been worth it? Do you feel exonerated of all obligations to your brother now?"  
  
"It's not--," he reached out a hand toward her and she brushed it away.  
  
"Don't," she stated firmly. "I really don't want to hear your sorry explanations and apologies. You're only sorry I found out." She turned away from him and hugged her arms around her chest. "I should have followed my first instinct and stayed away from you. It would have been better that way. You wouldn't have had to pretend to like me and I wouldn't have--," she cut herself off and glanced back at him over her shoulder. Then she spun back around to face him, her jaw set with determination and fire in her green eyes.  
  
"I'm not a child, you know. I have feelings that can be hurt and I didn't need your help. I would have been just fine if you hadn't butted into my life and made me lo--," here she silenced herself yet again before she said too much. He was staring at her with those deep brown eyes that she could so easily melt into, and she felt the tears start to well. It was time for her to get away from him.  
  
"You know what I wish?" she asked quietly. "I wish it had been _you_ instead of him." The look of absolute shock on his face was somehow satisfying. She pushed past him and stormed back toward the doors. At this particular moment in time, she'd rather face the crowd than Jacen Solo.  
  
Just as her fingers touched the door handle, a strong hand wrapped itself around her arm and yanked her backwards. Jacen spun her around to face him and, before she knew it, his mouth was covering hers in an urgent kiss that ended almost as soon as it started. All too soon he pulled away leaving Tahiri speechless touching her lips with a fingertip in disbelief.  
  
Jacen blocked the doors and stood steadfast, an obstinate glare on his face as he raised one finger to point at her, an action she'd seen Han Solo take several times before.  
  
"I want you to listen to me, Tahiri. No interrupting, got it?" he ordered as he started stepping closer to her. To keep her distance, she had to keep stepping back and nearly tripped once or twice in her blasted shoes.  
  
"Yes, okay, I did make a promise to Anakin to look out for you. He asked me back on Myrkr. It was the last thing he said to me. But I had forgotten all about it until you showed up in my room that night. Remember?" Tahiri merely nodded, still unable to speak from the shock of his kissing her. "I had already seen how sad and lonely you were and wanted to help even before I remembered my promise."  
  
He stopped walking and hung his head. "I admit, at first I was a bit arrogant in thinking I could somehow 'save' you from your sorrow. No one would allow me to go back to active duty, so helping you seemed like a valuable way to spend my time."  
  
He looked up to see her glaring angrily at his confession, and forced himself to continue. "But the more time I spent with you, the more I got to know you, I realized that I wasn't doing it for Anakin...and I wasn't doing it for you. I wanted to be with you...to spend time with you...for _me_."  
  
Jacen took a few more steps toward her, and this time she didn't move away. He stopped until they were only inches apart, his eyes gazing down into hers, his fingers lightly caressing the side of her face. "I tried to tell you the other night at my parents', and then again at the beach." His fingers left her face and brushed down her bare arm to gently take her hand. "But we kept getting interrupted." He reached up, pushed her bangs out of the way revealing her Vong scar and then tenderly placed a feather- light kiss on her forehead.  
  
When he pulled back to gauge her reaction, he smiled. She still had her eyes closed. "So, you are right." Her eyes popped open questioningly. "I have now fulfilled my obligation to Anakin. He told me to kiss you, so that kiss I just gave you was for him."  
  
Her face fell instantly at his admission, and tears started to trickle down her cheek. Jacen forced her to look at him with a gentle nudge under her chin. "That was for him...but this..._this_ is for _me_," and his lips claimed hers in a passionate kiss that started out rather forcibly but quickly turned achingly tender as each of them savored every press of their mouths together. Jacen slipped an arm around her waist pulling her even closer and relishing the feel of the bare skin of her back.  
  
He wasn't letting go.

* * *

"What are you up to, dear?"  
  
Han turned to see his wife staring up at him, one eyebrow raised in suspicion, hands on her slender hips.  
  
"I'm not up to anything, Princess," he replied.  
  
"And you expect me to believe that? I know you better than you know yourself," she said with smirk. "Anyway, have you seen Jacen? I want to find out how things went with Tenel Ka."  
  
"Um... he's, uh, a bit preoccupied at the moment."  
  
"What are you talking about?" Leia seemed to realize at that moment that her husband was actually 'guarding' the set of closed doors behind him. "Is he out there?" she asked pointing toward the door. Han simply shrugged. Leia pushed past him with a huff and froze in place the instant she glanced out of a plane of glass. "Do you see what I see?" she asked as her husband moved close behind her to take a look.  
  
"It's about time," Han declared. Leia spun around to stare at him.  
  
"That was Jacen," she said, "our son..."  
  
"Yeah, we're acquainted," Han teased, enjoying the look of shock on his wife's face. For once, he was the one in the know.  
  
"He was kissing...Tahiri," she stated in a faint gasp. "Did you...did you know about this?"  
  
He flashed her a Solo grin and simply nodded. Leia's expression of wide- eyed astonishment gradually changed to a grin of her own and she playfully swatted his chest.  
  
"Why, you conniving little matchmaking nerfherder!" she exclaimed flirtatiously. "I suppose this means he's not marrying Tenel Ka."  
  
Han chuckled. "Guess not. He seems pretty content with his present situation." Han and Leia took another look out the glass in the door, and Leia gasped.  
  
"Did you see that?! He just grabbed her a—"  
  
"That's my boy!" Han interjected proudly slipping an arm around his wife and urging her away from the doors. "Let's say we give them some privacy, sweetheart, and find some of our own."  
  
"Oh, Han!" Leia declared leaning into him for a hug. "I love you."  
  
"I know," he replied. "I know." 


	24. The End

**_ You Get Me _** ---ch 24

* * *

Jacen's warm, strong lips eventually ceased their gentle tasting and slipped reluctantly from Tahiri's along with his hands which had been ardently caressing her back. A tingly heat had spread from her center to every tip of her body the instant his lips had crushed hers, and as the kisses became more tender, she was nearly brought to tears. Slowly, she opened her eyes, not quite ready to let go of the passionate intensity of the moment, and found him studying her face intently. He seemed to be waiting for her response, but she found she could not speak—only stare back. Her brain was still too busy processing the fact that he had kissed her and couldn't manage to extend the energy required to form words.  
  
Anakin had sure never kissed her like that!  
  
Her fingers came back up to touch her lips. They felt a bit swollen, but somehow she didn't mind.

* * *

Jacen took a step back and cleared his throat.  
  
"Um...," he muttered, the courage that had been coursing through his veins minutes before had suddenly fled at top speed.  
  
Tahiri seemed to be staring at nothing in particular now, her green eyes sparkling as they gazed off into space. He watched as she turned around and walked absent-mindedly over toward the wall by the cliff edge. Should he follow? Did she want him to? He had expected some type of response from her—a smile, a kind word, even a smack would have given him some clue as to what she was thinking right now and saved him from this torture of not knowing.  
  
He shrugged his shoulders and followed behind at a safe distance. He couldn't stand the silence.  
  
"Tahiri?" he said. She looked up at him and so he continued. "I hope that was okay. Maybe I was assuming too much by taking such liberties, but I had come to believe that you felt the same way about me that I've come to feel about you."  
  
Still no response, just her eyes staring up at him with that same unreadable expression, so he kept talking.  
  
"I, um, I just couldn't help myself anymore," he confessed stepping closer to her, longing to touch her again. His hand came up and hovered next to her cheek again, but he didn't make contact. Instead, he dropped his hand and took a deep breath.  
  
"I hope that I didn't offend you, and I...I hope that you'll forgive me if I did. I just...," he paused and his hand itched to pull her into his arms, "I just need you in my life, and I _want_ you... desperately with every bone in my body." He stopped and placed his hands on both of her shoulders. He wanted to look her right in the eyes when he said this.  
  
"Tahiri, I'm falling in love with you," he declared firmly. There. It was said. He'd done what he'd set out to do. He ran a hand back through his hair and said shyly, "Um, any feedback here would be greatly appreciated."  
  
If only she'd say something.

* * *

"Tahiri, I'm falling in love with you."  
  
He said it. _Love_. He loved her. _He_ loved _her_.  
  
She had been walking in a haze for the past few moments after his heart- pounding kiss, trying to soak it all in and figure out what it really meant. Now with his clear declaration there was no mistaking what it meant.  
  
He loved her.  
  
And she loved him.  
  
Sure, she had tried not to...tried to keep her heart from taking the tumble, but the more she'd gotten to know him the more impossible it had become to keep from falling for him. Not only was he the most handsome man in existence, in her opinion, but his kind and compassionate nature had torn down her defenses piece by piece until her love for him was undeniable.  
  
Something in her snapped. One second she was standing stock still nearly a foot apart from him, and the next she was in his arms, her hands running madly through his hair and then up and down his chest as her lips attacked his with a ferocity she'd never dreamed herself capable of. All she knew was that she'd been waiting for this moment for far too long.

* * *

"Jag, I'm sure I saw him go out these doors just a few minutes ago," Jaina called back over her shoulder. "I want to know what happened between him and Tenel Ka."  
  
Jag had a good idea as to what had happened between Jacen and the young Hapan queen but knew if he tried to deter Jaina any longer from finding her brother, she'd grow suspicious. So he let her go.  
  
Jaina swung open the doors, ready to barge outside and find out why her brother had not reported back to her, but instead all she could do was freeze in her tracks.  
  
"Oh. My. Gosh," she gasped in a whisper. "Jag?"  
  
"I'm here," he said stepping up behind her to see what had caused her to halt so suddenly.  
  
She pointed straight ahead and muttered, "Jacen...Tahiri...kissing."  
  
"I'll say!" Jag snickered as he observed the couple outside who were quite oblivious to any onlookers. In fact, they would doubtless not even notice if a bomb exploded right now seeing as how they were deeply involved in their... Was that even _legal_ in this part of the galaxy? he wondered, strangely impressed at the sight of Jacen and Tahiri thoroughly enjoying one another's company.  
  
Suddenly, Jag felt like a sleazy voyeuristic intruder and nudged Jaina aside so he could pull the doors shut again. "Come on, Goddess," he urged. "Somehow I don't think your brother is going to be marrying the Hapan queen."  
  
Jaina stared up at him dumbfounded as he slipped an arm around her waist and led her back into the ballroom. "How did I miss this?" she asked, more of herself than him. "He's my brother---my _TWIN_ brother. Our Force bond...I just don't understand."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Jaina. Sometimes we're simply too close to a situation to see the big picture. Besides, I'm not so sure Jacen understood it all before, but," he added with another glance out the door, "I think it's safe to say he finally figured it all out." He laughed as Jaina cracked a smile.  
  
"Well, he's going to hear about this. He's been blocking me for weeks. I figured it was just his way of dealing with all that's happened to him. I never imagined he and Tahiri..." She trailed off shaking her head as realization dawned.  
  
"Sithspit! I am such an idiot! I've been going on and on about Tenel Ka and Danni Quee in front of Tahiri for days. She probably wanted to rip my tongue out!"  
  
"Well, you can apologize later," he whispered secretively. "I happen to have my own plans for your tongue right now, Goddess."  
  
Jaina glanced up to see Jag's seductive grin and smiled back. "I think I could go for that."  
  
"Good," Jag replied as they continued making their way through the crowd. "And do you think we could maybe try what they were doing back there? It looked rather..._enjoyable_."  
  
Jaina laughed out loud before coming to a stop directly in front of the Chiss pilot. "You're on... _IF_ you think you can handle it. It looked a little... _rough_."  
  
"Why do you think I want to try it?"

* * *

Jacen's back had slammed into the stone wall when Tahiri had first jumped into his arms, but any pain was quickly forgotten as she fervently covered his mouth with savage kisses and ran her hands all over his upper body and through his hair. Gradually, the touch of her lips and hands gentled, and Jacen didn't know whether to be happy about that or not...until he felt the slow stroke of her tongue.  
  
Oh, yeah... slower was _definitely_ better.

* * *

At least the shoes had been good for something. When she stood on her tiptoes, they gave her the extra bit of height she needed to easily reach his mouth. However, she needed to breathe, so her lips grudgingly abandoned his and she laid her cheek against his chest, pleased to hear it pounding as frantically as her own. His arms embraced her tightly as if to say _'I'm not letting you go now'_, and she snuggled in closer slipping her arms around his waist. She took a deep breath, filling her nose with the pure, male scent of him and sighed deeply.  
  
"Um, I may be going out on a limb here," he said, struggling to catch his breath, "but I'm going to assume this means that you like me just a little."  
  
Tahiri chuckled and tilted her head back to smile at him, only to frown when she looked upon his face. She wiggled out of his arms and gently touched the corner of his mouth. When she pulled it away, he saw the smear of blood on her finger and instantly stuck his tongue out to find the hint of a metallic taste on his lip.  
  
"Did I do that?" she asked in concern.  
  
Jacen raised his eyebrows. "I guess so," he admitted in slight surprise, still licking his lip.  
  
"Oh, Jacen! I'm so sorry!" Tahiri exclaimed with a look of remorse on her pretty face.  
  
He smiled and pulled her back to him. "Don't be. I think I kind of liked it," he added, a bit surprised to admit it. Tahiri laughed and he lowered his face and pressed his forehead to hers.  
  
"Jacen, I _do_ love you," she said softly staring into his eyes. "I tried not to, but you made it so hard. You kept following me around being so...nice. And then you took me on that boat and made me work at the camp, and you told those silly jokes and understood my Vong curse, and then your shirt was off and you said you needed me and taught me how to swim and we were all wet...in the water...and—"  
  
Jacen's head was spinning. "Tahiri?" he interrupted, and she looked at him quizzically. "I have no idea what you just said, but I'm going to kiss you again now."  
  
She nodded her acceptance as his mouth claimed hers yet again, this time so tender and full of promise. There was no need to rush. She heard his little moan of pleasure and for some reason found it funny. At the sound of her giggle, which he took as a signal to end the kiss, he reluctantly pulled away.  
  
"What do you say we go back in and finish that dance?" he suggested, knowing that someone would surely come looking for them soon. The thought that somebody might see them in such a position doing such...pleasurable things was enough to let him know they needed to take a break.  
  
But only for a while.  
  
Now that he had her, he didn't plan on letting her go---_ever_.  
  
Tahiri couldn't tear her eyes from Jacen's deep brown gaze. What she saw reflected back to her was nearly overwhelming in magnitude. She had loved Anakin, and part of her still did...always would, but what she felt for Jacen was different in a way that promised so much more.  
  
"Okay, we'll go dance," she replied. "On one condition."  
  
"What's that?" he asked curiously.  
  
Tahiri stepped back, leaned down and pulled of her shoes holding them right in front of him. "I'll finish the dance as long as I don't have to wear _these_," she stated with a snarl of pure disgust.  
  
Jacen promptly took the shoes from her, held them up for one last look, and then chucked them forcefully over the wall using a little help from the Force to make sure they landed far, far out to sea.  
  
"Shall we?" he said turning to offer his hand.  
  
Tahiri laughed and accepted his offer. When they reached the doors, Jacen had second thoughts, his body already aching to hold hers again.  
  
"You know, we could ditch this joint and find someplace a bit more private." That Solo grin was plastered irresistibly onto his sexy face.  
  
"Won't everyone wonder where we are?" she countered, secretly hoping he would wear down her defenses as usual.  
  
He sighed and nodded. "Later then," he said, leaning in for another kiss. Right before his lips met hers, something caught their attention out of the corner of their eyes. Turning to look behind them, they were met with the shimmering form of Anakin Solo smiling back.  
  
"Anakin," Tahiri whispered, feeling none of the former guilt or pain she used to feel.  
  
"Sweet Force! That took long enough!" he declared shaking his head.  
  
Jacen and Tahiri glanced at each other in shock and then back to Anakin.  
  
"I don't know which of you two is more stubborn. Good grief, Jace, I brought her right to your room a month ago! Are you that thick-headed?"  
  
Jacen worked his jaw as if to answer, but was stopped when Anakin raised his hand to halt his brother's words. "Oh, well. It doesn't matter now. The will of the Force has finally been fulfilled. You two have finally admitted your feelings and can both move on to what the Force has next for your lives. All in all, I think my work here is finally done."  
  
He paused for a moment and studied the couple in front of him. "Be happy, you two."  
  
"We will, little brother. Thanks to you," Jacen said, with a slight catch in his voice.  
  
With another smile, Anakin vanished, leaving Jacen and Tahiri with the feeling that it was the last time they would see him this way. Tahiri slid her arms around Jacen and hugged him tight, him willingly returning the embrace and adding a sweet kiss to the top of her blonde head.  
  
"Looks like you're stuck with me," she said, her voice muffled against his vest.  
  
Jacen cupped her chin in his strong hand and looked lovingly into her eyes before placing a gently kiss on her mouth.  
  
"Tahiri, there's no place I'd rather be."  
  
_**The End.**_

* * *

I hope you've enjoyed this story. It was purely for fun and to fulfill my unquenchable thirst for mush! :) 


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